OP (Original Poster) wants to know if she was wrong for giving her family the silent treatment after they shunned her for telling them she has cancer!
Devastating News
OP is a 21-year-old who recently found out she has cancer. She said in her post that after having a history of weird symptoms, she got diagnosed with cancer a month before this story was posted.
Sadly, her doctor explained that the people who had the same kind of cancer as she did had only more or less a 40% chance of living in the next 5 years.
Coming to Terms With Death
Being very young, OP was understandably devastated by the news. She said, “I was inconsolable for a few days and stayed home and cried.”
Her boyfriend was very understanding and was trying to console her while she was trying to come to terms with the fact that she might not be alive in the near future. She also said that she was seeing a counselor.
Breaking the News to Family
OP shared that she lived two hours away from her immediate family, and her boyfriend drove her to their town. She told her family she had important news and needed to give the information in person.
She said, “It wasn’t easy, but I explained to them that I have cancer and my odds of surviving with the treatment.” Upon breaking the news, however, her family was silent and had blank looks on their faces.
Ignoring Her
Everyone was silent for a few minutes, then her older brother’s wife suddenly announced she was pregnant. Unlike their reaction to her news, everyone immediately congratulated her sister-in-law.
They then immediately began a conversation about babies and acted as if she had never shared her news.
Too Stunned to React
OP and her boyfriend were shocked by her family’s response—or lack thereof. So, they got up and left.
Her True Feelings
Later, OP sent a message to her family group chat, saying that how everyone reacted to her news versus her sister-in-law’s news made her feel uncared about.
She then shared her brother’s response in the post, saying, “My older brother responded and said that I’m not the only one affected by my news and that I should understand that everyone else felt awkward and didn’t know what to say.”
Trying to Lighten the Mood?
OP then told her brother that she felt her sister-in-law owed her an apology for somewhat overshadowing her heartbreaking news. Then, her sister-in-law said what she did was weird, but she thinks she doesn’t need to apologize.
For her, she was only “trying to lighten the mood.”
Silent Treatment
Her sister-in-law was unapologetic about it, and it seemed everyone in her was taking her side, so OP had been giving them the silent treatment ever since.
Guilt-Tripping?
Aside from taking her sister-in-law’s side, OP said that her family told her she was “being selfish” and was “guilt-tripping them” into getting her way.
Mean Words
They didn’t stop there. They even told OP that her having cancer doesn’t mean she will be “treated like royalty.”
As if to add salt to the wound, her older brother said OP acted like a “typical youngest sibling.”
Did I Hurt My Family?
Now, OP feels guilty for the silent treatment she gave her family. She thinks she might have overreacted, causing her to hurt her family.
What Redditors Think of the Issue
For Redditors, there is no way that OP acted out of line in this scenario. A top commenter even suggested how she can tell her family what she truly feels.
She told OP to try something like, “I came to you for love and support about the fact that this cancer may kill me in the next few years. Instead, there was silence and then a pregnancy announcement. There were no hugs, no encouragement, no love. This isn’t about being the youngest child. This was about family.”
Make Them See How Wrong They Are
People are also telling OP to send her family a link to this Reddit thread so they can see how much of an a**hole they are being.
A Redditor shared, “And then if you feel up to it, send them a link to this thread so they can all see what I’m sure will be thousands of people saying that they are all total a**holes. I got more care and sympathy when there was a chance that I had breast cancer than they gave you. Not the a**hole. I hope that you’ll defy the odds!”
Bare Minimum
Some Redditors were enraged by the kind of reaction OP’s family had.
One person said, “I mean, f**k. They didn’t even say, ‘I’m sorry you have such terrible news. We love you. What can we do to support you?’ That is the bare minimum under these circumstances. I’m so sorry. Both that you have this diagnosis, which I hope you beat, and that you have a horrible family. Seriously, f**k them.”
What Would You Do?
How would you comfort OP? What do you think her family should have done or said?
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This post first appeared as Her Family Called Her “Selfish” After She Told Them She Had Cancer. They Said She Won’t Be “Treated Like Royalty” on Quote Ambition.
