This Redditor seems to be far from a happily ever after when she faces never-ending contempt from her stepson. She refused to give him her family heirloom, and now he thinks she’s being unfair!
A Happy Family?
OP (Original Poster) has been married to her husband, Bill, for the past 20 years. They have their son, Harry, who is currently 16 years old.
However, OP is also the stepmom of Bill’s two children from his previous marriage, Jim and Paige. Jim is now 31 years old, while Paige is 27.
An Effort to Become Their Confidant
OP mentioned that Jim and Paige’s mom passed away when they were nine and five; then, she met Bill two years after.
She mentioned that when they were starting out, she made it clear to both kids that she would never try to replace their mother. Instead, she wanted to be “a trusted figure whom they could approach if they ever needed.”
Trying to Love Them as Her Own
Having said that, OP still made it a point to make Jim and Paige feel like she loved them as if they were her own kids.
She said, “I would take them to school, pick them up, take them to doctor’s appointments, make their lunches, ask my parents to get them presents for Christmas and birthdays, etc.”
Warming Up to Her
As OP expected, both kids were initially somewhat hostile and cold with her. After all, they had just lost their mom.
However, in time, she felt that Paige was slowly warming up to her; as per OP, it was nice to see Paige seeing her as a confidant and maternal figure. She also said that though Paige didn’t ask her to adopt her, she still called her “mom,” which OP appreciated.
Not the Same for Paige’s Brother
Sadly, unlike Paige, Jim never warmed up to OP; instead, he remained hostile toward her and treated her meanly even though she never treated him poorly.
OP shared that he often made misogynistic comments whenever she instructed him to clean his plate. He would say things like, “It’s your job as the woman to clean the dishes,” or call her a b*tch behind her back.
Not Willing to Make an Effort
Bill often called Jim out for how he behaved. He even tried getting them into family therapy, but Jim always refused.
Moving Out
Upon reaching adulthood, Jim moved out of the house. He remained in contact with Bill, Paige, and Harry but seldom reached out to OP.
Additionally, his temperament toward OP still hasn’t improved, and he continues to treat her badly.
A Family Heirloom
OP then explained that she has a family heirloom—a ring—passed down for many generations. It was passed from the mother to the oldest child in the family.
Her husband got the ring from OP’s mom when he proposed, and she told all three kids about this story before.
Give Me the Family Heirloom!
OP said that one day, Jim called her out of the blue and asked for her engagement ring. However, OP said she wouldn’t give him the ring; Jim then asked her why.
OP shared, “I told him it was because of how he has treated me all these years and how he continues to treat me, and I don’t want my family heirloom going to someone who sees me as vermin.”
Reserved for Her Stepdaughter
Jim didn’t let it go and instead asked OP whom she’d be giving the ring to if not him. OP was honest and said it would be passed on to her stepdaughter, Paige—Jim’s sister.
Playing Favorites
It wasn’t enough of an explanation for Jim, and he blew up in anger. He lost his cool and accused OP of playing favorites!
Snide and Hurtful Remarks
Jim continued spouting hurtful words at OP, so she eventually hung up on him. He was insulting her, and she couldn’t take it anymore, so she blocked his number.
Bill was on OP’s side, but some of Jim’s relatives on his mother’s side were blowing up OP’s phone and telling her she was too mean to Jim.
What the Reddit Community Says
Many think it was even out of line for Jim to expect the family heirloom to go to him when he wasn’t OP’s biological child.
A top commenter said, “You’re not even his biological mom—why does he need your family heirloom if he hasn’t welcomed you into his family? You are giving it to your oldest child, I’m assuming. Not the a**hole; he’s had plenty of time to grow up and treat you like a real person.”
He’s Too Entitled
People stood by OP’s decision and said Jim didn’t deserve the ring. They also said it was great that OP’s husband supported her in her decision.
One said, “Jim is an entitled asshole; Paige deserves that ring. Your stepson’s maternal relatives shouldn’t have any input on where your family ring goes. I’m glad your husband is supporting your decision.”
No Right to the Ring
Redditors also commented on how badly Jim treated OP. They said that if he didn’t treat her as a parent, what right did he have to her family heirloom?
A Redditor shared, “He isn’t obligated to see you as his parental figure, then he isn’t entitled to the family heirlooms. Sounds like you have taken the right approach to being a stepparent, and it’s unfortunate that he had to antagonize you even into his adulthood.”
What Do You Think?
Do you think OP handled things well? How would you say no to someone like Jim?
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This post first appeared as Her Stepson Treated Her Like Trash for 20 Years, so When He Asked Her to Give Him Her Engagement Ring, She Refused and Chose to Pass on the Family Heirloom to His Sister Instead on Quote Ambition.
