She was shocked and upset upon discovering she wasn’t getting any share from her mother’s house. Why would her mom include her in the will when she barely visited and checked up on her?
OP (Original Poster), 55 years old, has an 83-year-old mother who has been widowed twice. Her mom had three children; two were with OP’s father, and one was with her mom’s second husband.
The Only Successor
J, OP’s youngest sister, who is the daughter of her late stepfather, recently informed OP that she’ll be receiving the entirety of their mom’s house once she passes away.
The Original Plan
As far as OP remembers, J was supposed to get her father’s half of the house and a third of their mother’s half. Even after OP’s stepfather’s death, things remained that way, and OP accepted it a long time ago.
More for J, All for J
The house is valued at around $500,000, so it would have left OP a life-changing sum. However, upon their mom’s passing, J will inherit the entire house and a third of the money their mother had in savings.
The Tiniest Bit
Compared to that, OP and her older sister, A, will only get a third each from the savings, which is around $12,000, and nothing from the house.
In the Market
OP’s mom doesn’t want to sell her house, but J recently did. OP believes she put the idea in her head because she doesn’t have an asset now and would like one.
A doesn’t know about this yet, and OP only knows because J told her when she visited their country and came over from Morocco, where J lives.
OP wrote, “My mother never mentioned it to me. However, she is aware that I know now.”
When Life’s Too Unfair
OP is deeply frustrated and upset by that fact, as J is already extremely wealthy. On the other hand, OP’s never really had so much money, and she was planning to fund her retirement with her share of the inheritance.
She said, “I never even got any of my father’s inheritance as my stepmom ran off with all of his money.”
Apparently, OP’s not the only one upset by the situation, as she confided in one of her sons and two daughters, and all of them think it is “disgusting.” OP’s eldest daughter actually asked OP’s mom why, and she reasoned, “Why should I give my money to people who don’t see me?” even though J lived in Morocco and only visited during Christmas.
I Do My Best
With that, OP believes her mother was referring to the fact that she rarely visited her due to a busy job and because one of her kids is still a child. But even then, OP calls her several times every week, and her mom also visits a lot.
OP shared, “It’s just difficult to get to her house myself as I don’t drive. J only comes at Christmas and, as far as I know, doesn’t call other than to announce things.”
How to Get Verbal
Now, OP is unsure how to express her feelings about the matter to her mom and J, and she also doesn’t know how her mother can do this to her and A.
She said, “My mother just gets nasty towards me when I try to begin to and says I don’t have the right to tell her what to do with her money. Am I in the wrong here? Is it really nothing to do with me?”
What people found “disgusting” is that OP cared more about the money than her mother, and that didn’t help her case at all.
The top commenter wrote, “I don’t know. It seems sort of gross to care more about your mother’s estate than your mother. I don’t think you furthered your cause by complaining to your mother when you admit you don’t make much of an effort to spend time with your mother because you are busy. From the outside looking in, it seems like you’re more concerned with what she’ll leave you after she’s dead than a healthy relationship when she’s alive.”
Not Your Money, Not Your Say
Although OP’s feelings are valid, she has no right to demand anything from her mother because it’s not her money.
A Redditor wrote, “You’re entitled to your feelings but not any of your mother’s money or assets. You’re the a**hole.”
Someone else commented, “You’re the a**hole. Not your house, not your asset to make decisions about. If you have feelings about it, you might respectfully tell your mother how you feel. Just as she apparently has let you know, she would prefer to see you more often and not in the context of you trying to get something from her. Bringing your children into it is turning it all into a nasty family drama when it really isn’t your call to make. You and they are not owed anything.”
Some Redditors warned OP to be careful of her actions and how she treats people in the present, as that might come back to her, maybe even worse.
One person said, “I am not going to comment on your situation, but just a word of caution: how you decide to treat your mother from this point onward will be a learning lesson for your kids on how to treat you when you are older. Plan carefully, and don’t let the financial aspect cloud you from what is really important.”
What can you say about OP’s problem? Was she wrong?
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This post first appeared as Her Mother Cut Her and Her Sibling off of the Will and Made Her Half-Sister the Sole Inheritor of a $500,000 House. She’s Livid She Wasn’t Given a Fair Share! on Quote Ambition.