This soon-to-be groom tried explaining to his fiancé that friendship is more important than aesthetics. But now their relationship’s on the rocks, and he’s thinking about whether he went too far or not!
Fiancé’s Superiority Complex
OP’s (Original Poster) fiancé, Hannah, is six feet tall. She’s not insecure about her height.
On the contrary, she has a “superiority complex” about it.
A Vast Difference
One of Hannah’s friends, Lexi, is 5’1”, while the rest of their friend group is between 5’4” to 5’8”.
Because of this, Lexi and Hannah would always stand out the most when they take photos together. However, the main issue is that Hannah’s friend group with Lexi is the same friend group that would be her bridesmaids.
I Need Advice
The day before this story was posted, Hannah approached OP and said she was thinking of “demoting” Lexi from the entourage because she was “taking attention away” from her in photos.
Hannah wanted OP to help her make an excuse that “wouldn’t damage her friendship” with Lexi. OP didn’t expect this, so he asked Hannah if she was serious, and she said she was.
The Important Things in Life
Hearing Hannah’s answer, OP explained that “friendship and happiness are more important than aesthetics.” Hannah, unfortunately, refused to listen.
The “Bridezilla” Accusation
OP was getting fed up with how Hannah was handling things.
He said, “Hannah, I love you, but you’re being a bridezilla. Lexi has been your friend for more than a decade, and you want to exclude her for something she not only has no control over but also something so superficial as the way she looks.”
A Possible Solution
OP suggested that Hannah could tell Lexi to wear higher heels. However, completely cutting her out of the wedding party, as she originally planned, was just a “heartless” move.
Setting Things Straight
He then told Hannah it was up to her to decide who she wanted in her entourage. However, if she demoted Lexi simply because of her height, then OP would have to “reconsider” if she was the type of woman he wanted to marry.
That’s Emotional Blackmail!
Hannah, upset, accused OP of emotionally blackmailing her. She also immediately left to go to her mom’s house.
Relationship on the Rocks
Now Hannah is giving OP the silent treatment. They’ve yet to fix and work through what had just happened.
However, OP’s future mother-in-law sent him a “scathing rant” because he made her daughter cry. OP asked, “Am I the a**hole?”
What Redditors Think of the Issue
Users wanted OP to open his eyes to Hannah’s red flags.
A top commenter wrote, “She’s flying a big ole red flag on that six-foot flag pole. Please tell me you’re seeing it. Not the a**hole.”
Another wrote, “Not the a**hole. When someone tells you who they are, listen.”
It Will Get Worse
Redditors told OP that he should really reconsider pushing through with the wedding. With how Hannah acted, it would only get worse.
“Her reaction is way worse than her initial thoughts on visuals. The wedding will be over, but that behavior will continue and probably get worse,” said one user.
Another Redditor said, “For real, cutting a friend out for appearances is bad enough, but taking the argument to her mommy so she would scold OP on her behalf would definitely make me reconsider the marriage.”
Weddings Aren’t Supposed to Be About Photos
People also mentioned that many people—women—focus more on wedding photos than the true meaning of the ceremony.
One man wrote, “It’s sad how many women seem willing to blow up their social life over wedding photos. You get like one month after you get the photos back until all your friends and family don’t politely pretend they actually want to look at them when you ask. Then they sit in an album for the rest of your life.”
You Already Know
Some Redditors brought up the fact that OP should already be aware of how superficial his fiancé is, given how he said she had a superiority complex over her height at the beginning of the story.
“I like how OP hinted at knowing this by telling us she has a superiority complex in the second sentence. Not the a**hole, OP. You just have a very superficial and shallow bridezilla,” commented one Redditor.
Another replied, saying, “Sounds like the fiancé is one of those people who have an irresistible urge to inform people how tall she is every 15 minutes. I knew a few of those.”
Cancel the Wedding!
There were also some Redditors who straight-up suggested OP cancel the wedding. If he pushed through with it, he would be trapped in a miserable relationship.
Someone pointed out, “I would cancel the wedding. This is how OP’s life will be from here onward. He points out their spouse is being unreasonable or cruel, gets accused of emotional blackmail, and ends up having no constructive conversation.”
A woman who disagreed said that perhaps OP and Hannah should go to counseling first instead of immediately considering ending their relationship. She said, “Canceling the wedding may be a bit extreme; postponing the wedding or seeking premarital counseling may be the way to go. It’s easy to say that sitting behind a keyboard, not understanding the situation.”
Should he cancel the wedding? Or should he talk it out with Hannah and go to counseling first?
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This post first appeared as His Fiancé Demoted a Bridesmaid for Being “Too Short” and “Taking Attention Away” From Her in Photos. He Called Her a “Bridezilla,” and Now She’s Giving Him the Silent Treatment! on Quote Ambition.
