This Redditor wants to know if he was wrong to hide that his parents were gay from his girlfriend. However, he honestly thought it wasn’t worth mentioning. Is he wrong for feeling this way?
Complicated but Working Family Dynamics
OP (Original Poster) is a 25-year-old man with two dads. He calls his biological father, John, “Dad,” and his other dad, Dwayne, “Pops.”
A Divorced Parent
He mentioned that his biological father divorced his mom when he was young. Now, his mom is somewhere in California, and OP has no idea what she’s doing or exactly where she is.
OP said he hadn’t talked to his mom in years.
Building a New Family
Even if OP’s biological parents divorced when he was young, he’s happy. He mentioned that he’s very close with both his dad and his pops.
He said that they are both the best parents anyone could ask for, and they have been the ones who stuck with him through thick and thin. He mentioned that he loves them both very much.
Thumbs up to Pops!
OP said he was introduced to his pops when he was a little boy. He was told they were in a relationship, and OP remembers wholeheartedly accepting his dad’s new partner.
After all, he saw how unhappy his dad was when he was single and alone. So, seeing his dad happy with his newfound love made him happy, too.
Blessed to Have Two Dads
OP’s dad and pops got married, and they were all very content. He even said he’s probably much closer to his pops than his dad because he is laid-back.
Nevertheless, he loves them both equally. He mentioned he’s blessed to have both of them as his fathers.
Meeting a Lovely Girl
OP goes on to say that he’s been dating a girl named Bella. He mentioned that she’s the same age as he is.
So, they kicked it off right away! He also said she was cute and that he liked her.
Meet the Parents?
Because they’ve been dating for quite a while, Bella told OP that her parents wanted to meet his parents over dinner. OP agreed and told her that he would tell his family.
Tonight’s the Night
The day before this story was posted, Bella came to his house ahead of her parents. OP’s pops was the one who greeted her, and he said, “Come on in, sweetheart, dinner is ready.”
Bella then replied that it was great to meet her boyfriend’s dad. She shakes his hand and then sees OP’s dad leaving the kitchen.
Bella sees OP’s dad with mittens while putting down the food tray on the table. Confused, Bella asks OP, “Who’s he?”
Then, OP replied, “Oh, that’s my dad.” She replied, “I thought he’s your dad,” pointing to OP’s pops.
Trying to Explain
OP then started to clarify things. He said the first one she met was his pops, and the other was his dad.
Bella pulled OP aside and said, “I didn’t know your parents are gay. Oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me?”
Hiding Things or Just Naive?
OP thought that it wouldn’t be an issue. He says, “Because you’re dating me, not my parents and all, so it shouldn’t matter.”
Can’t Get Out of There Fast Enough
It seems Bella didn’t know how to react or make sense of the situation. So, when her parents arrived, she immediately took off and told them it was time to leave.
What a Disaster
Their dinner was effectively ruined, so OP apologized to his parents. They said, “Son, don’t worry; this is nothing new.”
The three took their mind off things, ate dinner, and went to bed. But OP is left with the question of whether or not he was an a**hole for not telling his girlfriend the truth.
The Community’s Thoughts
The top comment from the thread is very witty yet packed with heavy truth. He says, “Did she ever tell you her parents are straight?”
It’s very short and straightforward, but lots of people agree with him.
A Heads-up Would’ve Been Great
Even though people say OP is not the a**hole, many say it would have been better if he gave his girlfriend a heads-up. A Redditor shares, “Not the a**hole, but a comment before she met them would have been good—even a, ‘So we’ll be meeting my Dad, his name is John, and my Pops, his name is Dwayne.’”
A great point about OP’s naivety was also raised; after all, how could they reach that point in their relationship without talking about their families? One person goes, “But perhaps naive. Unfortunately, it’s probably better to let a girlfriend know you have two dads so you can weed out the homophobes before you accidentally bring them home for dinner.”
Do you think OP could’ve approached things in a better way? Would you have reacted the same way as his girlfriend?
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This post first appeared as He Didn’t Tell His Girlfriend His Parents Were Gay, so She Was Shocked and Ran Out of the House When She Met Them for Dinner. Was He Wrong or Just Naive to Hide This From Her? on Quote Ambition.