This father has been dubbed the “worst dad ever” by his daughter after he told her he wouldn’t cover her university expenses. However, his sons think he’s being too harsh on their sister!
Proud of Their Daughter?
OP, a cardiologist, and his wife have 3 kids: Leo, who is 30 years old; Mark, who is 28 years old; and Jane, who is 21 years old.
Jane recently broke the news that she got accepted into the university of her choice, and of course, OP and his wife were proud of their daughter. However, the only issue for OP is that Jane got accepted to do an English degree.
Starting College Late
He then shared that Jane started university later than her two brothers.
OP shared, “When me and my wife asked her to start at 18, she claimed that she was not ready and wanted to have a ‘little rest’—a little rest being going out with friends and traveling the whole of last year with her boyfriend.”
After much talk, they allowed Jane to do what she wanted. OP said that it should be noted that he was the one who funded Jane throughout her year of rest.
Get a Degree That’s Worth It!
OP shared, “Me and my wife have nothing against Jane doing what she did. She’s young and young people live to explore and do what they do.”
However, before they allowed her to do so, they made Jane promise that when it was time for her to apply for university, she would get a degree that was “worth it.”
OP said that, at that time, Jane was going through a “weird phase.”
He said she wanted to do a lot of things, but they were more on the creative side.
A Year Later
However, after a year had passed, OP and his wife found out that Jane “had gone behind their backs.” He said she secretly applied for an English degree.
Comparing Her to Her Brothers
OP then shared how Leo and Mark pursued medical degrees and are now successful and well-paid doctors.
He said he had hoped that Jane would look to them as examples and follow in their footsteps. However, instead of doing that, “she had decided to be ‘herself.’”
I’m Not Supporting You!
Given the news, OP sat Jane down and told her that he would not support her in her studies if she pursued an English degree. Instead, she would have to take out a student loan to support herself.
Worst Dad Ever!
Immediately, Jane started crying and told OP he was the “worst dad ever.” She said that he had always favored her brothers over her—mainly because he paid for their university fees.
OP argued that what she said was incorrect, as he funded her travels and her time off from before. However, in an edit, he later clarifies that “her year of travel does not add up to her brothers’ tuition fees—not even close.”
Support From Her Brothers
Unlike Jane’s dad, her brothers supported her all the way.
OP said, “My sons think that I’m being too harsh and that I should simply support Jane regardless of what she chooses, but is it too much to ask of my daughter to follow through with an actually useful degree?”
OP doesn’t think he’s being unfair; he said he just wanted her to do “something useful.” He wants Jane to pursue a degree she “can live off of” instead of “depending on him for the rest of her life.”
OP also added that he’s unsure whether Jane truly wants to pursue an English degree or if she only wants to do so to get back at him.
What the Community Has to Say
People believe OP’s in the wrong here, especially since his only reason for not paying for Jane’s university fees is that he “disapproves” of her choice.
A top commenter wrote, “You’re the a**hole. If it were because you paid an equal amount to her travels as her brother’s education, I would say not the a**hole, but because she chose a degree you ‘disapprove’ of, you are punishing her.”
Redditors also want OP to realize that Jane has all the right to pursue the degree she likes, and there should be no favoritism whatsoever regarding her choice.
One said, “You’re the a**hole. Not everyone wants to do a medical degree. It’s hard, it’s long, and it leads you to being a doctor, which isn’t for everyone. An English degree is a good degree. It’s not a silly degree or a useless degree. I totally understand why she says you favorite her brothers; this is clear proof of that.”
Do you think OP was too harsh on his daughter? What advice would you give him?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Pay For His Daughter’s University Fees Despite Paying for Her Brothers’, All Because He Thinks He Should “Punish” Her for Not Choosing the Degree He Liked on Quote Ambition.