Instead of having a happy ever after, this Redditor just wants to be excluded from everything his wife enjoys. To make matters worse, he wants to be paid for caring for their daughter!
What a Nice Neighborhood
OP (Original Poster) is 39, while his wife is 34. They also have a 10-year-old daughter, Emily. They lived in a suburban house, and his family had been living in this neighborhood for a little more than two years.
They also had a 48-year-old neighbor, Walter. He’s a single dad with two daughters: one 14 and the other 12.
His Wife’s Quirks
His wife enjoyed watching scary movies, but OP never liked them. He said he gets too scared and has a bad time, so he avoids watching these movies with his wife.
While she had some friends who would accompany her to watch the more popular ones, his wife prefers the “older, indie, and foreign” horror movies.
People With the Same Interests
Because of this, OP’s wife always had difficulty finding someone who would enjoy the same things she did. So, it was “such a big deal” when he and his wife met Walter.
They found out he also shared the same interests as his wife, and they very quickly started to make plans to watch movies together. OP said, “I was invited to be a part of this but refused.”
Babysitting the Kids
OP said he preferred to stay at home and “babysit” Emily and Walter’s daughters while they are in their “cinephile reunions.”
Their Usual Agenda
OP shared that Walter and his wife would sometimes go to movie theaters; at times, they would stay at Walter’s place because he had a home cinema.
However, they usually had to go into another town to catch a specific function of “some weird movie,” so it was “normal for them to come back very late.”
Exploring Other Activities
Soon, Walter and OP’s wife ventured out to do something more than watch movies—like going out for dinner.
OP wrote, “Walter invited all of us, including the kids, to go with him to a restaurant that a friend of his owned, but I said no because it was too expensive.”
It’s a Waste of Money
OP mentioned that he didn’t like “those kinds of places” because he felt it was “a waste of money” and the kids wouldn’t enjoy the meal.
So, he insisted on staying with the kids and let the two of them go by themselves.
A Regular Thing
The fancy dinners between Walter and OP’s wife soon became a regular thing. But OP said that it was a “good deal for him” because Walter pays for his wife’s dinners, and she can “no longer complain” about OP not taking her to fancy restaurants.
His Burdens
As their dinner and movie nights became more frequent, OP said he had grown tired of the burden of babysitting the girls. So, he talked to his wife and Walter about it.
Walter didn’t feel comfortable leaving his kids to strangers or teenage girls and said he preferred that OP, who was an experienced father, continue watching them. He agreed that it was too much of a load for him and offered to pay him a “standard babysitter fee” every time he and OP’s wife went out.
Cause of Arguments
Surprisingly, OP agreed and thought it was a “fair approach.” However, OP’s wife was entirely against the idea.
He said, “She says I should not be paid for babysitting my own daughter nor the daughters of a close friend of our family like Walter.”
Don’t You Dare!
OP and his wife had been arguing about this, but she insisted on her stance and was not open to any compromises.
OP wrote, “She even gets mad every time I talk to her about this. Walter promised me he would convince her, but he does not seem to have been able to do so either.”
The Community’s Thoughts
For Redditors, OP was the a**hole through and through.
One said, “To clarify, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite s** who shares a hobby. The issue is OP is refusing to participate in any aspect of his wife’s interests or fill her romantic needs, letting Walter fill the whole a** vacuum of his neglect: won’t compromise and join them on any of the movies, even infrequently, won’t take his wife to a nice dinner because he thinks treating his wife to something nice occasionally is a ‘waste of money,’ insists on staying home when invited to join in non-scary movie activities, then whines about ‘babysitting,’ doesn’t suggest any alternate group activities they all might enjoy. So, judging by the content of this post, he’s just encouraging his wife to go to Walter for all her emotional and social needs. No way that could ever backfire.”
A Whole Bunch of Issues
People don’t know what to think of the whole issue, as they can’t wrap their heads around what OP was thinking.
A top commenter wrote, “You’re the a**hole for several reasons, two of which are calling taking care of your own kid ‘babysitting’ and not really caring about your marriage. Don’t be surprised if your wife ends up leaving you for Walter—if they’re not already having an affair.”
Another shared, “I’m sorry, OP, but it looks like your wife has a new husband. And somehow, you’re the babysitter. I kept reading, thinking this must be a joke. You’re the a**hole for asking for babysitting money. But this whole situation is so bizarre. I think you need to figure out if you want to be married and if she does. Because right now, it doesn’t seem like you are.”
You’re Not Acting Like Her Husband
People also pointed out that OP’s wrong for being indifferent toward his wife’s needs and pushing her toward Walter.
“It seems like he doesn’t want to date his wife anymore and is pushing that portion of his relationship off to a guy who buys her fancy dinners and takes her to things she wants to go to and who tries to invite their kids along as well. Eventually, you have to figure this will all make his wife realize what he isn’t giving her,” wrote one Redditor.
Why Would You Even Call It “Babysitting?”
Aside from those who already pointed out OP’s mistake of saying he was “babysitting” his own kid, some users wanted to zoom in on it and really call him out for it.
One Redditor said, “It’s not babysitting if it’s your own kid, either. Guy wants to be paid to parent while someone else meets his wife’s needs. The fact he calls it babysitting makes me think he leaves the lion’s share of child-rearing to his wife. I really hope this post is fake. I feel bad for the wife and child he clearly has no interest in spending time with.”
What do you think of OP’s actions? Do you think he deserved to stay in this marriage with his wife and daughter?
More From Quote Ambition
OP (Original Poster) suddenly became $8,000,000 richer when her estranged grandpa left her all his fortune. But now her family wants a piece of the money. What should she do?
His Son Banned Them From the Wedding After His In-Laws Thought He’s the House Owner and Said They “Weren’t Good Enough.” He’s Furious, Kicked Them Out, and Sold the House!
This Redditor is a dad who tried to provide his kids with everything they could ever need. So, when their son suddenly shunned them and uninvited them from his wedding, he blew up!
He Refused to Take a DNA Test Because It Meant Losing the $500,000 House He Inherited. He Feels His So-Called Uncle Was Trying to Scam Him, and He Was Right!
This Redditor refuses to believe his grandfather cheated on his grandmother. So, when a stranger approached him claiming to be his uncle, he declined and just saved himself from being scammed!
She Went Behind Her Relatives’ Backs and Got a DNA Test to Prove She Was Her Grandfather’s Biological Granddaughter. Now She’s Set to Inherit $4,200,000 While They Only Get $5,000!
The only way to get their hands on OP’s (Original Poster) grandfather’s immense fortune is to get a DNA test. It’s easy enough, so why are they all refusing to take one?
He Refused to Fund His Son’s $150,000 Wedding After His Fiancé Declined His Request to Invite 8 Out of Their 400 Guests. She’s “Entitled” and Doesn’t Deserve a Free Ride!
This Redditor was ready to spend $150,000 for his son’s wedding, and his conditions weren’t hard to follow. However, his future daughter-in-law refused to bend, even for people important to him!
This post first appeared as He Wants to Be Paid for “Babysitting” His Own Daughter While His Neighbor Is Taking Out His Wife to Fancy Dinners and Movies. How Wrong Could This Situation Be? on Quote Ambition.
