When his wife died, he put all of her jewelry safely locked away. But now his daughter wanted every piece, saying he’s “not using it,” but he refused to give it to her!
OP (Original Poster) lost his wife three years before this story was posted. She owned expensive jewelry that was worth around $100,000 and had left everything to her husband when she died.
Heirlooms and Trinkets
Before she died, OP said his wife would spend years saving for each piece. Many of the pieces in her collection were passed down to her from previous generations of her family, making her collection impressive and diverse.
A Wayward Daughter
Then, OP explained that his daughter is a 27-year-old woman who works on commission in sales. Her job is up and down monthly, so her cash flow fluctuates from high to low.
A Never-Ending Cycle
One month, OP’s daughter will have a lot of extra money, and she’ll buy nice things for herself. However, she’ll make almost nothing the following month and have to sell what she purchased the previous month.
It’s not just a one-off thing. OP said she always does it because she is terrible at handling money.
She often has to sell what she’s bought just to provide necessities to herself during the slow months of work.
It’s Her Decision
His daughter’s situation worries OP, and he has tried to help her be more responsible. The problem OP notes is that she is an adult, and there isn’t much he can do to force her to spend more responsibly.
Her Way of Life
OP had watched his daughter do this for years, making a lot one month, then nothing the next. However, what was surprising was that his daughter called him out of the blue and asked if she could have her mother’s jewelry.
A Father’s Preference
Given how bad she was with finances, OP was not comfortable letting his daughter have $100,000 in jewelry. He told her he would rather keep all the jewelry safe and at home.
Things Are Heating Up
When he refused, it started an argument. She mentioned that he never uses the jewelry, nor would he ever wear it, so it’d only be right for her to have them.
A Serious Ultimatum
OP didn’t want to fight and got fed up with the situation. So, he told his daughter that if she wished to own the jewelry, she would have to change how she handled money.
Since his wife had passed the jewelry to him, he told his daughter he would prefer to keep it safe and in a box. He would rather do that than let her have the jewelry which she would use to fund her up-and-down lifestyle.
OP wrote, “I would prefer to keep it in a box than let her sell it when she f**** up her money again.”
Outraged and Indignant
After the argument, OP’s daughter called him a “jerk.” She even went to her late mother’s family, who started to get involved and are speaking on her behalf.
Convinced and Committed
OP said that if his wife had left her jewelry to his daughter, he’d give it up. He added, “Daughter has no claim on them, and I would hand them over if she wouldn’t sell them.”
But right now, given how his daughter handles money, he was sure she would sell it to get some easy cash.
What the Community Thinks
Redditors rallied around OP, saying that the jewelry was not only his but held unique sentimental qualities for him.
One commenter understood OP’s situation and said, “Not the a**hole. As per your earlier comment, it’s all in your name. You have every right to have your say. I’m sure there is a lot of sentiment attached to your wife’s jewelry, and your daughter doesn’t appear to be—at least presently—the type to appreciate it for what it is. Don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise. If your daughter gets her hands on any of it, it will be gone and sitting in a pawn shop.”
Another commentator put it like this, “Not the a**hole. That jewelry will be gone in a month. The fact that she said ‘you’re not using it’ implies she intends to use it. Those items are to be kept, not sold. When she learns it’s not about the money, then we can talk.”
Though his in-laws backed his daughter up, there was no doubt that the community supported him.
One Redditor put it best, saying, “Not the a**hole. She’ll sell the jewelry—it’s her go-to move. She’ll blow through the money, and the jewelry will also disappear. She may never be responsible enough for you to pass it on to her.”
“Not the a**hole. It’s not your daughter’s jewelry; it’s yours and yours alone to decide what to do with. I wouldn’t give it to someone either that would most certainly just squander it,” said another.
Do you think that OP was right about his daughter? Should the $100,00 worth of jewelry belong to his daughter, or should he keep it safe for later?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Give His Daughter His Late Wife’s $100,000 Jewelry, Knowing She’d Sell It Because of How Irresponsible She Is With Money. Now She’s Furious, Calling Him a “Jerk!” on Quote Ambition.