This Reddit user turned to the community for advice after he and his wife started the legal procedures that would transfer his adopted child’s name to his biological son, and the internet is furious!
A Family Tradition
Our OP (Original Poster) is August V, and his name goes back several generations. It’s a long-standing tradition in his family to name the first-born son the same to continue the legacy.
August V mentioned that he had always planned to name his first-born son August VI.
Terrible News for a Couple
Sadly, after several tries, August V and his wife found out he couldn’t father children.
He said, “My wife and I were horrified to find out I was essentially firing blanks and was told I would essentially never be able to father kids—heartbreaking. We started the adoption process right away, looking in mostly foreign countries so it would go faster, and we were able to adopt a baby boy from Vietnam.”
Knowing that there’s almost no chance of them having a biological son, OP and his wife decided to pass on the family’s legacy to him. So, even if people knew and called him Thien, his legal name is actually August VI.
OP also added that their son was called Thien at school, church, and other social situations.
Let Nature Take Its Course
The couple loved Thien and generally accepted their fate. However, they were not without hope.
So, as OP said, “We also agreed we would let nature take its course because miracles can happen.”
Seven Years Later!
Unexpectedly, OP and his wife were blessed to have a biological child seven years later. OP said, “We have a healthy, beautiful, amazing biological son who we love just as much as we love Thien.”
Taking Back What Was His
Now that they have a biological son, the couple seemed to think it was only right for them to retract Thien’s legal name and instead give it to their biological son.
OP shared, “I decided with my wife’s agreement that because we now have a bio son, it is better to give the first-born bio son the family name. We have gone through the procedures to get Thien’s name legally changed, and our bio son has August [Surname Removed] VI on his birth certificate.”
He Doesn’t Care at All
To appease the situation, he added that Thien did not seem to care about the name change or all the legal procedures. He said that Thien paid more attention to the judge’s gavel.
Keeping Things Hushed
The couple didn’t want to tell anyone about their children’s names, but they needed to explain things to Thien’s school. Of course, news like this spread like wildfire.
OP said, “Somehow, word got out from a busybody at the school and made it back to Thien’s soccer team. We’re now essentially social pariahs and the subject of massive gossip—accusations of not loving Thien enough.”
Things Are Getting Out of Hand
It seemed that there was no end to everything, and the couple had even considered transferring Thien to a different team. However, Thien has three best friends in his current team and would be undoubtedly heartbroken if he needed to separate from them.
Did We Really Do the Wrong Thing?
It never crossed OP’s mind that he and his wife did the wrong thing. However, with the attention they’re getting, he said, “It’s gotten so bad. Am I the a**hole?”
Redditors’ Opinions on the Matter
People straightforwardly told OP that he and his wife did something any parent shouldn’t do—or even consider.
One said, “You are the a**hole. People like you really shouldn’t adopt.” It’s followed by another person saying, “You’re the a**hole. You dragged your kid to a legal proceeding to make sure he knows his place will always be less than your bio son.”
Adopting Kids Is a Big Responsibility
The couple is also under fire for treating Thien like someone—or something—they could easily replace.
A Redditor shared, “If you have fertility problems go to a therapist before adoption. Kids aren’t placeholders.” Then, another user also said, “All children are gifts to us whether we give birth to them or are blessed to marry their parent or foster and/or adopt. They’re not sofa pillows we change out for each season.”
Parents on the thread can’t even begin to fathom how the couple could push through with something like this.
One person said, “I’m still trying to wrap my brain around this man’s thinking. These two people shouldn’t be allowed to have any children, in my personal opinion.” Then, another exclaimed, “What you did was so disgusting; this post has to be fake.”
Shame on You!
Redditors are heartbroken for Thien for having someone like OP and his wife as adoptive parents. One of the comments was, “Great way to show your adopted child that biology trumps all. Shame on you and your wife.”
One Redditor also said, “Of course, you’re the a**hole. Your son is not a dog; you can’t just change his name willy-nilly. You say you love your sons equally, and frankly, I don’t believe you; Thien is as much as your son as this new baby, and robbing your first child of his name because now you have a successful sperm is so selfish and damaging to your son’s mental health.”
What can you say about how OP and his wife handled things? What would you do if you were in their shoes?
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This post first appeared as He Changed His Adopted Son’s Name After Seven Years So His Recently-Born Biological Child Could Use It Instead on Quote Ambition.