This Redditor thought that his estranged daughter was slowly coming to accept him. However, little did he know that she was only using him for money!
His Ex-wife’s Affair
OP (Original Poster) has three children with his ex-wife, Tracy. Michael is the eldest, followed by Linda, then Victoria.
He wrote, “We split because Tracy had an affair with Stan, to whom she is now married. We never shared with the kids the reason for the divorce, as I didn’t want them to blame either of us.”
Did I Make the Wrong Decision?
Later, OP began thinking about whether he made the wrong decision or not because it backfired. He said the kids saw their mom move out of their house and into a small apartment.
They also witnessed how OP stayed in the house and remarried two years after the divorce.
Is He the Bad Guy?
All these contributed to OP’s kids seeing him as the bad guy.
He added, “Stan and Tracy let them pretty much do whatever they wanted, and I had to be the disciplinarian who made sure homework was done, appointments were made, and deadlines were met.”
Getting More Mature
Later, when Michael and Linda got older, they realized that OP was not the bad guy.
He wrote, “My son, when he found out that his mother had put nothing away for college for him as outlined in our divorce decree, and she told him to take out loans. My daughter, when she realized that her grades were going to keep her out of her desired program in school.”
Not the Same for Victoria
Unfortunately, OP’s youngest “never came around.” So, he was surprised when her boyfriend reached out to him and asked him for his blessing.
He told him that Victoria probably didn’t care about his blessing. But Victoria’s boyfriend insisted that she was adamant about getting his permission.
Coming Around
Victoria started spending time with OP and was polite to his current wife. He said it “felt wonderful to have his daughter back.”
He wrote, “I went with them to book the venue, and they’ll be getting married next summer. I paid the deposit and the first installment.”
Change in Attitude
After the first payment, OP noticed that Victoria had changed her attitude again. She became less communicative, ignored his texts, gave one-word answers, and came over less.
A Post That Gutted Him
Then, the Monday that this story was posted, Michael sent him a post from Instagram. He explained that Victoria had an engagement party to which he was not invited.
He wrote, “One of the photos was her with Stan, and it read, ‘Anyone can be a father. It takes a real man to be a dad. This amazing guy has been my dad for 15 years, even though he didn’t have to be. I am so blessed to have him walk me down the aisle next year! #daddysgirl #futuremrsx.’”
Disappointed
OP expressed his disappointment in what Victoria said. He noted that his kids “never wanted for nothing their entire lives” because he made sure that he always provided for them.
He said, “Even when they wouldn’t talk to me, I made sure their needs were met.”
All the Drama
When OP texted his ex-wife, Tracy, to ask why he was omitted, she said that Victoria “didn’t want his wife there because she wanted a drama-free day.”
OP was exasperated. He said his current wife “has literally never started drama in her life.”
A Dad’s Pained Heart
Then, he asked Tracy if he and Stan would both walk Victoria down the aisle. At this, Tracy didn’t respond.
However, Victoria soon called him, asking what his problem was. OP repeated his question, and Victoria replied, saying, “Stan, her dad, would be walking her down the aisle.”
Making a Decision
Because of this, OP told Victoria that if it was what she wanted, he was okay with it.
However, he added, “I told her to let Stan know the next payment for the wedding is due in November.”
Was He Mean?
OP knew Stan and Tracy couldn’t afford to pay for Victoria’s wedding, so he thinks he might be the a**hole in this situation.
He said, “Linda says if I do this, Victoria will never speak to me again. Michael is on my side.”
The Community’s Reactions
The community told OP that he shouldn’t fret. This is the consequence of Victoria’s choices; she should learn to live with it.
This woman said, “Not the a**hole. If you aren’t her dad in her eyes, then why would you pay for the wedding? And here is a novel idea: the bride and groom can pay for the wedding instead of the parents!”
It’s Her Fault
People also called Victoria out for acting the way she did. His dad, though he’s divorced from his mom, did everything he could to be there for her, after all.
One Redditor wrote, “I decided she doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. Her parents may never have told her the true reason for the divorce. Hell, her mother and stepfather could have spent years disparaging her father. Her father was always there. She had plenty of time to view his actions and judge them. She just never bothered to look. At the most, I might have a conversation with the fiancé to give him the background and then just give her the space to own her choices.”
Another user agreed and said, “I agree that mom’s likely been manipulating her through the years. Notice that OP says the other two kids came around after suffering consequences based on Mom and Stan’s decisions. It had nothing to do with the split itself, right? They were too young when it happened to have any real perspective, and technically, Dad made the right decision not to involve the kids in the split. So what do they hold against him? Dad was the harda**. Mom and Stan were fun. I’m sure it’s much more complicated than that. Even so, it seems that Victoria has never suffered any consequences of her mother’s guilt and manipulation until now. Unlike the other two, Victoria set herself up for this. What gets me is that she got her fiancé to ask for his permission, then proceeded to completely ignore her biological father once she got him to pay. Conniving.”
Do you think Victoria intentionally used OP for his money? What should OP do?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Pay For His Estranged Daughter’s Wedding After Finding Out She Chose Her Stepdad to Walk Her Down the Aisle. She’s Just Using Him for Money! on Quote Ambition.
