A young man’s sister is getting married to a man that his oldest sister dated. At first, there weren’t any problems, but things started getting serious, and their family started to pick sides!
A Gaggle of Sisters
OP (Original Poster) has several sisters, but his story revolves around two of them: his oldest sister, April, and his youngest sister, Megan.
A College Romance
While she had been in college, April had dated a younger man named Jack for two years. When she graduated, she got a job in another state and didn’t want a long-distance relationship, so she broke things off with him.
No One Knows Jack
April had only brought Jack around OP and his family a couple of times during their two-year relationship. As a result, no one knew Jack that well, and as soon as they broke up, the family forgot about him.
A Fateful Night
Five years after April and Jack broke up, a chance meeting would push the family toward chaos.
OP’s younger sister, Megan, was at an industry convention for her job and ran into Jack.
Jack and Megan struck up a conversation, and in short order, they were long-distance dating. Megan made sure to ask April if she had a problem with what was going on, and April gave her “permission to date Jack.”
Everyone in Love
April had moved on from her relationship and had since become engaged to another man. She didn’t seem to care what or who Megan dated, so no one was able to foresee the storm that was brewing.
The year OP posted this story, Jack moved to their state to be “closer to Megan.” The two of them continued their relationship, and they became engaged once they started living closer together.
What’s Her Problem?
After announcing the engagement, April started to act differently toward the couple. She demanded to be the maid of honor, made sure certain mutual friends weren’t invited to the wedding, and even vetoed their choice of a venue for their wedding.
Oblivious and Confused
OP admitted that he had never been involved with a wedding before, so he didn’t know if April had demanded typical concessions or not. However, the dispute between the sisters ended up in a “screaming match.”
A Family Choice
OP didn’t have all the details, but after the fight, his entire family decided not to attend Megan’s wedding. The reasoning they offered was that she was “breaking some kind of rule” by dating and marrying April’s ex.
Thick as Thieves
All in all, he thought that was a “stupid reason,” and so he intended to attend the wedding against the wishes of his family. He had always felt closer to Megan than his other sisters, so for him, it wasn’t a difficult choice.
Accused of Treason
When OP made his intentions known, his older sister April had “gotten onto his case.” She claimed that because OP is a guy, he didn’t understand how big of a betrayal Megan marrying her ex was.
Family Dog Pile
OP had no idea how big of a deal it would become. His entire family sided with April and told him he supported Megan’s “betrayal,” and he was “betraying” April himself by participating in the wedding.
His entire family sent him nonstop texts, calling him “an a**.”
Redditors Chime In
Redditors were not impressed by the behavior of OP’s family, so they made their opinions clear in the comments section of the post.
One said, “Not the a**hole. You’re the only one acting maturely in this situation. If April told Megan it was fine to date Jack, then that is all there should’ve been to it. April went back on her word, which makes April the a**hole because it’s been no secret for this whole time that Megan and Jack were involved with each other. The rest of your family are being a**holes for supporting the a**hole instead of pointing out that April is the one being the a**hole. No, man, you’re good. Go be an awesome brother and support your sister.”
Other Redditors opined that something had to have happened to change the way April looked at the wedding, saying, “So, April didn’t have a problem with Megan dating and being engaged to Jack until the actual preparations were taking place? Either she had an issue, or she didn’t cause that’s not a betrayal if she gave permission. So what is April’s damage exactly?
Not the a**hole. Ignore the texts and go support Megan.”
Why So Serious?
Most Redditors couldn’t believe how selfish and strange the family was acting.
More than one called them out on this behavior, but the best was, “Not the a**hole. Permission to date an ex, once given, can not be withdrawn. April and your family are being awful. Be there for Megan and let her know you have her back and that this isn’t sister versus sister. This is reasonable vs unreasonable. April sounds single.”
Another added, “I feel like April’s fiancé is no longer in the picture by OP’s wording, and that is why April suddenly cares. Her sister marrying her ex was not a big deal when she had moved on first.”
What do you think about dating the ex of one of your siblings? Why would April give permission and then retract it, and is OP wrong for supporting Megan?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Boycott His Sister’s Wedding, Although Everyone in His Family’s Doing So. She’s Marrying Their Sister’s Ex, and Everyone Says His Attendance Is a “Betrayal” in and of Itself! on Quote Ambition.