This user agreed to help her brother and babysit his kids because they had just lost their daycare. She decided to assist temporarily, but two months passed, and she had had enough!
A Whole Gaggle
OP (Original Poster) is a 35-year-old woman married to her 42-year-old husband, Dustin. They have three children, all boys, aged 7, 5, and 8 months old.
The Family Herd
Chris, OP’s brother, is a 37-year-old man married to Rachel, a 33-year-old woman. They have two children, a 4-year-old girl and a 2-year-old boy.
Due to complications from the last pregnancy, OP has stayed home since her youngest was born. She intended to return to work after the first of the year, and her husband had already gone back to work after four months off.
Chris and Rachel approached OP and her husband two months before this story was posted because their daycare was closing, and they had nowhere for their kids to go.
They asked OP if she would be willing to watch them, and she said yes, as long as it wasn’t long-term.
When she told them she could, OP said her brother and sister-in-law were very thankful. They had been briefed on Wednesday that Friday would be the last day for their daycare, so they had been in a bind.
Everything Started Fine
Everything went well for the first couple of weeks, but OP and her husband started to wonder if they were even looking for a new place as time began to drag on.
While OP never asked, she also noted that her brother never offered to pay for anything to help while she watched the kids.
Coming to a Head
Things had been going fine, and the entire family and all the kids went to a park on a Saturday.
While they were there, OP decided to talk to her brother. She asked him if they had found a new daycare to take their children to.
More and More Excuses
OP’s brother told her they had checked out several places but had been put on waiting lists because nowhere had room for their kids. OP told her brother she understood but did remind him that their arrangement was supposed to be temporary.
A Little Help
With her taking care of both kids, OP asked her brother if he could give her $100 weekly to take care of both kids. OP’s brother freaked out and said that OP was being “outrageous” and that he couldn’t believe she would even ask because “they’re family.”
Sticks and Stones
OP tried to explain to her brother that she and her husband were spending much more money because they cared for his two children five days a week. At this, her brother called her “lazy” for still being on leave, even though OP’s baby was eight months old.
Enough Is Enough
At that point, OP had enough and told him she wouldn’t be watching the kids anymore. Since that happened, OP’s brother and sister-in-law blasted them on social media, causing several friends and family to start calling her and her husband “a**holes.”
Playing for Sympathy
The way OP’s brother and sister-in-law worded everything made them look like victims to the rest of the family. It was so bad that OP’s mother got involved, but once she figured out what was going on, she started siding with OP and her husband.
Piling It On
Chris, Rachel, and Rachel’s sister have kept at it the entire time. They have continually texted OP and her husband, calling them “selfish a**holes” for not helping them in their time of need.
However, OP and her husband don’t believe they did anything wrong, so they went to Reddit to find out what everyone else thought.
Redditors Chime In
Redditors came out in droves to support OP, many citing how inconsiderate and manipulative her brother and sister-in-law sounded.
One said, “Not the a**hole. It’s so hard to say no and stand firm on your boundaries. Good job! I ended up in your position for over a year because they needed a new daycare. And they never looked for one in my case. You and your husband have every right to say no to them using you like that. For all those calling you a**holes, tell them they are more than welcome to be full-time free daycare for those children.”
Another said, “Not the a**hole. Two months is way more than enough time for them to have found new daycare placements for their children. Their failure to even offer to contribute a nominal amount to help defray your added expenses is evidence that they are trying to take advantage of your generosity.”
Not a Free Ride
Most Redditors concluded that OP and her husband were being taken advantage of. They were also supportive of OP standing up for herself and her husband.
This Redditor brought a bit of humor into the conversation, saying, “Not the a**hole. Congratulations on closing your unpaid daycare center! They took your favor to them and turned it into an entitlement. After two months, they thought they had a good thing going and would never look for a costly alternative. Ignore the flying monkeys. Eventually, they’ll become tired and find another target.”
Do you think OP and her husband were being taken advantage of? Do they owe it to their family to continue watching their kids?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Continue Babysitting Her Brother’s Kids After Two Months of Free Labor. Now He Says She’s “Outrageous” and “Lazy” for Demanding Payment From “Family!” Was She a Jerk? on Quote Ambition.