Her sister kept giving away their late mom’s precious jewelry to their stepmom and stepsister. So, when she asked OP (Original Poster) to lend her another piece, she refused, knowing it wouldn’t be returned!
Precious Family Heirlooms
OP, a 26-year-old woman, and her 22-year-old sister lost their mom when they were only 6 and 2. Their mom had a lot of jewelry, and it was explicitly stated in her will which pieces each daughter would get.
What a Quick Transition!
Then, a year later, before OP could fully recover from her mom’s death, her dad married Jane. Soon, they became a family of five, with Jane’s daughter, Norah, who was just a year older than OP’s sister.
As OP’s sister was young when they lost their mom, she considered Jane her real mom and Norah, her real sister.
Too Generous for Her Own Good
When OP’s sister was 10, she started giving away the jewelry she got from their mom to Jane and Norah. She felt they were more than just her stepfamily and deserved the pieces of jewelry as well.
OP, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. She wrote, “I always refused to let them borrow pieces from me.”
Just a Proxy
Jane had always “rubbed OP the wrong way” because she said that her mom was not OP’s sister’s mom anymore. Jane noted that their biological mom was just a “stand-in” until her sister’s “real mom,” referring to herself, could come into her sister’s life.
Disregarding Their Sentimental Value
Jane even said that it was “disgusting” for OP to think that it’s a bad thing for her sister to share pretty jewelry with “no real meaning” with her “family.”
OP added, “She said I was the one who was rejecting a mom and sister.”
After years of giving away their mom’s jewelry, OP’s sister now has nothing left of what she inherited from their mother. So, when her sister was graduating high school, she was upset about not having anything to wear—or so it appeared.
A Bracelet on Loan
Because of this, she asked OP if she could borrow a bracelet their mom left OP.
She wrote, “I was like sure, just give it back after. But my sister gave it to Jane after, and it took months for me to get it back. I told Jane I would escalate the situation if I didn’t. Everyone, meaning my dad, my sister, Jane, and Norah, thought I was s***** for that.”
The Best Among the Rest
It’s been years since the incident happened, and now, OP’s mom’s necklace was the root of their problems.
OP explained that she inherited a necklace, which was her mom’s favorite piece of jewelry, and OP has always worn it ever since her mom died. She even wore it on her wedding day!
Not a Chance
OP’s sister knows it was their mom’s favorite because of the photos she’s seen. So, she wanted to borrow the necklace for her to wear at her wedding.
She wrote, “I was like no f****** way. I told her I had made it clear after the graduation incident that she was never borrowing another piece from me again, and I told her that if she wants something of mom’s to wear, she should take back the stuff she gave away.”
Voicing Her Thoughts
That’s when her sister lost it with her and yelled at her. She said OP has always held things against her.
For OP’s sister, it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t put their mom on a pedestal and that OP rejected everyone who came into their lives after.
Her Sister’s Accusations
OP’s sister said she didn’t have the right to throw things like that in her face, even though she didn’t. Her sister even mentioned she should be allowed to wear something of their mom’s to her wedding, just like OP did when she married.
Her sibling broke down, told her she was selfish and awful, and accused her of “taking pleasure in doing this to her” and that OP “sucked” for “ruining” her wedding.
Is She Worth Another Chance?
OP started to contemplate whether she was wrong or not. Her mother is her sister’s mom as well, and she’s denying her the chance to try again now that she’s a little older.
She added, “This could very well mean something to her, and I’m possibly cruel for not trying to find a compromise for her to wear it.”
However, after what happened with the bracelet, OP doesn’t trust her sister enough to let her borrow the necklace. Her sister has already broken her trust by doing what she did and being unapologetic about it.
OP also doesn’t know what happened with the jewelry her sister gave away to her stepmom and stepsister. When she asked about it, she was told it was “none of her business.”
What Redditors Think of the Issue
People believe OP has every right to refuse anyone who tries to borrow her jewelry since it’s hers, especially the necklace. If her sister really wants to borrow her jewelry, then she shouldn’t have broken OP’s trust in the first place.
A Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. It’s your jewelry. If your sister valued the thought of wearing or owning something that belonged to your mom, she should have kept her pieces instead of giving them away to someone who had ‘no real meaning’ towards the jewelry in terms of sentimental value. If she understands the sentimentality of having your mother’s jewelry, she should have promptly returned your bracelet, not given your bracelet to your stepsister without asking you.”
The same person added, “You can’t trust her. Either her own sense of propriety is warped, or your stepmom and stepsister have some undue influence on her. She can get hers back or deal with it. The biggest a**holes here are the stepmom and stepsister to manipulate a child who lost their mother to just take somebody else’s jewelry passed down from a relative. I hate the term how it’s used most of the time, but here, ‘gold digger’ is very much appropriate.”
Why Not Ask Her “Family?”
Some Redditors said OP’s sister should ask Jane and Norah for her jewelry instead of borrowing OP’s. They even suggested OP talk to her father about it.
A commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Your sister can ask Jane or Norah. Your necklace isn’t just ‘technically’ yours, but legally, and after the bracelet debacle, you’re right not to trust her. You should address this with your father; it’s a shame he didn’t have your back the first time.”
She Was Manipulated!
For some, OP’s sister might not have been at fault for giving away her jewelry to Jane and Norah if she was just a kid when she did it. It’s possible it was all their stepfamily’s doing.
A Redditor commented, “Who instigated the giving away of the jewelry, and at what age? If it was when your sister was under about 15, I think it’s fair to say she was pressured by Jane into severing any emotional attachment to her birth mother, in which case the a**hole here is Jane. It may then have been kind to consider lending jewelry under very strict and clear conditions. Although I accept the only practical way is to ask for a deposit, leading to inevitable fireworks there. If older than that, then your sister is the a**hole.”
Was OP wrong for refusing to let her sister borrow the necklace? What do you think OP should do?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Lend Her Sister the Necklace She Inherited From Her Mom on Her Wedding Day. Now Her Evil Stepmom Says She’s “Disgusting” for Being Stingy About “Meaningless” Jewelry! on Quote Ambition.