This Redditor tried to adjust and compromise with her partner on several occasions. However, it seemed like he never learned his lesson, and OP (Original Poster) is already thinking of kicking him out!
Some Background on the Issue
OP and her boyfriend had been together since she was 17 and he was 18; they are currently 25 and 26. She sadly noted that there had been times in their relationship when she had had to raise their son alone.
She noted it was “a large majority of that time, actually.”
It Was Like She Was on Her Own
Her son is currently five years old. When she gave birth to him at 19, she figured things out herself; she had to work multiple jobs and find reliable childcare.
She said, “That was all on me.”
Things Started to Change
While OP was working multiple jobs, she struggled but was able to build her own business. She now owned a storefront and made more money than she would have dreamed for herself.
Because of her hard work, things slowly started to change for them. OP wrote, “I got us our dream apartment, and my son doesn’t want for anything.”
His Not-So-Constant Presence
She shared that her boyfriend “had come in and out” of their lives every six months or so. Even so, he was her best friend; he’d just been through a lot.
She wrote, “There are serious reasons as to why he had trouble providing, but for me, it’s not really an excuse, we both have a responsibility to our child, but he took a long time to actually be present.”
Trying to Be More Present
Recently, OP’s boyfriend was trying to be more active in their lives. She said he’d been around, and he helped her set up her storefront.
However, OP was taking her son to work with her pretty often. As a tattoo artist, it was tough to focus on her work and be a mom simultaneously; she said, “My job requires my full attention.”
Because of her struggles, OP told her boyfriend to quit his current job and be a stay-at-home dad instead. She was earning more than him, and they could save money by not getting a nanny.
It seemed like the perfect plan until she realized it was anything but.
Spending More Than He Should
OP’s boyfriend had been staying at home for four months already, and their issues slowly started to surface. She shared, “This weekend, he ran up one of my credit cards. I let it slide because we did need shoes, but I had warned him to only get shoes for our son, who grew out of all his.”
However, what was surprising to note was that her boyfriend spent $700 on shoes!
More Money Stolen
When OP checked her budget book, where she kept cash for bills and rent, she discovered her boyfriend had stolen another $600 from her.
She said, “To make things even worse, on the day I pay my employees, which is a lot of money going out of my account, he goes to the dispensary and spends $200 on weed!”
She’s Seeing Red!
OP was “f****** livid!” Her boyfriend stole and spent $1,500 in one weekend—right before all of their bills were due.
She mentioned that she had to pay their rent, which amounted to $1,700, and her shop’s rent, which was behind $3,000. OP also had to pay for utilities for both spaces, which was $600.
Apart from those, OP also had to pay for supplies, groceries, and loans. For these, she paid around $1,400 a week.
OP said, “So that money had been accounted for, and now I’m going to be struggling to pay rent in both spaces, and I’m just p***ed.”
Every Cent Counts
OP explained that though they are in a much better place financially, they are still struggling. She mentioned that owning a business is “hard and taxing work” and “literally all her income goes back into her business right now.”
Because of this, OP budgets everything discerningly, and all of their money is accounted for. She said, “I even add money for him weekly, so for him to go and overspend like this—I truly feel unappreciated and disrespected, and this isn’t the first time.”
History of Theft
She shared that she worked three jobs when her son was a newborn to make $200 a week. Then, her boyfriend selfishly took her debit card and stole the last $100 she had for things her son needed.
OP even said she had to start working two weeks after giving birth because her boyfriend couldn’t find a job!
A Big Setback
OP noted that she knew $100 couldn’t really pay for anything now, but it was all she had back then. Her boyfriend stealing it “broke her spirit.”
She said, “This isn’t as detrimental because my income is larger now, but it’s still setting us back by a lot.”
I Want It to End
She’s so frustrated that she’s seriously considering kicking him out but said he would be “homeless” if she did it. OP’s upset, and understandably so, since her partner had “betrayed her in every way now.”
She worked hard for their current financial status, and it wasn’t even about the money; she was upset that he would “disregard her work like this.” OP wrote, “I sit down, and I budget every other night. He watches me stress over everything, and he just decided to blow cash like that. It’s so disappointing and disrespectful to me.”
OP told her boyfriend that her mom had a spare bedroom he could rent; he could even use OP’s car to do Uber eats while she was at work! At this point, OP considered hiring a cleaner and a nanny, as she’d save her money and heartache.
However, OP is torn because she was the one who told him to quit his job, so OP’s boyfriend felt that she “f***ed him over” with her decision. She said, “He got mad when I brought this solution to the table.”
What People Have to Say
For Redditors, it was time for OP to wake up and walk away!
A top commenter said, “He’s an addict. Clear as day. Having been through myself, get rid of him. He’s not going to change, and no amount of good days is worth the bad ones.” Another woman commented, “This is straight-up addict behavior. He might even have one or several untreated mental illnesses. Neither of those are excuses for what he’s done. Those aren’t ‘good reasons.’ Those are all terrible reasons, even individually.”
Do you think OP should turn her back on her boyfriend? Should she push through with kicking him out?
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This post first appeared as She Asked Her Boyfriend to Be a Stay-At-Home Dad. But He Stole $1,500 From Her for Shoes and Weed! She’s Had Enough of His Betrayal; Should She Kick Him Out? on Quote Ambition.