This Redditor came home to a shirtless man who was in their home with her mother. She’s so blinded by anger that she can’t think of anything else but driving him out!
A Traumatic Experience
OP (Original Poster), a 19-year-old, and her 60-year-old mom were dealing with a challenging situation. After all, when she posted this story, it had only been two weeks since OP’s stepdad, a significant figure in her life, had passed away.
OP wrote, “He has been in my life since I was 10, and I loved him so much.” Losing him hit them both hard, especially since he passed away right in her mom’s arms, making the whole ordeal particularly traumatic.
Because of this, OP has taken on the responsibility of caring for her mom during this tough time. She’s gone into full caretaker mode, ensuring her mom keeps up with her heart medication, eats properly, and stays hydrated.
She’s doing everything she can to be supportive and “being as helpful for her as she can.”
A Day for Herself
One day, OP decided to head out with her boyfriend, so she informed her mom that she’d be back late in the evening.
It’s not unusual for OP to return home late, and she figured her mom would be fast asleep, so she didn’t see the need to send a text while she was out.
A Surprising Sight
However, when OP got home, things took an unexpected turn.
At 11 in the evening, in the driveway where OP usually parks, there was an unfamiliar car. Initially, she thought it might be one of her mom’s “girlfriends” paying a late visit.
A Dramatic Turn
Curiosity getting the best of her, OP peered through the living room window and saw something that left her utterly baffled. There was a shirtless man in there!
What Is Going On?
She tried to open the door but found it locked, and that’s when she overheard her mom whispering, “We weren’t doing anything, okay?” The whole situation left OP shocked and utterly bewildered.
This Isn’t Me
When her mom opened the door, OP couldn’t contain her disbelief and frustration. She yelled, “What the f*** is going on?”
Usually, she avoids disrespecting her mom, but this time, her emotions got the better of her, and she couldn’t help but speak her mind.
As OP tried to wrap her head around this weird situation, she realized that the shirtless man was none other than her biological dad’s old friend. The man had been friends with her parents since they were teenagers!
He had recently gone through a divorce, which somehow led to him reconnecting with her mom. But OP had no clue things had gotten this cozy between them.
Questioning the Situation
OP couldn’t help but go off and ask them why “they were doing that s*** in her stepdad’s home.”
She understood he wasn’t coming back, but it felt too soon for her mom to engage in such activities in what used to be her stepdad’s home. She wrote, “I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”
Get Out of Our House!
While OP knew she shouldn’t meddle in her mom’s choices, her emotions took over.
Things escalated quickly, and OP ended up in a heated argument with her mom and the man. OP demanded that he leave, and he hastily complied, not even getting a chance to put on his shoes.
Was It a Good Idea?
Once the man had left, OP’s mom stayed silent, lying on her bed.
OP couldn’t help but press her mom for an explanation, questioning “why she had to bring him into their home for a late-night booty call.”
This Wasn’t Supposed to Happen!
OP’s mom shared that her stepdad had been in bad health for over a year before he passed, and they hadn’t had “s**” since. She also mentioned that she had “never planned for that to happen” with the person she had invited to their home.
It Was Love
Looking back, OP said, “My stepdad was the most amazing thing that ever happened to my mom and me.” When her mom left their biological dad, he came into their lives, creating a warm and loving home even though he never had kids of his own.
Despite any issues, he loved OP’s mom deeply, and she knew it.
So, OP found herself torn. She said, “I want to tell my older sisters what happened so I can know what to do, but I’m conflicted.”
Do as You Please
In an update, OP and her mom reached an agreement wherein OP respected her mom’s choices but asked her “not to bring him to their home,” and her mom agreed. They’ve mended their relationship, with OP acknowledging her mistake and vowing not to disrespect her mom like that again.
OP even called one of her sisters and let her know about the situation. Her sister was shocked, but OP said she “handled it well since she is older and far more mature than OP was.”
Redditors’ Points of View
Redditors sympathized with OP, saying they knew why she acted that way.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. I absolutely see why this upset you. It would upset me, too, if I were in that situation. I can also see that your mom was sad and turned to a friend for comfort. It wasn’t a great move on your mom’s part to let you find out about it, but I cannot imagine that it was on purpose.”
Another user said, “Your reaction was completely normal, and for people saying that it’s not your business what she does or with whom she does, it kind of is. She’s your mother, and she lives with you in the same house. This was just rude, bringing another man into the house and planning to have s** with him, knowing your daughters might be able to hear it, especially after having lost their stepdad two weeks ago.”
Two Ends of the Spectrum
Other users felt terrible for her mom and how she had to deal with grief.
A Redditor wrote, “Soft ‘you’re the a**hole.’ You have a right to feel how you feel and grieve how you grieve, but so does your mom. You’re an adult and presumably are being comforted by your boyfriend. She probably wants the same. I’m sorry for your family’s loss. Cut her some slack.”
To which another replied, “Everyone grieves differently. Some people grieve with ‘life-affirming’ behavior, such as seeking comfort in intimacy. OP should apologize for judging her grieving widowed mother so harshly. She doesn’t need to understand it, but she shouldn’t shame her for it. Her mom should be free to find comfort in any way that helps without causing harm.”
Were OP’s actions warranted for? Should she have understood her widowed mother’s response to grief?
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This post first appeared as She Caught Her 60-Year-Old Mom With a Shirtless Man, Only Two Weeks After Her Stepdad Died. She’s Furious, Thinking She’s Being “Ungrateful,” and Kicked Him Out. Was She Being Selfish? on Quote Ambition.