This user didn’t want to risk damaging her relationship with her biological mother by asking for money for her half-brother. Now, her stepmom is emotionally abusing her and won’t stop with her demands!
OP (Original Poster) is a 25-year-old woman. She was born when her father broke up with his then-girlfriend Kayla and spent a single night with another woman named Sara.
Despite using protection, Sara got pregnant. At the time, Sara was “financially dependent” on her parents, still young, and didn’t want children.
She wanted to get an abortion but ultimately couldn’t.
Signing Away Blood
However, OP’s father and paternal grandparents were eager to raise OP. So, Sara gave birth to OP and signed her parental rights away to them.
When OP was two years old, her father and Kayla got back together and got married.
Kayla and her father had one child together before OP was born—her older half-brother, Tom. But her dad and Kayla’s relationship was going well, and when OP turned seven, they had another son: Ryan.
Struggling Through Life
OP’s family wasn’t dirt poor, but they also never had much money to spare. Kayla, for her part as a stepmom, largely ignored OP throughout her childhood.
She was never a mother figure for her. OP explained, “Kayla couldn’t really do much because my dad was always there, and my grandparents also doted on me. Even Tom as well has always been fond of me.”
What Could Have Been
So, it wasn’t surprising that when OP turned 16, she grew curious about her biological mother, Sara. Her father had never told her anything “bad” about her, so she wanted to get to know her mom.
Forming a New Bond
After some time, OP reached out, and her meeting with Sara went great. During the get-together, Sara admitted that she never wanted to be a mother because of her own issues with her parents and her “battle with anxiety and depression;” for all of that, she’d believed she’d never really be good at being a mom.
Ultimately, OP and Sara agreed to have a relationship, but “not that of a mother and daughter.” Instead, Sara would be more like the “cool aunt.”
Years passed, and they nurtured their one-of-a-kind relationship. Then, OP turned 18, and she was accepted into an Ivy League college.
Her dad couldn’t afford it, but when Sara found out, she offered to pay for OP’s education. Understandably, OP’s dad was “over the moon” that his daughter’s dreams would come true.
Aside from supporting her education, OP shared that a year before sharing this story, OP’s fiancé started his own business. When Sara heard about OP’s fiancé trying to get his own business going, she was eager to invest in it.
Sara knew how difficult it could be to start a business by yourself. When she was 25, she opened her own business and underwent her own struggles she had to overcome; now, she and her husband are “filthy rich.”
Not a Kid Anymore
On the flip side, OP’s younger brother, Ryan, had recently graduated high school. Because of their family’s financial situation, he’s now looking at having to take out loans.
Helping Each Other Out
OP and her older brother, Tom, are helping Ryan out a bit already. But apparently, that wasn’t enough for OP’s stepmother.
Asking for a Big Favor
Kayla cornered OP and demanded she ask Sara for money to help Ryan. Kayla said Sara “obviously has a lot and no other kids.”
OP’s stepmother didn’t stop there, though. She added that since Sara had paid for OP’s college and invested in OP’s fiancé’s business, she could “definitely” help Ryan.
OP shut her stepmother down fast with a firm refusal. OP noted, “Now I know I do love Ryan a lot, but I couldn’t ask Sara to do that.”
Sara had always been so “kind and generous” to OP. She didn’t think she could take advantage of her biological mother in that way.
Going off the Deep End
Sadly, now, OP is tormented by Kayla, who continuously tells her she’s “abandoning them in their time of need.”
Kayla has even told OP that she’s just “jealous” and unable to be happy for “her sons,” as if they aren’t OP’s half-brothers. Simply put, Kayla’s been emotionally blackmailing and guilt-tripping OP since she refused in hopes of making her give in.
Ignorant of Family Drama
Unfortunately, OP couldn’t expect any help from her dad. OP’s father is in the dark, as she doesn’t want to stress him out.
His health has been poor as of late, and he’s also out of state to attend to her paternal grandparents while they receive medical treatment at a hospital. So, OP asked, “I am very confused. Am I the a**hole for refusing to ask Sara for the money?”
The Community’s Suggestions
The community agreed that OP most definitely wasn’t the a**hole and that her stepmother was way out of line.
One user said, “Not the a**hole. You’re absolutely right. Sara is generous to you—her biological child. She has no obligation to give money to your dad’s other kids and owes even less to Kayla. I would block Kayla and tell your dad pronto. Do not let Kayla continue to emotionally manipulate you, and allow him to stay in the dark about this. Quite frankly, he shouldn’t have allowed her to ignore you and treat you badly throughout your childhood, either. He can at least step up now.”
“You can just feel the jealousy Kayla has toward Sara and you—the woman her partner knocked up during their break is now filthy rich and providing for her husband’s child, whom she always neglected. The fact she accused you of being jealous and can’t be happy for her sons is her projecting. The entitlement she has is out of this world! Tell your dad, and hopefully, he’ll put an end to Kayla embarrassing herself. Just block Kayla and go about your life. I’m glad you’ve done well going to an Ivy League school and now have Sara in your life,” commented another Redditor.
Others chimed in to support OP’s decision. For them, OP should do all she can to protect her relationship with her biological mom.
A woman wrote, “Yeah, OP, you’re totally not the a**hole. Please do not ask Sara for money on behalf of Kayla. The truth is that Sara has helped Kayla because your dad and your household didn’t have to worry about your education. I’m an attorney, and education is expensive. I love that you’re generous—helping your brother—but this would likely tarnish your relationship with Sara moving forward, and you don’t want that.”
“Sounds like Sara already helped Kayla out by paying for you to go to college so your dad didn’t have to use his finances to help you and their resources could go to the other kids; honestly, that is the most she should ask of her husband’s ex who has no relationship with the other kids. She should be grateful you and your brother are trying to help when you don’t have to. It sounds like you have good sibling relationships, but asking your mom to pay is super weird and uncomfortable. You are not the a**hole,” commented another.
What do you think? Should OP have asked Sara for money, or was Kayla way out of line with her demands?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Ask Her Wealthy Biological Mother for Money for Her Half-Brother’s Education. Now Her Stepmom’s “Emotionally Blackmailing” Her, Saying She’s “Abandoning” Them and Is “Jealous” of Her Sons! on Quote Ambition.