She wanted her son to be happy, so she offered to pay for the wedding. However, his in-laws think they could do without it; they want to use the money to fund themselves!
Her Son’s Happily Ever After
OP (Original Poster) has a 24-year-old son who will soon marry his high school sweetheart, Bianca.
Sponsoring the Couple’s Big Day
OP and her husband were financially secure, so she offered to pay for the wedding. She mentioned, “We could definitely afford to pay for it.”
Her son offered to cover half the cost, and OP was happy simply because he offered to do so. However, she didn’t accept it and told him to save money for their honeymoon.
OP’s problems seem to lie with Bianca’s parents. While she liked Bianca, she said, “Her parents, I never got along with.”
They Don’t Need a Wedding!
Bianca’s parents told OP that the couple doesn’t need a wedding. They said she should give them the money instead!
They reasoned with her and told her they were about to get kicked out of their home already.
To better understand Bianca’s parents’ personalities, OP shared that their son, who used to pay for their bills and rent, passed away in a car crash seven months before this story was posted.
OP said that he had left them a relatively hefty amount. Even so, they didn’t grieve their son that much; to OP, it seemed they were only concerned about being unable to go on a vacation that year because of their son’s death.
We Need the Money
They kept trying to tell OP that they needed the money more than her son and Bianca. She also shared that they told her, “Bianca would rather them be able to live comfortably than have a wedding.”
Going No Contact
Because of this, OP has cut off contact with his son’s future in-laws. She blocked their numbers, but they kept contacting her through different numbers.
She said she didn’t tell Bianca about their exchanges. OP also said they didn’t ask Bianca for money because she said no every time and even lessened her contact with them.
Why They’re Part of the Wedding
OP explained that Bianca’s parents would only be present at the wedding because her son pushed Bianca to invite them.
She said, “She’s only inviting them to the wedding because my son said it would mean a lot to them because they always wanted her to be married.” OP mentioned that they had “old-time views,” and they expected Bianca to be a stay-at-home mom, which she didn’t want to be.
Shaking Her to the Core
OP doesn’t want to give in to her son’s future in-laws, but one of their messages shook her to the core.
In the post, she said, “They claimed I baby my son, and if I truly loved him, I wouldn’t be forcing him to have a large wedding because of his social anxiety.”
His Social Anxiety
She explained that he’d had social anxiety all his life. There was even a time when he was brought to the hospital after fainting in class during a presentation.
Bianca’s parents kept pushing, and OP shared, “They said if I were a good mother, I would just let them get married in a courtroom or have a small wedding with just me, my husband, them, and some other close family, instead of 100-200 people there.”
Her Son’s Thoughts
OP shared that her son was indeed nervous about the wedding. Even so, he was so excited to see Bianca walk down the aisle.
She said, “He’s waited his whole life to see Bianca walk down the aisle for him, and just the thought of her being by his side is enough for him to go through with it.”
Bianca knew about her son’s anxiety and even offered to just legally file the paperwork, but OP’s son was adamant they pushed through with the wedding ceremony.
OP shared, “My son wanted her dream of a beautiful wedding to come true, so he’s willing to stand by her side during the wedding and say their vows in front of a crowd.”
Even with everything, OP is afraid she’s an a**hole to Bianca’s parents and her son. She ended by saying, “Now I’m worried he may actually not want a wedding but is going through with it because of Bianca and me.”
Insights From Redditors
Redditors wanted OP to know that she was not doing anything wrong and that it wasn’t her obligation to pay for her son’s future in-laws’ rent.
A top comment was, “Not the a**hole. They are doing what they want. It seems like they are happy. As long as your kid wants the wedding, you are good. I’d block Bianca’s family and move on.”
People also called out Bianca’s parents for having the audacity to try to get OP’s son’s and Bianca’s money for themselves.
One said, “On what planet could you be an a**hole for not giving those leeches money? Wedding or no wedding—they wouldn’t be getting your money! Weirdos! Who asks their kid’s in-laws for money?”
What do you think about OP’s situation? What would you tell her son’s future in-laws if you were in her shoes?
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This post first appeared as She Offered to Pay For Her Son’s Wedding, but His Future In-Laws Disagreed. They Said They “Don’t Need a Wedding.” Instead, They Demanded She Pay For Their Rent! on Quote Ambition.