She was so kind to help her sister financially, so she was utterly shocked and furious to see she posted something negative about her and her kids. How can she insult them like that?
Got That Sisterly Bond
OP (Original Poster) and her sister have a 10-year age gap. However, despite their differences, they are pretty close.
Her sister decided to pursue a degree in medicine, and since it takes up a lot of her time, she can’t earn enough working. At the same time, her sibling’s boyfriend’s salary is not enough to fully support the two of them.
Out of the goodness of her heart, OP offered to support her sister since she could afford it and wanted to help for her future. OP has paid for her food, rent, and car expenses.
A Happy Accident
Around December of the year OP posted this story, she found out she was pregnant and told people about it in January of the following year. She was very excited to have the baby as another addition to the family, as she already had two kids.
OP had twins in her first pregnancy, and even though this one was unplanned, she was happy regardless.
A Social Media Rant
Everything was going well until one day, OP and her sister’s mutual friend sent her a screenshot of her sibling’s post about how “selfish” and “stupid” she was to have another baby in a global health crisis.
Her sister even questioned why she’d want another “spoiled brat crotch goblin” in the first place.
Cutting Her Off
She immediately saw red, and in a fit of rage, OP texted her sister that she would no longer support her financially and would just “stupidly and selfishly” spend her money on herself and her “crotch goblins.”
OP wrote, “Let me tell you, I’ve never gotten a phone call faster.”
Fishing for Pity
On the call, OP’s sister was crying, saying she couldn’t support herself and would have to quit her degree and get a job. OP just hung up.
Several hours later, her sister called again, saying that her boyfriend refused to support her alone and threatened to leave her if she didn’t quit her degree and find work.
But OP doesn’t want to give in. After all, she supported her sister out of kindness and received disrespect in return.
She doesn’t have to give her money since it’s hers. Given the development, OP’s husband also agreed with her decision.
All on Her Sister’s Side
Although it was pretty obvious why OP decided to cut her sister off, many of their mutual friends say that OP is “ruining” her sister’s life over a “stupid post” and that what she did was a “huge a**hole move.” She even received many angry calls and text messages over this.
Opinions Don’t Equate to Insults
OP completely understands why her sister thinks she was being selfish because that’s her opinion, and she’s entitled to it. But if she had left it as just an opinion, OP wouldn’t be upset.
A Crack That Can’t Be Fixed
However, hearing that she thought of her kids as “spoiled brat crotch goblins” and her as “stupid and selfish” is not something a person can easily accept. It’s an insult, and OP has every right to be upset about it.
OP wrote, “She was insulting and derogatory toward me and my family, which I don’t have to accept. Honestly, the relationship is already ruined. She made it clear she has no respect for my kids or me. The only thing I’m considering is if I should stop financially supporting her since she can get higher loans anyway, but she’ll be more in debt than she would have been.”
What the Community Thinks
OP is obviously not the a**hole in this matter, and her sister was clearly wrong for insulting her and her kids despite getting all the help from her.
According to the top commenter, “Not the a**hole. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. It’s none of her business how many kids you have and when you have them. It sounds like this wasn’t a planned pregnancy anyway, just a happy surprise. If she can’t afford to support herself while getting a degree, she should’ve thought twice about talking trash about the person helping her out financially.”
However, some think that OP should have a conversation with her sister. One even reasoned that maybe it was only stress that caused her sibling to post something like that.
A commenter said, “Not the a**hole. It’s your money. That said, I would perhaps ask her why she felt the need to make those comments. She’s likely very stressed out and lashed out at anything that she could. In this case, it was you. It doesn’t make it right, and it’s not okay. But I would imagine that it was something said in the heat of the moment to vent off steam.”
The same person added, “My advice is to talk to your sister. She’s likely very sorry. My second piece of advice is to get a contract, make the help a loan instead of a gift, and have a repayment schedule at low or no interest. Good luck. Family is tough.”
It Wasn’t the First Time
OP’s sister should learn how to be a good person, as Redditors said, because, in so many ways, she was the one who acted ungrateful and even insulted the person who gave her money.
“Not the a**hole. You supported her, and the least you can expect from her is some respect. Gossiping and bad-mouthing behind your back and then taking your money made your sister the a**hole here. It’s your money and your choice. I wouldn’t tolerate such behavior, and surely it wasn’t a one-time thing. Nobody uses such words as a first-time insult,” commented one Redditor.
The same Redditor wrote, “She should become a decent human being before proceeding with her career. If she is passionate about it, she can take a break, earn money, and continue with getting her degree.”
One user then suggested OP make a contract if she decides to still help her sister, so, in the end, she will have to pay everything back.
“Not the a**hole. I’m guessing she has not apologized or even sounded remorseful. You are doing this out of kindness; she obviously doesn’t care. Now, if she truly wants the financial help, make her sign a contract to repay all of the money with interest, and she can keep the help. As many have said before, play stupid games, win stupid prizes,” one user said.
What do you think? Was OP the wrong one in this situation?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Financially Support Her Sister After She Horribly Insulted Her and Her Kids, Calling Her “Selfish and Stupid” and Her Children “Spoiled, Bratty Goblins!” Was She Wrong? on Quote Ambition.