A woman was about to get married and returned home so her future husband could meet her extended family. While there, her father learned he wasn’t invited to the wedding and broke down in tears!
Meet the Family
OP (Original Poster) is a 28-year-old woman who is marrying Dave, a 28-year-old man. She took him to her hometown before the wedding so he could meet her father and extended family.
Not Everyone Is Around
OP had already introduced her fiancé to her brothers and mother, but he had never met her father or other family members. OP had a good reason for this, as she hadn’t seen her father much since she was 16!
A Turbulent Family
When OP was 16, her parents got divorced. Her father had cheated on her mother with a well-known escort in the area that he ended up marrying.
One Thing After Another
Not only did OP have to deal with having a broken family at the age of 16, but everyone knew what her stepmother did. Having a stepmother who was an escort meant that OP was constantly getting ridiculed for what her stepmom did.
Not a Secret
When OP was in high school, people weren’t as open-minded about s** work as they are now. Her stepmother was also very “confident and vocal” about her job, so in her senior year, OP had to change schools.
She simply couldn’t handle being made fun of because of her dad and stepmom anymore!
Things Got Worse
Her older brother even got into a big fight because someone commented they would “call their stepmom for a good time.” He was so furious that he blew up.
Unfortunately, the fight had gotten him suspended from school.
OP and her brothers stayed with their mother and didn’t have much to do with their father or stepmother, even though their father wanted equal custody of them. Her brothers, 17 and 14 at the time, agreed with her and didn’t spend time with their father.
Once they had made it clear to their father that they didn’t want to spend half their time with him and his new wife, he stopped trying to see them. As a result, they didn’t interact much with their father going forward.
When OP finished high school, she left her small town home and moved to the big city for college. Her brothers did the same so their mother would visit them, and they had no reason to return home.
As a result of this, they hadn’t seen their father in around 10 years. That was until they returned home and had a dinner party with their aunt, who had invited OP’s father and stepmother.
OP said she was polite but awkward, and her fiancé was doing all the talking. When her stepmother asked when the wedding was, OP’s fiancé told her it was the 2nd of December.
A Small List
OP’s stepmother was surprised and asked, “Wow, and you still haven’t sent out invites?”
This caused OP’s fiancé to defer to her, and she answered, saying, “We have sent out invites, but our guest list is limited. We are only inviting our closest friends and family, so I couldn’t find room for you or Dad, sorry.”
Limited Ceremony and Understanding
OP’s stepmom smiled and said she understood, as they were only inviting people close to them.
After all, the entire wedding was only going to have 30 guests.
The Truth Is Out
The next day, OP’s dad came to their Airbnb and asked them why he and his wife weren’t invited. He told OP he would feel like a “failure” as a father if he couldn’t walk her down the aisle as she was his only daughter.
No Longer Faking It
OP told her father the truth about their situation and said, “It makes me sad that my dad won’t walk me down the aisle either, but I’m not going to make a fuss about that tradition when we have barely spoken since I was 16. We don’t have a father-daughter relationship, and I’m not going to pretend like we do just for my wedding.”
It was the truth, and there was no doubt that it hurt both parties.
Shot to the Heart
OP’s father started crying after she said that to him. He asked her how long she would keep “punishing” him for what happened between him and her mom.
He said he felt he “lost” his children 12 years ago, and this was like the “final nail in the coffin.”
OP let her father know she didn’t resent him or the divorce that had happened all those years ago. She simply wasn’t interested in faking a relationship with them when they hadn’t been close in over 10 years.
What Redditors Say
Many Redditors were shocked at her father’s behavior, given how long they had been estranged.
Many noted that her father was the one who had made this all happen, saying, “Not the a**hole. Your dad is feeling like a failure because he is a failure of a dad. The audacity of people! I can’t believe he broke up your family like that, hooking up with an escort and expecting you to have him walk you down the aisle like some kind of upstanding father. Ridiculous.”
This sentiment was shared by almost all involved, with another adding, “Not the a**hole. He prioritized his new relationship over you and your siblings. He didn’t care that you had to move schools due to the mockery he exposed you to. He lost his father’s status a long time ago.”
Water Under the Bridge
Redditors unanimously backed OP and saw nothing wrong with what she had done.
The most basic reply seemed to share the general mood of the comments, saying, “He chose himself over his family. What did he expect? Not the a**hole.”
“You handled it perfectly, honestly. There’s a vast spectrum between resentment and a healthy relationship, and your dad doesn’t get to guilt you into a relationship that doesn’t exist. Don’t let the consequences that he’s now fully realizing weigh on you at all. Not the a**hole,” said the top commenter.
What do you think about what OP’s father did? Did she handle the situation well, or should she have let her father walk her down the aisle?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Invite Her Estranged Dad and Stepmom to Her Wedding, Not Considering Them “Family.” He’s Devastated, Saying She’s Been “Punishing” Him for Over a Decade! Was She Wrong? on Quote Ambition.