A Mom Forced Her 13-Year-Old Daughter to Write an Apology Letter and Grounded Her After Being “Rude” to Her Teacher and Belittling Her Brother’s Autistic Friend. Was She a “Jerk?”

A woman was appalled by her daughter’s actions toward her teacher. So, she made her write an apology letter to make her face the consequences of her actions!

One Big, Happy Family?

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OP (Original Poster) and her husband have 4 kids: 2 girls, who are 13 and 16, and 2 boys, who are 13 and 15. Their 13-year-olds, Addilyn and Bayard, are twins.

Something Unusual

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The Monday before OP posted this story, she and her husband got text messages from Bayard saying he needed to talk to them when they got home. They found that odd and spoke to each other before their kids got home.

What Bayard Has to Say

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When the kids arrived, OP and her husband talked to Bayard in his room. Apparently, Bayard had heard Addilyn being rude to her history teacher, who is also Bayard’s teacher in a different period and his baseball coach.

OP added, “Bayard and his friends look up to her. She knows so much about the sport and will talk to them about all the games going on, and she also gives them advice on things.”

His Twin Sister’s Rude Remarks

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They had never seen Bayard so mad that his face was red.

Bayard clarified that he didn’t know much of the specific details. Still, he heard from some of the kids at school that Addilyn was asking the teacher if she was on her period.

Asking for Clarifications

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With that information, they emailed the teacher and received a reply the following day. She had admitted that what Bayard said was true and even gave them some details.

A Teenager’s Disrespectful Actions

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According to OP, what she and her husband learned from the teacher was absolutely “horrifying.”

It all started when Addilyn was talking to some friends while the teacher was trying to instruct the class. She asked her to stop, but Addilyn just refused.

Her Insensitive Jokes

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There was also a time when the kids were learning about Thomas Jefferson, and one of the students asked if Jefferson was autistic, having read it from somewhere. That’s when Addilyn and her friends made some joke about autistic people and basically called them “stupid.”

One of the kids on the baseball team, Bayard’s friend, is autistic, and Addilyn is well aware of that. OP described him as a really bright and sweet kid.

Dealing With an Ill-Mannered Student

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Afterward, the teacher told Addilyn that what she said wasn’t very nice and tried to educate them a bit on what autism was. Then, Addilyn said the teacher was “overreacting” and asked if she was on her period.

OP added, “The teacher admitted she didn’t call because she has had bad experiences with these types of phone calls in the past and was afraid of how we’d react. We told her she didn’t need to worry.”

Facing the Consequences

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OP and her husband discussed the situation afterward and agreed that Addilyn should lose her phone privileges for a few weeks. They also had Addilyn write an apology letter to both her teacher and the boy she made fun of, even though he wasn’t in that class.

Initially, Addilyn agreed, and she wrote the apology letters.

Freedom of Expression: The Wrong Way

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However, her letter seemed insincere, and OP had a feeling it was AI-generated. When they asked her about it, she admitted using AI to write it.

So, they told her the letter needed to be genuine, but she refused to write it that way. Addilyn reasoned that “forcing” her to write an apology is against her right to express her “true thoughts,” and she even called her parents names, including “a**holes.”

The Community’s Reactions

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Redditors think that OP and her husband should teach their kid better because, as of now, she’s the kind of child who is openly rude and disrespectful.

The top commenter wrote, “Get control of your 13-year-old. There’s a difference between sharing thoughts and being blatantly rude. Don’t let up on the apology. What an ungrateful, horrible child. Not the a**hole.”

Another person added to the previous comment, saying, “This attitude creatures a child who ends up being a monster when backs are turned.”

She Should Learn ASAP!

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Some people shared their thoughts on what they would do if Addilyn were their kid.

“Not the a**hole. She will continue being entitled if you allow that behavior. You are the parent and set the rules. Her words did harm to others, including her brother, and she doesn’t have a right to express her thoughts if they are meant to hurt others. I would also have her research and write a paper about what disrespectful behavior is and provide examples of different types. Hold firm. You’ve got this,” a commenter said.

Be Firm and Unyielding

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The community then gave their thoughts on OP and her husband’s parenting style and said they should stand firm and be the kind of parents they should be. Otherwise, Addilyn is never going to be a better person.

A Redditor wrote, “Not the a**hole. Add on another few weeks. She’s a mean girl or, at the very least, well on her way to becoming one. And she refused to write her own letter? You are the parent. What you say goes.”

The same person added, “I wouldn’t even tell her she doesn’t get her phone back until she asks for it. Then you say she’s not getting it back and that next time you tell her to do something, you expect it to be done. You need to become more sure of yourself. She’s not listening because she knows you are second-guessing yourself and is playing on that.”

Forcing Her Is Not the Solution

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Then, there were some Redditors who said that as a teenager, Addilyn would act in different ways. Sometimes, she could be mature, and most times, she’s a brat, and that’s exactly what’s happening now.

Someone said, “Not the a**hole. Your daughter is a teenage girl, and unfortunately, sometimes that means she’ll act very mature for her age, and other times she’ll act like a brat. This is one of the latter. With that said, you can’t force her to be sorry, but you can let her know why she’s being a brat and provide appropriate consequences.”

Another person wrote, “Not the a**hole. She was being a brat, and taking her phone for a while seemed fair. But a forced apology will always sound insincere because it is. I really don’t know what you were expecting.”

Do you think OP was wrong for telling her daughter to write an apology letter? What would you do if you had a daughter or son who acted like Addilyn?

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This post first appeared as She Forced Her 13-Year-Old to Write an Apology Letter After She “Rudely” Insulted Her Teacher and Her Brother’s Autistic Friend. Now Her Daughter’s Saying She’s a “Jerk!” Was She Wrong? on Quote Ambition.

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

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