This soon-to-be dad would have no problems naming their son after his wife’s late brother—if only combining his last name and brother-in-law’s first name wouldn’t equate to an infamous serial killer’s name!
OP (Original Poster) and his wife, Melissa, have been married for four years. With his wife being eight months pregnant, they are well on their way to becoming parents!
Giving Her His Last Name
When they got married, Melissa decided she would take OP’s last name legally. OP shared that Melissa didn’t want to be associated with her maiden name because she had had a lot of trouble with her parents.
However, OP’s last name is Manson. He said, “As in Charles Manson. It really sucks, but it’s what I have.”
Though they had the same last name as the infamous serial killer, OP and his wife didn’t encounter any problems with it until now.
A few weeks before this story was posted, Melissa’s beloved brother suddenly died from a heart attack; he was only 35. As a result, both OP and his wife were shocked and devastated.
In Memory of Him
OP shared that his brother-in-law was a great man. He was always healthy, and the couple had been very close to him.
Because OP’s brother-in-law seemed healthy on the outside, nobody saw the heart attack coming. They also didn’t expect that he would be gone from this world so early in his life.
He shared, “He left behind his wife and three kids.”
A Piece of Her Brother
Melissa loved her brother very much and decided to name their soon-to-be-born son after him. OP would have absolutely no problem with his wife’s decision if only his brother-in-law’s name weren’t Charles.
OP would never allow his son to be named Charles Manson! However, Melissa insisted that “nobody would notice or care.”
You’re Disrespecting Him
His wife is now calling OP an a**hole because he was “disrespecting” her brother by thinking the way he did. However, OP wanted to note that his brother-in-law’s name was not Manson; it was his.
So, he didn’t have a problem with his brother-in-law’s first name at all. His issue was his first name getting combined with his last name.
Thinking of the Future
OP was only thinking of his son’s future. He said, “I really do not want our kid to have to go through life having the same name as a serial killer. Imagine how hard it would be to get a job.”
However, he’s also thinking about whether he should let things go since, if he did, they’d be naming their son after a man who had been so important to Melissa.
Insights From Redditors
For Redditors, OP is doing what is right by trying to think of his son’s future.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. You are truly protecting the kid. Use Charles as a middle name if you must, or maybe honor her brother using his middle name? A nickname she used to call him? But seriously, don’t call your kid Charles Manson. Or after any particularly well-documented serial killer.”
Some Redditors noted that the thread itself proves that OP should be firm in his decision and not let himself be swayed by his wife’s thoughts.
“As this post is showing, people clearly still remember the name Charles Manson and you’re setting your kid up for, at best, teasing and, at worst, having to deal with people thinking he or your family approve of the things that man did. The situation sucks, but not the a**hole, and definitely stick to your guns here,” wrote one Redditor.
Don’t Even Use It as a Middle Name!
There were also users who said not to use it as a middle name because it would still sound bad.
One said, “Using Charles as a middle name is risky because if he ever gets fully named at school or whatever, it still sounds bad. ‘Harold Charles Manson,’ for example.” Another wrote, “Even if you’re not studying criminology or addicted to crime shows, it’s pretty f****** common knowledge who Charles Manson was. The fact that she’s doing it in homage to her brother instead, though, would not be.”
People also wanted to tell OP to let his wife grieve. She might not see things as clearly because she was still grieving her brother’s death.
“OP, your wife is grieving, so it’s hard for her to make decisions like this without that coming into it. But you’re truly protecting your son from a lot of bullying, so keep at it,” a Redditor wrote.
Do you think OP is being disrespectful to his late brother-in-law? What would you advise him to do?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Allow His Wife to Name Their Son After Her Late Brother Because He Would End Up Being Called “Charles Manson,” a Serial Killer! Was He Being Disrespectful? on Quote Ambition.