She Banned Her Dysfunctional and “Abusive” Relatives From Her Wedding, Fearing They’d Wreak Havoc on Her Big Day. Now They’re Saying She’s “Ridiculous” to Exclude “Family!” Was She a Jerk?

This user didn’t want to invite her abusive family because they do nothing but bicker and cause drama. When they found out, they demanded she give them invitations and started gaslighting her!

Unhappy Childhood

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OP (Original Poster) is a 29-year-old woman who grew up in a dysfunctional family. There had been constant fighting, manipulation, and abuse when she was growing up.

Can’t Take More

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When OP turned 22, she decided that she had had enough. She moved to a different state where no one would know her and started her life over again.

Life Is a Struggle

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After she moved, OP met her future fiancé, a 30-year-old woman, in her new state. They struggled together, sometimes even being homeless, and had to fight their way out of debt from college and the cost of living.

Things Are Looking Better

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Once they had paid off some debt, things started looking better. OP and her fiancé own a home together, and they got all their other debt paid off so they could enjoy some stability.

The Sad Truth

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Then, OP’s family tracked her down on social media not long ago and informed her that her mother had died the year before this story was posted. She had never liked her mother, who “wasn’t a good mum,” in OP’s words, and she wasn’t upset that her mom had died.

Rebuilding Bridges

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Once she had told her fiancé about her past, OP decided to try to repair her relationship with the rest of her family. She thought it would be easier now because her mother wouldn’t be around to turn everyone against each other.

A Hopeful Beginning

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After not speaking to her siblings for years, OP finally reconnected with them.

Things seemed different at first. They were happy and calm—the opposite of what they had once been.

No Real Change

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While OP had hoped things had changed, after a few days of interacting with her relatives, she realized she was wrong. They were just as argumentative as before and bickered constantly.

No Refuge

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When OP reached out to other family members, they acted just like they had before she had moved out. OP’s family still had tons of drama, and she was already sick of it again.

Big Moments in Life

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While all this was happening, OP and her fiancé had planned their wedding. OP wasn’t big on the ceremony, but she wanted the day to be perfect for her fiancé because she deserved to have it be her day.

What About Us?

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When her family found out about her wedding, they started asking questions. One of the main things they were interested in was where their invitations to the wedding were.

The Perfect Day

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OP knew that her fiancé wanted a dream wedding and would do what she had to to make it happen. If her family attended the wedding, there would be arguing, fighting, and drama.

Facing the Truth

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OP told her family she wouldn’t be inviting them. An argument broke out immediately, and they said she was “being ridiculous” and that, as a family, they should be able to come.

Looking for Support

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Thankfully, her fiancé was on her side about the invitations, but OP still questioned herself. She was “conflicted” and wanted to know if she “was being an a**hole.”

What Reddit Has to Say

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Redditors flocked to the comments, and support for OP was high. Many Redditors pointed out that it was her wedding and she could do what she wanted.

One Redditor spoke about how great small weddings were, telling OP, “Not the a**hole. It’s your wedding. We didn’t elope, but my husband and I had us there. In our state, we don’t need witnesses, etc. We just did what we wanted, and it was so special. No one has the right to take that away from anyone else.”

Another Redditor thought about possible issues and warned OP, saying, “Not the a**hole. They have demonstrated that they have not changed, therefore they’re not owed any invitation. Have security on hand for the wedding day in case anyone shows up uninvited, and try to block them on social media as much as possible. Also, ask your friends not to divulge your personal information to your family.”

Right or Wrong?

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Reddit agreed that OP didn’t owe her family anything, least of all an invitation to her wedding.

One Redditor eloquently interjected, saying, “Not the a**hole. You decide who attends your wedding. You owe your estranged family nothing, not even the steam off your poop.”

What do you think about inviting family to a wedding? Should OP have done it, or is she right to hold her ground and leave them out?

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This post first appeared as She Banned Her Dysfunctional and “Abusive” Relatives From Her Wedding, Fearing They’d Wreak Havoc on Her Big Day. Now They’re Saying She’s “Ridiculous” to Exclude “Family!” Was She a Jerk? on Quote Ambition.

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

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