A woman wanted to help her brother have a baby shower after his wife got pregnant. She had a miscarriage and thought it would help her heal, but her brother made it into a joke!
One Among Many
OP (Original Poster) is the oldest sibling and has three younger brothers who are triplets. All three are one year younger than OP, and they have always been rough on her as the only girl.
Picking up the Slack
OP has always been there for her brothers, often acting as a second mom when they needed her and taking care of what their parents couldn’t. It was due to this that she had always felt close to her brothers, and they had a great relationship.
New Life Flickers
One of OP’s brothers had gotten married, and it was announced that they were expecting a baby girl. OP was beside herself with excitement, thrilled at the thought of becoming an aunt.
All You Could Want
No matter how one looked at things, it’s safe to say that she was simply ecstatic!
She said, “I love this baby with all of my heart, being that this is my first niece, and I plan on spoiling her because I’m financially stable, and even though I’m not wealthy, I still have a good amount of spending money.”
Masking Her Sorrow
One of the reasons that OP was so excited and emotional was that she had gone through a miscarriage. Two years before her niece would be born, she and her husband had suffered through a difficult pregnancy and miscarriage, and the thought of having a niece was healing for her.
A Sad Reality
On the flip side, OP explained that her brother was “traditional and wanted to be the sole breadwinner” for his family. Sadly, they didn’t have the money for a baby shower, no matter how badly they wanted it.
Coming Through for Him
OP knew they couldn’t afford it, so she offered to pay for the baby shower. She wanted it to be a wonderful time for both her brother and his wife, but also for the extended families on both sides.
For the Future
As OP had said, she was already in love with her niece and would do anything to help. She and her husband took care of the cost by coordinating with the couple and buying everything the expecting couple wanted to make the baby shower as perfect as possible.
The Big Day Approaches
A couple of weeks before the baby shower, OP and her family had gathered to watch a football game at their parents’ house. Everyone had a wonderful time, and the topic of the baby and the baby shower had come up when her brother decided to tell a joke.
A Grim Joke
In the middle of the game, after they had discussed all the planned activities and baby shower stuff, her brother said, “I’m glad my wife is in working condition so we could be the first ones to have a baby. It feels good to be the first sibling for something.”
Shock and Agony
OP had been stunned by her brother’s words as soon as they left his mouth. He had known how excited she was to have a baby and how difficult the miscarriage had been on her and her husband.
Fleeing the Scene
It had taken OP and her husband a long time to recover from the miscarriage, and her brother’s words had reopened wounds. OP left the party and went home, where she cried and blocked her brother on her phone and messengers.
A Broken Heart
OP was heartbroken, especially after she had done everything she could to give her brother the best baby shower possible.
She sent him a message, saying, “We won’t be paying for your baby shower anymore. What you did was horrible, and I don’t want to speak to you again.”
Reaching Out
OP’s brother told her family what she said and what happened. They had been trying to reach her, but she didn’t want to speak about it or talk to them, so she hadn’t.
She wrote, “Everyone did not agree with this comment, and the sister-in-law was p***** he even said something so rude.”
Unlikely Support
OP’s sister-in-law disagreed with her husband, and she ensured that OP knew it. She couldn’t believe her husband had done something so cruel and apologized on behalf of him, telling OP she “understood her decision.”
With this, OP wrote, “I think I might be the a**hole because I’m taking away the moment from not just him but our family as well.”
What the Community Says
Redditors were definitely on OP’s side on this one. Some spoke of how cruel her brother was, and others spoke of how painful miscarriages were.
One said of their own experience, “Not the a**hole. It’s been 33 years since my wife miscarried. It’s still not something we bring up. There are so many people who don’t understand the pain the parents endure when a miscarriage happens.”
Another brought up her brother’s cruelty, saying, “Not the a**hole. Your brothers weren’t rough on you because you’re a girl. They were rough on you because they were bullies, and it sounds as though this brother still is. I also have three brothers, and they would never, ever have said something so cruel and mean-spirited. Your brother can’t have it both ways. He can’t be an a**hole to you and then expect you to still pay for a baby shower. Your family is probably trying to contact you so they don’t get stuck with the bill.”
Justified Anger
For the community, OP had all the right to be angry.
One Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. Please cut him off. He’s insensitive and cruel. It wasn’t meant to be a joke. Also, the fact he views women as tools for conception is downright disturbing as hell.”
“What your brother said was horrible and completely uncalled for. I would’ve dropped the baby shower, too. Not the a**hole,” added one woman.
What do you think about the “joke” that her brother told? Was she right to cancel the baby shower, or was she being selfish?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Fund Her Brother’s Baby Shower After He Joked That Her Body’s “Broken” Because of Her Miscarriage. She’s Been Nothing but Supportive While He’s Just “Inconsiderate” and “Insensitive!” on Quote Ambition.
