Her brother’s wedding is caught up in a web of complicated family matters. But despite the bride uninviting her, she’s 100% adamant about being present for her brother’s big day!
A Reminder of Her Past
OP’s (Original Poster) brother married Maggie, her ex-boyfriend’s sister, in 2019, before the COVID-19 pandemic. The couple met because OP and Maggie’s brother were in a relationship for quite a while.
The Affair That Ended Them
OP and Maggie’s brother dated for three years and broke up in 2018 after he cheated. Currently, as OP posted this story, her ex is engaged to the woman he had an affair with.
She admitted, “Obviously, I was hurt at first, but neither of us was happy, and this was a chance to get out. I had no contact with my ex, never spoke to the other woman, and minded my own business.”
No Use in Holding on to Grudges
Despite that, OP never treated Maggie differently just because she’s her ex-boyfriend’s sister. To OP, she is just her brother’s partner, and OP has always acted like a friend to her.
A Certified Bridezilla
However, as the couple was planning the wedding, OP realized that Maggie was definitely a “bridezilla.” After the engagement, Maggie took over the wedding planning and made all the decisions.
The only thing OP’s brother chose were the suits for himself and the groomsmen, but even then, everything had to be a Maggie-approved style and color.
One day, Maggie sat OP down and told her that she “didn’t want any family drama on her wedding day.” Apparently, Maggie spoke to her brother, and he said he’d feel “uncomfortable” if he had to be around OP at the wedding, especially since his fiancé would also be there.
OP wrote, “This surprised me because, like I say, I didn’t talk to him and was genuinely over it.”
A Spineless Brother
OP reassured Maggie that she didn’t need to worry. But Maggie had already made up her mind and told her that she had made the “tough decision” to uninvite her, hoping she would understand that it was her day and she just wanted it to be happy.
She wrote, “Excuse me? It’s my brother’s day, too, and I want to see him get married! I called my brother afterward. He was aware of Maggie’s choice, and he wanted me to be there, but he didn’t want to upset Maggie by saying no to her. I love him, but he has the backbone of a slug and rarely stands up for himself.”
What a Stubborn Sister-In-Law-To-Be!
With that news, OP’s parents were furious. They thought Maggie was being utterly “unreasonable” because they knew well enough that OP wouldn’t make a fuss about her ex-boyfriend.
OP’s parents even talked to Maggie, but she wouldn’t budge. For Maggie, since it’s “not their wedding, it’s not their choice.”
The Uninvited’s Attendance
Furious, OP ignored Maggie’s request and attended the wedding with her parents anyway.
It was a “lovely ceremony,” but since she wasn’t on the guest list, there wasn’t a wedding meal for her. Instead, she had to grab dinner from a cafe before returning to the reception.
Worth the Trespass
She had a great time at the wedding—dancing with her brother, drinking, and enjoying herself. Not once did she acknowledge her ex-boyfriend and his fiancé.
OP wrote, “I didn’t need to! I was there for my brother. He told me he was so happy I’d attended, and it wouldn’t have been the same without his little sister.”
Their Piercing Stares
Even though Maggie didn’t kick her out, she did give OP dirty looks the whole time. Aside from this, OP could see her whispering to people, who would also give OP dirty looks afterward.
After her wedding day, Maggie blew up at OP for “undermining” her and “ruining” her wedding. Although Maggie felt that way, OP noted nothing terrible happened during the ceremony.
She wrote, “She just didn’t enjoy it because she spent it feeling angry.”
It’s Not All About Her
OP is aware that it’s wrong to crash a wedding. However, at the same time, she felt she had a right to attend since it was her brother’s wedding, too, and he wanted her to be there.
So, now, she wants help from the community to help her realize if what she did was an “a**hole” move or not.
Redditors said that OP’s brother and Maggie were the ones in the wrong. Maggie’s a jerk for her whole personality and how she treated OP, and on the flip side, her brother’s a jerk for not having the courage to stand up for her.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole, but I’m sorry to say, your brother is. Having a slug’s internal structure is an okay excuse for some transgressions. This is not one of them. Maggie is beyond an a**hole. She broke the scale here.”
Another person said, “Not the a**hole. But beware—Maggie is going to ruin your family. Her disrespectful behavior goes way beyond ‘being a bridezilla.’ That’s controlling, selfish, and unreasonable, and your brother is clearly a jellyfish for letting her get away with it. Wait until they bring a child into this world. She’ll use the kid as a pawn, just as she did this bulls*** wedding invitation.”
Each One of You Is Wrong!
For others, OP may not be that big of a jerk in the story, but she was still wrong for attending the wedding she wasn’t invited to. More than that, every person she mentioned did something that wasn’t plausible.
“Everyone sucks here. Maggie more, because she should have invited you. But both Maggie and your brother agreed not to invite you, and you don’t actually have a right to be at a wedding you haven’t been invited to. Your brother is now married to this woman, and you can’t always override their decisions in the hope that it’s what he secretly wants you to do,” a Redditor commented.
Another commenter wrote, “Everyone sucks here. It’s super petty that she uninvited you out of fear of causing drama, but I mean, you did then crash the wedding, which we can probably classify as causing drama. The decision to uninvite you ultimately came from them both. I’m sorry, but if your brother is willing to just uninvite you to please his bride, that’s his decision. Yes, they suck a lot, but why did you really think you were entitled to attend a wedding you weren’t invited to?”
Should OP have not crashed her brother’s wedding? Do you think she should have acted differently?
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This post first appeared as Her Brother’s Bridezilla Fiancé Banned Her From the Wedding, Saying She Wanted to “Avoid Drama,” but She “Undermined” Her and Gatecrashed Their Big Day. Now She’s Accused of “Ruining” Everything! on Quote Ambition.