This user was stoked about her cousin’s upcoming nuptials and had already had her gift delivered. However, she soon realized she wasn’t welcome, and the bride just wanted her gift! What should she do?
Cousin’s Upcoming Nuptials
OP is 20 and engaged, while her cousin, Isabella, is 26 and will be getting married a few months after this story was posted.
Isabella and her fiancé had a gift registry where OP chose the gift she’ll get the couple. She chose a set of Royal Albert plates out of the options, and they’d already been delivered.
The Wedding Invitation
The wedding was divided into the ceremony, dinner, and reception.
In the invite that OP received, it says the ceremony would come first and be followed immediately by meals. After that, guests would start making their way to the reception hall.
Dance the Night Away
The invitation particularly zoomed in on the reception. It says, “Be prepared for a night of drinking and dancing at the reception.”
For a person in her early 20s, this was sure to be the most exciting part of the wedding.
Small Talk Between Cousins
Unfortunately, her excitement didn’t last long. A few days before OP posted this story, she received a call from Isabelle.
At first, it was all about small talk. However, Isabelle then told her that she wanted to “confirm” if OP knew that the reception was “more for partying.”
There’s No Place for You There
Isabelle told OP that the reception “isn’t really suitable” for her since she wasn’t 21 yet. However, OP clarified that she would be okay with just drinking water and soda.
Soon, the real reason for the call came to light, and Isabelle told her that the capacity for the reception hall is “smaller,” and because of that, they’re “not including younger guests.” OP wrote, “Mind you, this is a child-free wedding, so there aren’t really any ‘younger’ guests. I get not wanting to have kids around for the reception.”
That’s Not What the Invitation Said!
Her cousin wouldn’t drop it, saying she was still invited to the ceremony and the dinner—just not the reception. OP was confused and told Isabelle, “This is really weird,” because the invitation said she was also invited to the reception.
OP wrote, “She replied she’s sorry for the misunderstanding, but it said there would be drinking and stuff.”
Have It Your Way
Eventually, OP grew tired of the conversation and just agreed with Isabelle. She said she respected her decision, but she should send the plates back so OP could get a refund.
Now it was Isabelle’s turn to get confused, so she asked OP why she was doing so. After all, she would still be there “for the most important part,” and she was also included in the catering.
I Don’t Do Things Half-Baked
OP, however, was already offended by what her cousin told her. She said, “I was expecting to attend the entire wedding, not half, and I bought the gift based on that.”
She also told her that she was considering not attending the wedding at all, so she needed to return the gifts so OP could think of another “suitable gift, if any.”
Well, That’s Just Rude!
Isabelle started getting worked up. She told OP that “no one takes gifts back.”
OP’s cousin also said that she wasn’t uninvited. For her, if OP didn’t want to attend the wedding, then it was “on her,” and she couldn’t take the gift back since it was already given to them.
You’re Making a Scene!
OP’s younger cousin, Isabelle’s sister, sent her an angry text saying she was “making a scene.” OP noted that she’s 19 but would also be going to the reception, so Isabelle’s decision wasn’t fair.
She added, “I know another cousin the same age as me is attending the reception, and I think Isabelle’s talked to other relatives about it.”
Do You Have a Gift Already?
She also asked her mom if they’d already picked out a gift for Isabelle. If not, perhaps they could take OP’s gift as their gift for the couple instead.
They’re Also Banned
After learning about what happened between OP and Isabelle, her mom said she was also called up by Isabelle, saying they were welcome to the ceremony and dinner but not the reception.
Apparently, Isabelle told her that the reception was “more for friends and partying.” OP was appalled, as she knew age wasn’t the reason she was uninvited; she wrote, “My parents are definitely above 21, and they also had ceremony and reception on their invitation.”
Time to Rethink Things
OP’s parents were planning on giving the couple money, so it was a possibility that they could just take OP’s gift as their gift.
But OP added, “They think it was really rude of Isabelle to invite then uninvite, and they might attend the ceremony, but not sure.”
Questions, Questions, Questions
Now OP’s confused. She doesn’t understand why Isabelle couldn’t have just stated that they were only included in the ceremony and the dinner; mentioning the reception and then uninviting them was just off!
OP’s other relatives, like her cousins, seemed to have sided with Isabelle. But she said, “My fiancé thinks I’m okay though. So was I the a**hole asking to return the plates?”
Redditors’ Opinions on the Matter
For Redditors, OP had the right to take the gift back. It wasn’t the best move, but Isabelle’s choice to suddenly uninvite her wasn’t either, so she deserved it!
“Not the a**hole. You were uninvited. Of course, you’re free to request your gift back. Classy? Probably not, but that’s not the bride’s theme anyways,” said one commenter.
Another wrote, “The bride uninvited her from the reception, so OP uninvited her as a gift-receiver. And her reason was also so ‘meh.’ What about adults that don’t drink? Does she throw people from the reception that aren’t at least intoxicated after one hour?”
She’s So Rude!
Some users also advised OP on what to do with the gift she had already purchased.
One user suggested, “It’s a lack of class. Sounds like the bride invited everyone she knew to the ceremony for the gifts. OP, you aren’t getting those plates back, so tell your parents to keep their money. And if your cousin has the audacity to mention them not bringing a separate gift, I’d tell her that your parents gave you half the cost of the plates for the half invitations you all received.”
“Petty-me says OP and her parents should make sure to let the bride-to-be know they will attend. And then skip the whole thing so that the bride is charged for the catering on all of them. She wants to keep those plates? Let her pay for them, one way or another,” said one woman.
What do you think of Isabelle’s sudden change of heart? Do you think OP was right to take back her gift?
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This post first appeared as Her Cousin Said She Wasn’t Invited to Her Wedding Reception Because “Younger” Guests Are Banned. She Took Her Gift Back and Didn’t Attend at All. Now the Bride’s Furious! on Quote Ambition.