In a recent Reddit post, a bride opens up about her family history and why she felt a stronger connection to her mom than her dad—enough to have her walk down the aisle.
The Truth of the Matter
OP is a soon-to-be bride who was adopted. She no longer has any contact with any of her biological family, and she grew up with her adoptive family.
Family Situation
OP grew up with the support of both adoptive parents, but she believes she’s more emotionally connected with her adoptive mom. What adds to this is that she thinks the adoption was primarily her mom’s idea.
Daddy’s Little Girl?
Though her adoptive father was present and cared for her, they never bonded like a true father and daughter. OP looks to him more like a good family friend than her dad.
Messed-up Father-Figure
OP’s adoptive father struggled with depression and alcohol and was constantly in and out of rehab. This is the main reason behind OP’s lack of affinity for him.
Because he wasn’t really present during her formative years, OP didn’t get to build a strong bond or connection with him compared to her mom.
Father and Son Bond
OP’s adoptive parents have a biological son who is two years older than her. When their father got out of rehab permanently, he fully rebuilt his bond with his son; it was like he had never left.
Jealousy Runs Deep in the Family
On the other hand, OP, then 11, felt left out of the group. This experience left a bitter taste in her mouth and somewhat contributed to the kind of relationship she had with him as time moved forward.
Wedding Bells in the Air
Fast forward a couple of years, OP met her soulmate and the love of her life. They recently decided to tie the knot, get hitched, and spend the rest of their lives together.
Mom’s Special Place
Given that OP’s closer with her mom than her dad, she asked her to walk her down the aisle on her special day.
No Other Way to Describe Mom’s Happiness
Hearing of her daughter’s decision, OP’s mom was simply ecstatic. Being self-conscious, her mom doubts herself a lot and has low self-esteem.
So, being asked to stand by her daughter on her special day made her feel loved and special, too. She was overjoyed, and she felt like she was on Cloud Nine.
Family’s Hot Topic
Once the news of her decision broke out, it felt like all the spotlights were on her. Family members here and there flocked to her to give her a piece of their minds.
Nosy Aunts and Grandmas
Aunts and grandmothers made it a point to show her how angry they were about her decision—even if they didn’t even pay any attention to her and her feelings before.
Previously Unbothered Uncles and Grandpas
Uncles and grandfathers who didn’t give her the time of day before had the nerve to call her up to tell her how disappointed they were about her decision.
Meddlesome and Unsolicited Opinions
One aunt even specifically told OP that the right—and honor—of walking her down the aisle belongs solely to her father, no matter how she felt about him.
Father Versus Father
In her aunt’s eyes, though her adoptive father had many flaws, he was still much better than her good-for-nothing biological father who left her.
Unwanted Attention and Pressure
Everyone’s thoughts and opinions made the situation bigger than it was. All the pressure made OP’s mom tell her she’d rather not walk her down the aisle anymore.
Given her mom’s personality, OP knows she only decided to do this since everyone was getting mad.
Conflicting Thoughts
Everything about this whole ordeal has left OP feeling confused. She sees her aunt’s point and almost changes her mind, especially with her mom expressing thoughts of backing out.
Stubborn and Ungrateful or Resolute and Knows What She Wants?
However, even with everything going on, OP wants to stand her ground and still have her mom walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. Yet, with everyone saying otherwise, she feels ungrateful and unappreciative of everything her family’s done for her.
It’s 2023!
One Redditor stands by the OP and backs her up, saying she can walk down the aisle with anyone she chooses. She says, “You are not anyone’s property, and in 2023, we should all do better.”
It’s Your Choice
Some people from Reddit advised her to walk herself down the aisle—or walk with the groom! A commenter said, “Nobody deserves to walk you down the aisle. That is a choice you make at your wedding, whether to be walked or not.”
Traditions, Traditions, Traditions
At the end of the day, a father walking a daughter down the aisle is not a right. It’s a piece of tradition passed on from previous generations.
Today, many see the act of giving away the bride as misogynistic. It’s your wedding, so do you!
Highs and Lows of Weddings
A wedding is one of the most magical highlights of one’s life, but it is not without chaos, tears, and stress. What would you say to the OP struggling to stand her ground?
This post first appeared as Bride-To-Be Asks Her Mother to Walk Her Down the Aisle Instead of Her Father, and Everyone Got Boiling Mad on Quote Ambition.
