She just wanted to get her mom-in-law off her back, so she told her the baby was a girl, even if she wasn’t sure. But everything backfired when she discovered her mother-in-law told everyone!
OP (Original Poster) is a soon-to-be mom who never wanted to have a gender reveal party. However, her in-laws kept making a big deal out of it, so she eventually agreed.
Her mother-in-law had been pushing her to divulge their baby’s gender. However, she didn’t know whether it was a boy or a girl.
OP told her mother-in-law precisely this, but she wouldn’t believe her.
There’s No Stopping Her
It’s been a month, and her mother-in-law still hasn’t stopped bugging her. So, she finally caved in.
Her mom-in-law begged and promised she wouldn’t tell anyone. So, she lied to get her off her back and told her the baby was a girl.
OP thought telling her a white lie would be alright since there was a 50% chance of it being a girl anyway. Additionally, no one else would know about it since her mother-in-law swore to keep things to herself.
A Lying Mother-In-Law
However, her mother-in-law lied about keeping things a secret. When they cut the cake during the gender reveal, the inside of the cake was blue, meaning the baby was a boy—not a girl, like what she told her mother-in-law.
Then, there was an awkward silence.
It turns out that her mother-in-law told everyone about the baby’s supposed gender—a girl—and instructed everyone she knew to bring gender-specific gifts.
OP shared, “She had told literally all of the guests from her side of the family so they could bring appropriate gifts.”
On the other hand, OP’s family and friends weren’t told that the baby was a girl. So, they all approached her and congratulated them on their baby boy, not knowing what just happened.
OP’s mother-in-law was furious at her. She hissed at her and accused her of deliberately making her look stupid in front of everyone.
So, OP reminded her mother-in-law that she was the one who broke the promise of not telling anyone. Her mom-in-law denied this and said she never promised anything.
This prompted OP to show her their exchanges over the phone.
She proved her point in front of everyone. OP wrote, “Some of the family were right there when I did that, so they heard her admit that she lied and had never intended to keep that promise.”
A Bad Move
Her mother-in-law insisted that OP told her the baby was a girl so she could deliberately embarrass her. But, again, OP reminded her that she had told her—on multiple occasions—that she did not know the gender.
Keep the Peace
OP’s husband wanted her to apologize so they could keep the peace. OP said she probably would, but she believed what she did wasn’t that bad, contrary to what her mother-in-law thought.
However, OP still thought there might be a chance she was an a**hole for lying, albeit unknowingly, about her baby’s gender, putting her mother-in-law in an awkward position.
Insights From Redditors
People believe that it wasn’t OP’s fault that her mother-in-law was embarrassed.
One wrote, “Not the a**hole. She embarrassed herself. ‘I’m sorry you embarrassed yourself by lying’ is about the only apology I’d be willing to give.” A user replied, “That’s a slow burn right there. Do it in public, and there’s no real comeback that mother-in-law can say that will let her save face. Which is exactly how it should be.”
One Redditor also pointed out that apologizing to “keep the peace,” like OP’s husband’s suggestion, is a bad long-term strategy.
“I actually hate conflict and usually just apologize to keep the peace, but it’s a bad strategy long-term. It sets a precedent where the mother-in-law—and all those like her—can steamroll her way through every event, safe in the knowledge she won’t be called out on it.”
Was OP too much? What would you do if you were in her shoes?
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This post first appeared as She “Lied” About Their Baby’s Gender So Her Mother-In-Law Would Stop Pestering Her. But She Told Everyone Their “Little Secret” and Made the Gender Reveal Party Super Awkward! on Quote Ambition.