This soon-to-be dad thought it was okay to honor his late ex-girlfriend’s memory by giving his soon-to-be-born baby her name. However, his wife and the online community think he’s lost his mind!
Soon-To-Be Parents
OP (Original Poster) and his wife will be welcoming their baby into the world in a few weeks. So, even if they don’t know the baby’s gender yet, they’ve already started thinking of possible baby names.
Baby Names and OP’s Past
He shared that he had a girlfriend of six years who had already passed away. She was his girlfriend before he met his current wife.
A couple of nights before this story was posted, and when the couple was thinking of names, OP suggested his ex-girlfriend’s name.
Naming a Child in Her Memory
OP said he was absolutely devastated when his ex-girlfriend passed away and that he had “always imagined naming a child in her memory.”
Her name was Nancy, and OP loved the name itself.
Unimpressed and Uncomfortable Wife
Understandably, OP’s wife wasn’t ecstatic with her husband’s suggestion.
OP said, “When I made the suggestion to my wife, she seemed unimpressed. She told me she didn’t really feel comfortable with doing that. She felt it was strange and didn’t make sense as Nancy had been my girlfriend.”
Making Excuses for Himself
However, even when his wife was uncomfortable with the thought, he tried to justify his reasons for doing so. OP shared that Nancy was significant to him for a very long time.
He added, “She was my best friend, and losing her was just a terrible thing. I feel as though it would be a great way to remember and honor a dear friend who I miss every day.”
Rift in the Marriage
Obviously, OP’s wife doesn’t share his views. It had caused a lot of issues and tension, so OP dropped it.
OP told his wife that it was important that they were both on board with whatever name they chose for their baby. But his wife wasn’t over the issue; he said she was still “insisting it’s strange, and she doesn’t understand why he suggested it.”
Insecurity? Pregnancy Stress? What Is It?
OP thinks his wife might be insecure, or he said it might just be his wife’s pregnancy hormones and stress.
He said, “She just won’t drop it. I honestly don’t see the issue whatsoever.”
Another Apology
In an edit, OP said that he’d try apologizing again, and hopefully, his wife would accept it and stop asking him about it.
OP shared, “It probably was a weird idea, and maybe I wasn’t seeing that clearly as I’m still grieving to some extent.”
Clarifications
In the same edit, he added that he had already broken up with Nancy when she died. He said, “Nancy passed around two years after we separated, but we had decided to stay friends.”
Meeting His Wife
OP also clarified that he met his wife around two months before he and Nancy separated.
However, he thinks it doesn’t make much of a difference or impact on the story as a whole.
Did I Hurt Her Feelings?
OP doesn’t think there should be any issues at all. However, he asked if he was an a**hole for possibly hurting his wife’s feelings.
Redditors’ Two Cents
No matter how you look at it, Redditors think OP was an a**hole to his wife.
A Redditor wrote, “Yeah, you’re the a**hole. Not how you intended it, but it comes across as, ‘Hey wife, you’re my second choice, so let’s name our kid after what would have been my first choice.’”
It Would Just Be a Reminder of Your Past
Several Redditors also pointed out that naming their child after OP’s ex-girlfriend—albeit she passed away—would be a daily reminder of his past for his wife.
One person said, “It’s okay to still feel sad, but your wife does not need a daily reminder of your ex-girlfriend. I’ll be damned if I grow a baby for nine months, just to name it after my husband’s ex. You need to show more respect to your wife and ask her to forgive you.”
Stop Being So Self-Centered
People also wanted OP to realize that the baby is his wife’s baby, too—not just his. His wife would be possibly risking her life during childbirth, and she deserves all the respect she can get, including not having their child named after OP’s ex-girlfriend.
A Redditor noted, “This is your wife’s baby too, and you want her to think about someone you intimately loved before you married her? Ouch. You can’t honestly think that wouldn’t be hurtful, do you?”
Do You Think OP Was Wrong?
What do you think about OP’s actions? Do you think he was being insensitive?
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This post first appeared as Husband Wants to Name Their Baby After His Dead Ex-girlfriend Making His Wife Think She’s His “Second Choice” on Quote Ambition.
