A young woman helped her brother out by letting him move in with her. Almost two years later, he doesn’t help around the house or pay rent, and she wants him gone!
Just for a Little While
OP (Original Poster) is a 24-year-old woman married to a 25-year-old man, and they have 2 kids together.
Though they were already a 4-person household, OP decided to help her 19-year-old brother by letting him stay with them for a short while—until he got back on his own two feet.
Never Gonna Give You Up
However, OP’s brother was still there a year and a half later. This resulted in her being burned out and tired from caring for him while being a stay-at-home mom.
OP’s husband made enough to support their family, but her brother was an unwelcome addition. They made a deal: he would help out around the house, pay rent, and clean up after himself.
A Good Start
At first, OP said there was nothing wrong. She drove over 1,000 miles to get him, and he started off helping out around the house like he was supposed to.
Let the Freeloading Commence
As time wore on, OP’s brother stopped helping. He didn’t even care for his bedroom or the bathroom he shared with her kids.
It had gotten so bad OP even had to call out an exterminator. Her brother’s room had to be treated for bugs because he wouldn’t clean it!
OP said it took her brother six months to get a job. He paid $400 monthly rent, and she provided his meals and everything else he needed.
But this setup didn’t last for long. After a while, OP’s brother was left with paying $75 for rent every two weeks.
She wrote, “He stopped helping around the house, and I desperately want him out. His rent is only $75 per his biweekly payments, and he just has to worry about his room, which still is and has been covered in garbage.”
No Good Deed
Not only did OP’s brother have no other bills, except for a $35 phone bill, but he somehow failed to save money. OP doesn’t understand how that was possible.
To make matters worse, he even stole some of the food her kids would eat and then lied to her when she knew it was him!
Pushed to the Limit
By this point, OP just wanted her brother to leave. She was tired of picking up after him and reminding him to pick up after himself.
OP had already cleaned up after her kids, her husband, and their two pets, and she was done.
Start Saving Now
OP gave her brother an ultimatum: save as much money as possible for six months, then he would be kicked out. Sadly, the rest of her family started to call her an “a**hole” because of this.
Still Tried to Help
But to OP, she’s been as lenient as she could.
After all, on top of offering him six months, OP tried to help further. She offered to let him buy a car from her for a quarter of the asking price so he could start adulting faster.
Helpless Like a Baby
Despite all her help, OP noted that her brother didn’t do a thing to help himself. He wouldn’t make eye appointments or go to the DMV, and she no longer cared where he went after he was kicked out.
The Nest Is Closed
For OP, enough’s enough; it was time for her to have some period of rest that was just for her.
Having added one more person to care for was too much strain for her to deal with.
At first, OP hoped that she could help. But now she’s thinking that “experiencing homelessness” was the only way he would learn—his only wake-up call!
He had only paid $150 in rent for months and should have thousands saved because where they live, that is as cheap as it gets. She said, “Am I the a**hole? ‘Cause I sure don’t feel like one.”
What the Community Has to Say
Reddit rallied around OP when she asked if she was the a**hole. To them, she did more than the bare minimum.
One noted that she had done everything that could be expected of her, saying, “No, not the a**hole. You were and are honestly far more forgiving and patient than I could ever be with my siblings. You have done him a huge favor, and not only has he disrespected your kindness, but you, your family, and your home. You have given him more than enough time to get himself together. I think giving him the ultimatum and following through is literally your only option at this point. If your family thinks you’re the a**hole, they can always take him in!”
Another Redditor echoed the community’s sentiments and said, “Not the a**hole. You’ve given him a year and a half with basically non-existent rent. If he hasn’t saved a dime, that’s on him. Either kick him out with the understanding that he can use your address on applications for jobs and things, or start charging him as if he were a stranger.”
Ties of Blood and Water
OP had been backed up by Redditors, and many pointed out how tolerant and patient she had been.
One took it a step further and noted, “Not the a**hole. Tell any family member who thinks you are being mean that they are welcome to take over when the six months is up. It’s generous of you to give him a six-month warning.”
“Not the a**hole. Throw the useless mooching a**hole out. Don’t give him notice or time to find somewhere. Boot him out today! He is using you and has no intentions of moving out,” suggested another user.
What do you think? Should OP have done more, or is her family being unreasonable, thinking that she is in the wrong?
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This post first appeared as She Kicked Her Brother Out After He Freeloaded off of Them for Almost Two Years. He Needs to Learn His Lesson, and “Experiencing Homelessness” Might Be the Perfect “Wake-up Call!” on Quote Ambition.