Her boyfriend’s stepfather started an argument about veganism and vegan bacon over their family brunch. She tried so hard to remain calm, but she couldn’t stop herself this time!
Acceptance Is a Long Process
OP (Original Poster) is a 23-year-old woman who has been in a 3-year relationship with her 24-year-old boyfriend. His parents, specifically his mother and stepfather, and OP had their issues initially.
After two years, however, it appeared as though they had accepted her. Although she wouldn’t forget certain things they said about or toward her, she felt it went uphill.
Embracing the Vegan Lifestyle
Then, five months before posting on Reddit, OP decided to go vegan, and her boyfriend has been very supportive of it that even he eats a lot of vegan food now. His mom would also prepare something for OP to eat whenever they visited his parents.
OP wrote, “I told her thank you and how much I appreciate that.”
As Respectful as She Could Be
She has never commented on their food or started a conversation about being vegan, as she knows it’s not the time or place to do that. She also realizes that they are not interested in the topic, and she’s just glad they’re getting along well.
However, a couple of weeks before OP posted this story, things took a turn for the worse. She explained that it was her boyfriend’s 24th birthday, and they had brunch at his parents’ house with his sister and brother-in-law.
OP shared, “My boyfriend provided the food, and his mom, him, and I prepared it together at their house. My boyfriend wanted to have everything on the table available in vegan, too. He wanted it not just for me but also for his family to try some if they wanted to.”
Then, OP’s boyfriend put bacon—both the usual and the vegan one—on the table. At that moment, OP, his stepdad, and his sister were the only ones at the table.
That’s when his boyfriend’s stepdad loudly commented about how “stupid” the idea of vegan bacon is. He said, “Who even needs that nonsense?”
Well, That Escalated Quickly!
Despite his rude comments, OP didn’t think much of it and nicely responded that vegan bacon was a good alternative for people who like the taste of bacon but don’t like eating “body parts.”
Then, he got furious and complained that he’d never heard of such “nonsense,” referring to meat being called “body parts.” He also said that it was “stupid.”
No Chance of Letting Go
OP’s boyfriend’s sister asked him if he was alright and asked him to calm down. However, when it was time to eat, and OP asked her boyfriend’s brother-in-law to pass the vegan egg salad, his stepdad asked her if she was now going to eat “dead baby animals.”
So, she responded that, technically, there’s no “baby” unless it’s a fertilized egg, but those weren’t real eggs anyway; they’re fake, just like the bacon. By then, OP’s boyfriend’s mother stepped in and said everyone should eat their own food and leave others alone.
Still on About the Meat Thing
Several days after that brunch, her boyfriend’s parents talked to him about the issue, and his stepfather said he wasn’t happy with how things went. He noted that OP was “disrespectful” to him by calling meat “body parts.”
He also argued that, if anything, it’s a “cadaver” and not a “body” since it’s an animal and not human.
Her Opinion Says Otherwise
OP just honestly thinks it’s ridiculous and admits that she could’ve just ignored her boyfriend’s stepdad.
She added, “But I don’t really see why I would sit there and let him talk like that, which, in my opinion, was disrespectful in the first place.”
Why Is It on Me?
Now, her boyfriend wants her to “fix” the situation, which she is ready to do for his sake. However, in all honesty, she doesn’t think she’s the one who owes an apology, and she also doesn’t want his parents to think it’s okay.
She wrote, “All I think about this and especially his stepdad right now is, like, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
A German Discussion
To further clarify, their native language is German, and they were speaking that the whole time. The original word she used was “Leichenteile,” “leiche” means dead body, and “teile” means parts.
On the other hand, OP’s boyfriend’s stepfather used the word “kadaver,” which is more common when speaking of an animal body but also describes the human body. It is typically used when it comes to a body, whether animal or human, that started rotting.
OP added, “‘Leiche’ and ‘kadaver’ are both, per definition, words to describe either a dead human or dead animal. They are synonyms.”
Confrontational and Apologetic
In an update, OP shared that she will apologize for her wording since it means that much to her boyfriend’s stepdad and also for the sake of peace.
She wrote, “I will also be clear about him disrespecting me, too, because me apologizing for my response doesn’t excuse him at all. Depending on his response, I’ll see what’s next.”
What the Community Has to Say
Meat-eaters shared their opinion on OP’s situation, and even they think she was absolutely right.
The top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. I’m an avid meat-eater, half my family is in the butcher business, and I dislike preachy vegans as much as anyone. OP was not being preachy. The stepdad instigated this entire thing. His comments were unnecessary and rude, especially considering his son’s girlfriend of three years is a vegan. And I see very little failing on OP’s part here.”
The same person wrote, “Meat, literally, is body parts. That’s not some kind of insult; that is the reality of meat. It’s no more an insult than saying someone having a salad is eating plants. Anyone getting so bent out of shape over that just doesn’t like to confront the reality of what they’re eating.”
Making an Issue
Some people also think that maybe OP’s boyfriend’s stepdad was trying to pick a fight over anything. If he wanted to ask something, he should’ve asked nicely, but he was obviously rude about it.
A user wrote, “I have to go with not the a**hole. It’s clear the stepdad was attempting to be combative and start something out of nothing. If he doesn’t understand why something exists, he can ask or just be quiet. It’s not hard.”
The same Redditor added, “As for calling something body parts, you weren’t even wrong. It is a body part from an animal. That’s not a bad thing. The only reason he responded negatively is because he wanted to be a bully over vegan bacon and expected you to back down and accept it.”
Do you agree with her boyfriend’s stepdad? Was OP wrong for being vegan and saying what she said?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Eat “Body Parts” During a Brunch With Her Boyfriend’s Family. Now His Stepdad’s Furious, Saying Veganism Is “Nonsensical” and “Stupid!” Was She Being a Disrespectful Jerk? on Quote Ambition.