She thought her sister and parents were in the process of accepting her choices and her lifestyle. But that changed when her twin couldn’t stop expressing her rude opinions while her biased parents enabled her!
Twins That Couldn’t Be More Different
OP (Original Poster) and her twin sister, Mary, are 25. They grew up close, but Mary went on a different path over the years.
She sadly drowned herself in drug and alcohol addiction, and they became distant. OP tried to help her twin as much as she could but eventually learned that someone who doesn’t want help couldn’t be helped—no matter how hard one tried.
The Favorite Twin
Their parents have always favored Mary, and this is one of the reasons behind their fragile relationship. Over the last year, however, OP and her sister began speaking to each other again.
They still aren’t close but are on their way to mending their relationship.
She’s a Tattletale
Before this, the last time OP spoke to Mary was two years before she posted this story, and it was when Mary revealed to OP’s whole family that she was gay. Mary got completely wasted while they were having dinner and told everybody without thinking.
She even made a couple of other comments wherein she spouted her negative opinions on the topic. OP added, “My parents spoke, and both cried like I ruined their lives, which is another story, but they’ve somewhat accepted that I won’t change, which I can’t say about my sister.”
A Wedding in Full Bloom
Now, OP’s engaged to her fiancé, a 24-year-old woman, and they’ve been together for 4 years. The two of them are planning to get married in early spring.
Even though OP’s sister has been very open about her opinion on OP’s relationship, she still wants to show support by coming to the wedding. So, OP invited Mary and her 35-year-old boyfriend to her wedding under the condition that she would remain “respectful.”
Something Simple and Personal
OP explained that she wouldn’t be having a traditional wedding party; instead, she would have all her close friends supporting and helping her. There wouldn’t be any strict or rigid rules.
Mary didn’t want to be involved in that, but both she and OP agreed for her to have a speech.
Rude Comments or Innocent Jokes?
While OP and Mary were sitting down and drafting some ideas for the speech, Mary asked if it was okay if she put some jokes in it. OP hesitated but told her sister to write them, and she’ll check.
OP said, “When I read what she wrote, I immediately told her no jokes. All she wrote was rude comments toward my fiancé, and the majority of it was h********* and saying s*** like, ‘It’s not a real wedding in God’s eyes, so who cares?’ I then told her explicitly to not comment on my relationship at all during the wedding.”
Sister’s Unwelcome Opinions
After this, Mary argued that she would be voicing her opinion because she couldn’t control herself and was honest when drunk. So, OP told her not to drink and that she didn’t have to come if she wouldn’t be respectful.
OP added, “If she wants to go to humiliate me and my fiancé, I don’t want her there.”
Cutting off Her Other Half
However, Mary argued back, saying OP can’t expect her to be quiet when OP’s “marrying a woman.” Their conversation continued until OP eventually uninvited her twin sister.
Parents’ Blatant Favoritism
Later, her parents said she was being an “a**hole” and told her they wouldn’t attend her wedding either. They even said they wouldn’t support her actions if her sister weren’t included.
What They Really Think
OP’s parents said they would keep an eye on her twin sister but said that uninviting Mary from her “wedding,” which her parents put in quotes, was “f***** up.” They said that she should be “ashamed.”
She wrote, “I want my parents there because I do want their support even if they aren’t 100%. They have shown effort in getting to know my fiancé, but I don’t trust my sister, and if I don’t invite her, they said they won’t go.”
Redditors Speak Their Minds
Redditors have been very honest about their views on OP’s situation and said that her sister and her parents not coming to her wedding might be best for everyone.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. It sounds like your parents don’t consider this a real wedding. And that your sister only wants to go to cause trouble. Your parents saying they won’t come if your sister isn’t invited might be a blessing in disguise.”
Don’t Let Them Ruin Your Day!
Some people suggested that OP hire security in case her sister and parents crash into her wedding.
“Not the a**hole. She is being rude and disrespectful. And if your parents side with her, I’m sorry, but good riddance to bad rubbish. You’ll have your true family around you, all of your friends who love you deeply and want to see you happy. Congratulations on your day. Hire security so she can’t crash,” someone wrote.
Another person said, “Not the a**hole. Do not invite your h*********alcoholic sister who does not respect you. Don’t invite your parents either. Make sure security is aware so they will be escorted out and not ruin your wedding.”
Hoping for a Positive Turnout
There are people who told OP that even though it hurts her not to have her family present at her wedding, it’s the only way for her and her fiancé to get married without any difficulties. However, Redditors are still hopeful that things will get better for OP.
A commenter wrote, “There is no gentle way to say this. I would not invite any of them to your wedding. Yes, this is terrible. Yes, you are likely the one most hurt by this. However, you deserve a day to experience joy with your fiancé without your family s******* on it. I’m sorry they are like this. I hope it gets better.”
The same person added, “However, your sister sounds toxic, and your parents enable her behavior by supporting her. I’m glad your parents are trying, and I hope they open up their minds more in the future.”
Commenters said that OP should think about herself first this time and that she deserves to be happy as well.
A Redditor wrote, “Not the a**hole. It’s time to prioritize your life and your happiness. If they can’t recognize you are getting married, if they can’t be happy for you wholeheartedly, they do not need to be there.”
Was OP really being a jerk for uninviting her sister? Did she make a mistake?
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This post first appeared as She Banned Her Twin Sister From Her Wedding After She Threatened to Add “Homophobic Jokes” in Her Speech. Now Her Twin Says It’s a “Sham” Since She’s “Marrying a Woman!” on Quote Ambition.