This Redditor lived a real-life nightmare with his mom. Now that he’s a financially capable adult, he refuses to give a cent to help his toxic mother out!
The Beginning of His Nightmare
Shortly after OP’s (Original Poster) fifth birthday, his dad found out that he was not his biological son. The moment he learned this, he immediately threw OP and his mom out of his life.
It hurt him tremendously, but as a 27-year-old man, he now understands that he can’t really blame him. He wrote, “It would be a nightmare to raise someone who was a constant reminder of your wife cheating.”
A Complete Change
Then, in the blink of an eye, OP and his mom moved from a “mansion” to a “very small” apartment. Since then, his life has been “absolutely lonely and horrible.”
To make matters worse, OP’s mom seemed to have lost all the love she had for him. He added, “She and my half-siblings constantly blame me for being the reason for the divorce and have hated me since.”
Wishes or Curses?
OP was also told by his mom and other relatives that all they wished was that OP died. They also constantly said he should have never been born.
He said, “I try not to let my half-siblings’ words get to me since they were kids as well, but it still hurts to this date.”
Another Cinderella Story
Then, when OP was 10, his mom married his stepdad. He had kids—OP’s stepsiblings—but sadly, they all made it very clear that they didn’t like OP.
He wasn’t treated equally, either. He was given the smallest room, no new clothes or things, and was constantly ignored if he wasn’t being bullied by his family.
Odd One Out
OP never felt like he was a part of his mom’s new family. Sadly, he didn’t feel part of his half-siblings’ family, either.
He wrote, “Both my stepfamily and half-siblings went on great and fantastic trips and were given all the latest gadgets and everything as well while I was left behind.”
All Alone
Things got so bad that no one from his family had wished him a “happy birthday” since he was eight. At this point, OP also didn’t have friends at school.
Perhaps it was because of his upbringing, but OP was always that “quiet” kid who became “isolated” and “left out” of everything.
Changing the Trajectory of His Life
However, OP didn’t let his nightmare from the past stop him from achieving great things. He managed to get a full-ride scholarship to his dream school and is now financially “quite secure.”
He also has some good friends and a fantastic fiancé with whom he has a three-year-old son. OP’s fiancé’s family also took him in as one of their own.
Full Support
Additionally, OP’s fiancé managed to convince him to go to therapy. After some time, he agreed, and now he’s grateful for her suggestion because he’s doing “great in life” and has been able to “move past everything.”
Sadly, soon enough, his past caught up to him.
Mom’s Requests
A few days before OP posted this story, his mom reached out to him, saying she needed monetary help. She explained that she had cancer, but OP “firmly but politely” refused.
Limiting Contact
He told her that while he “sympathized” with her situation, it was not his responsibility to help her out. OP also told his mom that she “should lose his number” and “never call him again.”
On the Hunt for Cash
Since then, OP’s mom, stepfamily, and half-siblings have been hounding him for money. They told him he shouldn’t refuse to help their mom.
But he said, “My response was pretty much the same, and I have blocked them as well.”
Complicated Conversations
Then, the day before this story was posted, OP’s mom called him using a friend’s phone, this time “ordering him” to pay because she “sacrificed so much” for OP.
However, OP wouldn’t have it and replied, “You never sacrificed anything; you gave away everything you had cause you just couldn’t keep your legs closed.” Then, he hung up on her!
Blocking the Negativity
OP has since blocked her and everyone else. But he’s still receiving messages where he’s called an “a**hole” from new numbers, which he always blocks.
He added, “Now, occasionally, I feel quite guilty. What my mother did was horrible, yes, but no one deserves to die for such things. So, Reddit, am I the a**hole for refusing to pay my mother’s hospital bill even though it may lead to her death?”
Redditors’ Pieces of Advice
Users flocked to the comments section to let OP know that he did not owe anything to people who abused him, even if his mom was one of those people.
A top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. You don’t owe anything to your abusers. And everyone has to die eventually. It is no coincidence that they’re trying to get back into your life at this precise moment when they need money, and you have it. Please continue to enjoy the wonderful life you have built for yourself and leave these people behind.”
“These are the same people who cry, ‘But we are family!’ Why can’t the rest of the half-siblings and stepsiblings scrape up money together instead of dumping it on one person? For real, though, OP needs to keep their head up and these people out of their lives. Not the a**hole,” commented another Redditor.
They’re Just Users!
People also reminded him that his family drove him out years ago. Now, they only want him back because he had money.
A woman said, “OP, please tell them this. They wanted you out of their family, so they can’t force you back in when they need money.”
“Why does everyone think the term, ‘but we are family,’ automatically means you have to forgive and forget? No one thought of that when they were treating you horribly, so that reasoning to me goes right out the window! You have a family now—one that loves you and treats you with the love and respect you deserve. They didn’t help you become the successful person you have become; therefore, to me, they don’t deserve to reap any of those benefits either,” said another user.
Keep Them Out!
Redditors were also furious at how OP’s been treated. They wanted OP to remain faithful to his stance and never give in to their demands.
One user wrote, “OP, your mom blamed you for her mistakes, and so do your half-siblings. Your stepfamily hates you for no valid reason, and they discarded you as early as eight years old. Only monsters treat kids like this. They have established that they were monsters and didn’t want you. They have made their bed. Now they can lie in it. They made it very clear early on that they wouldn’t give you anything, now they can’t expect you to do anything for them. Also, even if you’re doing well in life, lots of people doing well in life still live paycheck to paycheck, so just assuming you have money saved is dumb. And if they expect you to take on debts, well, I think they really don’t understand how they treated you.”
The same person added, “Your choice is absolutely reasonable and justified, but even things that are justified can make you feel like s***. The important bit is whether you can live with that choice or not. It’s all about taking care of yourself now. I’m sorry for your mother, but you’re definitely not the a**hole here. If there’s any a**hole here, it would be them and the healthcare system that doesn’t pay for it. Also, you might want to change your phone number. Otherwise, you’ll most likely keep receiving those text messages for quite a while, and this kind of stuff can take a real toll on your mental health!”
What advice would you give OP? Do you think he should provide his mom with financial support?
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This post first appeared as He Refused to Pay For His Toxic Mother’s Hospital Bills, Although It May Lead To Her Death. It’s Not His Responsibility, but He’s Being Hounded for Money and Called a “Jerk!” on Quote Ambition.
