He doesn’t trust his girlfriend’s ex enough to leave them alone in his apartment. She knew how he felt about him visiting, yet she still decided to break his one and only rule!
Two Plus One and Another One
Thirty-five-year-old OP (Original Poster) and Sara, his girlfriend of the same age, have been together for four years. She has a 9-year-old son, Nathan, with her 36-year-old ex, Mark.
Sara has full custody of Nathan, and her ex has scheduled visitations a weekend every month.
Saying Goodbye to the Bachelor Life
More than a year and a half before he shared this story, Sara and Nathan moved in with OP, and for him, it wasn’t easy. OP has always been protective of his personal space, so making room for two other people was hard for him.
When Sara lived with him, they agreed that the visitations for Mark would be held in their apartment as long as OP was present. Mark has a criminal record, and OP doesn’t know what it’s for as Sara has never directly told him, and he also didn’t want to push her to do so.
He wrote, “The main reason I wanted this is because I don’t know Mark that well, and I don’t want him wandering around our apartment without me there. When we proposed this idea to Mark, he was fine with it.”
It’s Been a While
Then, three weeks before this story was posted, it was already four months since Mark’s last visit. So, OP had to ask Sara when he was planning on seeing Nathan.
Sara just shrugged her shoulders and told OP she’d ask, but she never followed up.
Several days later, OP asked again when Mark’s next visit was, and Sara said she’d tell OP when she knew. At that time, Nathan was in the living room but heard them talking and shouted something like, “Dad was here last weekend, remember?”
Out With It
With that, Sara’s face immediately dropped. When OP asked her what her son was talking about, she wouldn’t give him a direct answer.
Not long after, Sara admitted that for the past two visits, Mark had been to their apartment when OP was working. OP accused Sara of going back on their agreement, and she kept telling him that it was her home, too, and she could invite whomever she wanted.
She said it was fine because she was present and watching.
However, OP told her that was beside the point, and she broke his trust. Everything became a huge argument, and OP ended up telling Sara to get out of his apartment.
Leaving With a Heavy Heart
She then packed up her things and left with Nathan. The last OP heard, Sara and her son were staying with her parents.
Does He Pass As One?
After that, OP received several messages from Sara and her parents, accusing him of being an “a**hole” for kicking her and Nathan out of their home for something “so small.” Aside from that, Sara has been blasting OP on his Instagram and Facebook, saying how horrible he is to do such a thing to her.
OP wrote, “It’s got me thinking I might be the a**hole, but I’m not entirely sure yet. Am I the a**hole?”
What People Have to Say
Redditors think that Sara should have informed OP if she had any problem with only letting Mark visit if OP was at home instead of sneaking and lying about it.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Not only did she break the only rule you had, but she lied about it multiple times and seemed never to have the intention to tell you until the kid revealed the truth. If she had an issue with the single boundary you’ve set, she should’ve talked to you and ‘renegotiated’ it, but she didn’t bother. And I’m sorry, but letting someone move in with you doesn’t automatically make you and them 100% equal residents in a house you own, especially when it comes to conditions that were agreed on before the move.”
She Deceived You
Some said Sara showed no respect to OP when she lied about her ex visiting, more so when she was bold enough to trick him into accepting that what she did was okay.
A Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. She lied to you multiple times, and when she got caught, her response was to try to emotionally manipulate you into accepting this blatant violation of your boundaries. Even if this was entirely above board, though she wouldn’t have had to lie if it was, and she didn’t do anything with her ex, there’s clearly no respect for you here.”
Redditors also can’t believe how easy it was for OP to kick his girlfriend and her son out of the home they’ve been living in for more than a year.
“Everyone sucks here. She shouldn’t have lied, and that’s weird. But, dude, you kicked them out like they were guests. You just said they’ve been living there for a year and a half. You kicked a child out of his home instantly on a whim for something he had nothing to do with. What the f***? I hope at least you consider this a break up and are done with them both in your life,” someone commented.
The community acknowledged both sides’ mistakes, saying that OP was too much and Sara’s lies were unacceptable.
One Redditor wrote, “The rule about you supervising the dad and not thinking her supervision was good enough is kind of stupid. That was supposed to be her home, too. You’ve been living together long enough that, even if that rule seemed appropriate at the beginning, you should have relaxed it after 18 months. Living with a woman with a kid means co-parenting with the father will be a part of your life.”
The same person added, “However, she outright lied to you and put a child in the middle of that dishonesty. That is absolutely a reason to end a relationship. Lying about something she disagrees with, even though it’s stupid, would lead me to wonder what else she lies about. Anyway, I think both of you were wrong. Everyone sucks here.”
What can you say about OP’s problem? Would you say he’s the “a**hole?”
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This post first appeared as He Kicked His Girlfriend and Her Nine-Year-Old Son Out After She Invited Her Criminal Ex Into His House Without His Permission. Now He’s Blasted as a “Jerk” With No Mercy! on Quote Ambition.