This mom was absolutely furious when her mother-in-law tried to sway her son to treat his sister badly—just because she was adopted! She banned her from seeing the kids, but was she overreacting?
Deciding to Adopt
OP (Original Poster) and her husband have two kids: an eight-year-old boy, Malcolm, and a five-year-old girl, Julia.
After having a traumatic experience while giving birth to her son, OP decided she was unwilling to go through something similar again. Even so, they still wanted another child, so they decided to adopt five years ago.
OP’s mother-in-law cares for her family, but she blatantly favors her son.
She said, “To begin, she was absolutely furious hearing that I would not be having another biological child and was instantly disapproving.”
Against Their Idea
When her mother-in-law heard they would adopt, her anger and disapproval turned into “rage.”
OP wrote, “She screamed about how we didn’t know the parentage of the child and might end up bringing in someone who would disgrace her lineage.”
Thankfully, her husband was able to calm his mom down. When she saw their daughter, Julia, it seemed like everything negative was already behind them.
However, OP would soon find out it was not the case.
A Helping Hand
The day before this story was posted, OP’s mother-in-law decided to come over and help around the house since her husband was away.
Because OP was absolutely exhausted, she asked if it would be alright for her to take a quick nap, and her mother-in-law happily agreed.
Later, she got woken up by her mother-in-law, saying she was about to leave. OP didn’t think, even in the slightest, that something would soon go wrong
Going On as Usual
OP was cooking in the kitchen. Suddenly, OP heard a loud bang, and then her daughter, Julia, started crying.
She rushed to the hall, and she saw Malcolm towering over her. Then, he was screaming, “You’re not real! All of this is mine!”
A Conflict Between Siblings
Seeing Malcolm reacting like that was confusing for OP. She didn’t know what his outburst was all about.
So, after she calmed him down, she asked Malcolm what he meant by what he said.
Grandmother’s Damaging Words
Then, Malcolm revealed that his grandmother told him he was “Mommy and Daddy’s real son.” This made OP furious!
She asked him what else his grandmother had said. OP wrote, “He told me all about how she had been telling him that Julia wasn’t really his sister and how he should have extra attention for being ‘extra special,’ how he’s always going to be grandma’s favorite grandson, and so much more.”
A Furious Mom
OP was absolutely livid! She texted her mother-in-law, saying her actions were “absolutely unacceptable!” She also told her that she “would never be seeing her grandkids until they’re much older and understand the situation so they wouldn’t be swayed by her words.”
She then proceeded to block her on all platforms.
After OP had calmed down, she started to think that she might have overreacted a bit. After all, her mother-in-law was an “old lady.”
Her Husband’s Thoughts
When her husband returned home, and he had learned about what happened, he and OP got into an argument because he disagreed with what OP did.
OP wrote, “He adores his mother and told me that stopping her from seeing the kids is inhumane. She’s simply old-fashioned, and she didn’t know her words would bring this big of an impact or such. We will be having a civil discussion about this later.”
Talking to the Kids
In an edit, OP clarified that Malcolm and Julia knew about the adoption. However, since they were still little kids, it’s easy for the truth to be distorted.
So, she believed that she would have to have another conversation about this and make sure that Julia knew it didn’t matter if she was adopted. They would still love her all the same.
The Community’s Two Cents
The online community advised OP to open her eyes to what her husband is doing.
One said, “I need you to understand this: your husband is saying he will let his mother abuse your daughter. You have a serious problem in your family, and you need to get into counseling to fix it immediately before he ruins this young girl’s life. And you need to prepare for the fact that your husband may never really love or protect his adopted daughter, and you will have to be the one who protects her from both of them. Not the a**hole.”
His Reaction Is Disgusting
People wanted to call OP’s husband out for how he reacted and handled things.
Another Redditor zoomed in on him and said, “My God, I was horrified when I read that the husband disagreed with her decision because he adores his mom. OP should have their son tell his dad exactly what his grandmommy dearest said and then ask, ‘So you’re okay with your mom saying these things about your daughter? Is that what you are telling me? That our daughter deserves to be told she isn’t as worthy of our love because she’s not our biological child? Are you telling me that you love your mom more than Julia? Because that’s the only takeaway from you wanting your mother around after the horrible things she said. And if he still wants his mom around, divorce him. The end. Your child’s welfare is more important than saving a marriage with a man who will allow his mom to abuse his child.”
What do you think about everything? Should OP just let her husband and mother-in-law have their way?
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This post first appeared as She Banned Her Mother-In-Law From Seeing Her Kids After She Told Her Son He’s the Only “Real” Child in the Family Because His 5-Year-Old Sister Is Adopted! on Quote Ambition.