This user saw red and was speechless when he found out his daughter was pregnant and had already given birth. She’s been living with him, and he can’t grasp the fact that he didn’t know!
Daughter’s Complicated Life
OP (Original Poster) has a 20-year-old daughter who lives with him. She has a 20-year-old boyfriend, Gary, who also lives with his parents.
Unfortunately, she lost her job because of the pandemic and has “felt too sad” to look for a new one.
What a Lazy Boy
Gary also wasn’t working when OP posted this story, and he isn’t sure if he was able to ever hold down a job.
OP wrote, “Mostly, he just sits around my house playing Xbox and eating my food.”
For His Little Girl
Because of this, OP has never been Gary’s biggest fan. However, since his daughter loves him, he does his best to “tolerate” him and remain polite whenever they interact.
A Frantic Dad
Then, around a month before OP posted this story, his daughter suddenly went missing for a little over three days. He explained that she’d sometimes go out for a “fair bit” without telling him, but it was a lot longer than usual this time.
Searching High and Low
Worried, OP started calling his ex-wife, his daughter’s mom. He also reached out to Gary and all of his daughter’s friends that he could think of.
Then, eventually, Gary responded with a picture of a baby. Coupled with the photo is a message saying, “Say hello to your grandson!”
Out of the Blue
OP was left speechless by what was happening.
He wrote, “She had never even told my ex-wife or me that she was pregnant. For context, she’s a bigger girl and has put on a couple of extra kilos over the last couple of months. While it seems obvious now in retrospect, at the time, it just seemed like normal weight gain.”
Ambushed by His Own Daughter
Then, the next day, while OP was at work, his daughter and Gary brought the baby back to his house. When he got home, he immediately confronted her and asked her why she wouldn’t tell him something as big as this.
Manipulation Coming to Light
OP’s daughter explained that she hid her pregnancy because she wanted Gary to move in with them.
OP explained, “She knew if she’d asked before the baby was born, I would have said no, and that she and Gary need to get themselves sorted, both get jobs, and find their own place to live before the baby comes. She’s probably not wrong.”
Deeply Rooted Schemes
She thought if she waited until her baby was born, the OP would “have to” say yes to Gary moving in.
She said, “What kind of monster would keep their grandson from living with their father?”
OP saw red with his daughter’s reasoning, to the point that he yelled at her—just days after she had given birth! He told her that it was an “incredibly manipulative” thing for her to do, and he was “too angry” to give her an answer about Gary.
He added, “I told her I needed time to process and think and asked her not to talk to me for a little while.”
Hurt, OP’s daughter immediately called her mom in tears. After this, OP’s ex-wife called him, accusing him of being “cold.”
She also told OP that he was “ruining” what should have been an “exciting and magical” time for her, their daughter, Gary, and himself.
Then, she took it a step further, saying that he’d look back on this situation in the future and “feel terrible” that he spent the first days of his firstborn grandchild’s life “making everyone upset.”
She put OP on the spot for being angry at his daughter and her boyfriend and “stalling their plans” to live together with the baby.
Easy for You to Say
However, it was easy for OP’s ex-wife to say this because their daughter wasn’t living with her, and she wasn’t manipulated like OP.
In one of the comments, OP wrote, “Unfortunately, my daughter doesn’t get on well with her stepfather. I guess he’s less of a pushover than I am.”
Should He Stand His Ground?
Even with his wife’s nasty comments, OP believes his anger is justified, especially since his daughter and her boyfriend intentionally tried to manipulate him by using the baby.
But he also added, “Everyone around me seems to think I don’t have a valid reason for being bothered in the first place and that I need to get over it, move on, and let them live together. Am I the a**hole?”
The Community’s Reactions
Most users couldn’t believe how blatantly OP’s daughter admitted to her manipulation.
A top commenter said, “Wow. Just wow. It’s not often people admit their manipulation right to your face like that. Wait until you find out they were trying for the baby, and it wasn’t an accident because I’d bet money that’s coming. Can they move in with Mom? Sounds like she’s just itching to have them. Or move into Gary’s parents’ house? Not the a**hole. Having that news all dropped on you at once is huge.”
Another said, “Not the a**hole. I think anybody would be p***** for the manipulation and the entitlement. Ask Gary to get a job. Do not allow him to live in your house, but he can visit the baby. Do not babysit under any circumstances. She made her bed, and now she has to lay on it. In fact, ask the people who are castigating you whether they would let the family stay in their house since both the parents are not working; it does not matter where they stay. Let them put their mouth where their money is.”
So, So Entitled!
Others are furious that OP’s daughter and Gary had nine months to prepare for the baby, yet they did nothing. Neither even went out to find a job!
A Redditor wrote, “They had nine months to prepare for this day. The fact he hasn’t bothered to get any sort of job in that time period is unforgivable. Do they even have a car seat to bring the child home in and a few basic sets of clothes and a box of nappies?”
Another commented, “Which is insane because she was pregnant for nine months and had no desire to find a job! Just loafing around playing Xbox like—-what? Doesn’t he have any sense of pride or worth?”
What do you have to say? What would you do if you were in OP’s shoes?
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This post first appeared as He Yelled at His Daughter Days After She Gave Birth Because She Intentionally Hid Her Pregnancy to “Manipulate” Him Into Letting Her Boyfriend Move In. Was He a “Cold” Jerk? on Quote Ambition.