OP (Original Poster) needed advice after he decided to spend the money meant for his kids’ inheritance. They won’t care for him when he’s sick and old, so why should he allow himself to suffer?
His Three Kids
OP has three kids: Veronica, who is 23 years old; Monica, who is 30 years old; and Jason, who is 25 years old.
He said he’d always had a good relationship with them, albeit they’ve been a bit distant ever since his wife passed away.
A Hefty Inheritance
His parents passed away a couple of years ago, leaving him with a hefty inheritance. However, the inheritance was not only a product of OP’s work; it was money that had been in his family for decades.
He shared, “So it is expected of me to try and save as much of the inheritance for my children and so on.”
A Glimpse Into His Culture
In OP’s culture, children are supposed to care for their parents in their old age. He shared that both his parents suffered from illnesses that required 24/7 care at the end of their life.
Because it was hereditary, OP said he would most likely suffer from them when he got older.
A few months before this story was posted, OP made an offhand comment about going to the doctor for his annual checkup. He said, “My health has not been so great.”
During this conversation, OP made a joking comment. He said, “Has anyone talked about who I will live with when I’m old and wrinkly?”
However, he said he hadn’t planned to live with any of his kids yet.
The joke he said months ago didn’t sit well with his kids. Two months before this story was posted, they informed OP that they had decided they would not take care of him when he was old.
OP wrote, “They told me that they have to first look out for their family, the cost of living is rising, etc.” He was hurt by what his kids decided to do.
Planning for the Future
Because of that, OP decided that he had to plan for his old age. So, he started moving a lot of the funds from the inheritance to his savings account.
He also planned to go on trips he wanted to go on while he was still a bit young and healthy. OP said, “I plan to pay for this with the inheritance.”
Trip to Mexico
One day, OP told Monica that he would be going to Mexico. She then asked him how he planned to pay for the trip.
OP wrote, “I then told her I’m planning to use the inheritance from now on to pay for trips, accommodations, food, etc.”
Upon hearing her dad’s plans, Monica got mad and called OP “selfish.” She also accused him of “punishing” them for not following tradition.
Monica told the rest of her siblings about OP’s plan. In turn, they called OP and told him that if he used their future inheritance to live a “lavish life,” he’d be “robbing” them of the money their grandparents promised them.
Broken Family Ties
Now, everything’s a mess for OP. All his kids are mad at him.
He wrote, “They are all very mad at me and refuse to talk to me to get to an agreement.”
Insights From Redditors
For the community, OP needed to live his life to the fullest.
One recommended, “I was all set to say you’re the a**hole when he started going on about the tradition of the kids taking care of their parents. But then he said that none of them were willing to do that, so my mind changed to not the a**hole, but maybe leave them a little. Then they all got p***** he was planning one trip. Oh, hell no, OP, go wild, live your life, and enjoy it. Your kids are acting like gold diggers, and gold diggers don’t deserve inheritance, in my opinion.”
I Wouldn’t Trust Them Anymore
Some also noted how OP shouldn’t accept his kids’ offer, should any of them suddenly volunteer to care for him now that money’s involved in the conversation.
“If I were OP and any of the kids only now decided to change their mind and offered to care for me in my old age, I wouldn’t accept. I wouldn’t trust them any more than I’d trust an old age home company to not cut costs on my care to increase their own profit. I’d just choose the company; at least it won’t be my own children that deny me care and dignity in death, and at least I got to enjoy my last usable years doing the things I’ve always wanted to do and enjoy,” wrote one Redditor.
Take Care of Yourself
For some, the solution is simple. If OP would be the one caring for himself, then he should keep the money.
A Redditor said, “Sounds like the tradition is that the money goes to whoever is taking care of the parents. If he’s taking care of himself, then the money should go to him. Simple enough.”
It’s Rightfully Yours
The community also reminded OP that the money was rightfully his. He received it from his parents; it wasn’t his kids’ money yet.
One said, “Even without that tradition, I don’t see using the money your parents left you for yourself as making him an a**hole. After all, if every generation just passes the money on to the next, who actually gets to use it?”
What do you think of this issue? Do you think OP’s right to spend the inheritance how he wants to?
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This post first appeared as He Started Squandering the Money Meant for His Kids’ Inheritance Because None of Them Would Care For Him When He’s Older. Now He’s Accused of Stealing Their Fortune! on Quote Ambition.