A man had his stepmother ask him to donate his kidney to her son, his stepbrother. He doesn’t know either well, but she said his family has “good organs” and that “they are family.”
Sometimes, You Have To
OP (Original Poster) is a 29-year-old man who never thought something this strange would happen to him. The situation was so weird to him that he had to get the opinion of others about it.
OP has a 55-year-old stepmother that he has never really gotten close to. They were always civil towards each other, but their relationship went no further than that.
Enter the Other
Her 15-year-old son was a stranger to OP; they had never bonded or connected. He didn’t have a problem with either person, but he didn’t know them very well and hadn’t had many interactions with them.
Things Get Bizarre
The situation started with OP’s stepmother approaching him with what he called an “outrageous request.” She wanted to know if he would donate his kidney to her son.
Yes, a Kidney
The strange thing about the request is that he didn’t even know his stepbrother. He doesn’t live with his mother and lives with his father, so OP has no contact.
A Difficult Struggle
Despite the distance between them, OP knew that his stepbrother had a congenital disease that he had battled for years. That was the reason why he needed to have a kidney transplant done.
Why Ask Me?
OP was shocked that she would come to him with such a request and think he would agree. He asked her why, and his stepmother told him they were family.
She thought he would be willing to sacrifice his kidney for her son, his stepbrother.
Odd Take On It
Beyond just asking, she had made a strange comment to OP. She spoke to him about the longevity and health of his side of the family.
You Said What?
She told OP that his family had “great quality organs.” She based this on the fact that none of them had kidney problems, even if they lived to extreme old age.
Wait a Second
OP tried to explain to her that he didn’t feel connected to her son and that a decision like this would have severe consequences for him. She wasn’t interested in hearing his reasons, though, and she said he was “heartless” and “selfish” for not saving her son’s life.
What About You?
To make matters worse, OP asked her why she hadn’t donated her kidney to her son. She said that it was because she was religious and it wasn’t allowed, but OP was agnostic, so there shouldn’t be a problem.
The Goose and Gander
OP realized then that she wasn’t willing to make the sacrifice for her child because of her beliefs. She asked him to do it and hoped he would follow through with this life-altering decision, which she wouldn’t even consider.
Shouldn’t Have Said That
When he thought about why she had asked him, he recalled that they had recently found out the two shared a blood type. He also had said a couple of years ago that he would do anything to help his family, regardless of how “good or bad our relationship is.”
What Redditors Have to Say
Redditors weighed in, and while they were on OP’s side, many noted how difficult the situation was for OP’s stepmother.
The top comment even gave OP some actionable advice about the situation, “Not the a**hole. I get that she’s scared for her kid, but even so, she’s got a nerve and a half. And the religious thing? Wow, just wow. You can say no with a clear conscience. And you don’t need to justify, argue, defend, or explain why. If you feel compelled to engage with this nonsense somehow, you can see the transplant doctor, say they are coercing you, and they return a ‘No Match’ result. Happens all the time.”
Another commenter gave OP another way out, saying, “Not the a**hole. But the smart play is to agree to test and then tell the psychiatrist screening you that you’re only going through this because of emotional blackmail. They’ll keep that in confidence and declare you ineligible.”
A lot of Redditors also had issues with OP’s stepmother claiming religious reasons for not offering to give her kidney to her son.
A typical comment about the religious aspect of the story was, “Not the a**hole. Why doesn’t your stepmother use her religion to pray his sickness away instead of using it as an excuse?”
Should OP continue to refuse, or should he reconsider his position? Is his stepmother being unfair and manipulative, or is she just desperate to help her son?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Donate a Kidney to His Stepbrother, Who Has a Congenital Disease Requiring a Transplant Because He Barely Knows Him. Now His Stepmother Says He’s “Heartless” and “Selfish!” on Quote Ambition.