A Reddit user wants to know if she’s in the wrong for banning her fiancé’s mom from her big day after she spouts hurtful words at her and her daughter.
Let’s Set the Stage
OP (Original Poster) is a 27-year-old woman who will tie the knot with the man of her dreams this summer. They both have a child from previous relationships.
Her fiancé has a son named Riley, who is 10 years old, and OP has a daughter, Hannah, who is 8 years old.
How I Met Your Mother
OP and her fiancé met through the kids! Both children were in the same swimming classes a couple of years back.
More than being swimming buddies, the kids were the best of friends! This led them to build a loving relationship.
The Role Children Play
As parents to two wonderful children, and seeing that they are the reason they met, OP and her fiancé wanted to ensure their kids had a special role in their wedding.
Being relatively young, they tried to find the best position for their age so they wouldn’t have a hard time during the ceremony.
Under the Guise of a Fairy Tale
Looking at the relationship between the four of them, you’d think it’s a happy ending. Both kids love each other, and they adore their parents.
However, OP’s future mother-in-law seems to be from another story.
As per OP, her fiancé’s mother hated her. Her future mother-in-law was extremely sexist.
OP grossed her out because she believes her son deserves better and deserves to get married to a virgin instead of a teen mom.
Does Mother Know Best?
OP’s future mother-in-law was utterly biased. She believed that OP was a promiscuous and wanton woman out to ruin her son’s life.
OP’s future mother-in-law saw her in a different light as a teen mom. However, the truth is that OP’s daughter was conceived while married to her previous partner.
On the flip side, it’s her fiancé—her future mother-in-law’s son—who had a rushed wedding when the mother of his son was two months pregnant.
Back to Wedding Preparations
One day, while planning the wedding, OP was at her fiancé’s house, discussing which role to give their son. Suddenly, OP’s future mom-in-law popped up, got her nose into the wedding planning, and asked what the two were talking about.
Special Roles for Special Souls
OP’s fiancé told his mom that OP’s daughter would be a flower girl. He also said that they were discussing what role her fiancé’s son would play in the wedding.
She Loses It
OP’s future mother-in-law lost it. She started spouting hurtful things, which included the fact that OP’s daughter should be kept away from the ceremony.
Reason for the Outburst
Sadly, OP’s future mom-in-law had no other reason behind her outburst apart from the fact that people would know her son’s marrying a “used woman” if they saw OP’s daughter in the ceremony.
A Mom’s Hurting Heart
OP, being a mom, cannot believe and take what she just heard. She was trying to be respectful to her fiancé’s mom for years, but what she said about her daughter was the last straw!
Putting an End to All the Hurt
Because of everything that has happened, OP has decided the best solution is to ban her future mother-in-law from attending her wedding. Her fiancé backed her up and kicked his mom out of his house for the pain she’s caused.
Clamor for the Mother-In-Law
Once news got out that OP banned her future mom-in-law from the wedding, she and her fiancé started getting bombarded with calls and texts telling them that they were in the wrong.
Lift the Ban
Everyone was asking OP to lift her ban on her fiancé’s mother. They even asked her to talk to her fiancé about letting her go to their wedding because they knew that her fiancé would keep his mom banned without OP’s consent.
Crack Under Pressure
People around them told OP that watching one’s child get married is beautiful and that she is depriving her future mother-in-law of that. What adds salt to the wound is that her fiancé’s first wedding was messy and wasn’t the fairy tale it was meant to be.
This pressures OP to lift the ban on her mother-in-law, but she is still trying to figure out what to do.
A Mutual Decision
A Redditor said, “You can allow her to come to your wedding if you and your partner agree. You can also not allow her to come.”
The most important thing for this person is that OP and her partner must first agree to a decision. A wedding is for two people, after all.
Finding a Compromise
Some Reddit users offered a middle ground. For example, the bride and groom could invite her to the ceremony but not the reception.
Treating OP’s future mother-in-law as a guest and not a family member was also an option.
Supporting One’s Union
Many people go to weddings for the food and the people. However, always remember that you are invited to a wedding to support the union and love between the bride and the groom.
If you are like OP’s future mother-in-law, who is anything but supportive of the family they’re trying to build, then why are you even there?
Double Standards and Upholding Boundaries
Respect is a two-way street. As a Redditor said, “If she can’t respect her son’s wife, she doesn’t have a place in the wedding.”
Many came to back up OP’s decision and told her to uphold her boundaries. OP doesn’t deserve to be treated that way by anyone, especially by her future mom-in-law on her wedding day.
How Would You React?
You’re lucky if your in-law loves and respects you like their own child. Sadly, many aren’t as fortunate and blessed.
If you’re facing the same situation as OP, would you also ban your future in-law from your wedding?
This post first appeared as She Banned Her Future Mother-In-Law From Attending Her Wedding, and Things Just Got Chaotic for the Soon-To-Be Wedded Couple on Quote Ambition.