OP’s (Original Poster) boyfriend opened up to her about his financial problems and suddenly asked her for $5,000. However, she’s uncomfortable loaning him money this early in the relationship!
Their Relationship
OP and her boyfriend have only been dating for three months. However, she said they both love each other very much, and she sees a future with him.
Meet Her Boyfriend
She shared that her boyfriend immigrated to her country three years ago and is on a student visa.
He’s Self-Supporting
OP shared that her boyfriend’s family does not financially support him. And, given that he’s on a student visa, “He has to pay exorbitant visa fees and full-fee student fees.”
Because of his independence and determination, OP said, “I’ve always admired and respected his ambitions.”
Financial Woes
Recently, OP’s boyfriend started talking to her about his financial troubles. She said he basically asked if she could loan him $5,000.
OP said her boyfriend knew she had around $55,000 in savings and didn’t pay much for living expenses. She shared, “He also knows that I don’t pay too many living expenses besides fuel, groceries, and a phone bill.”
Her Hesitation
However, OP was hesitant to lend her boyfriend money. She said she was very protective of her money, especially since she worked and studied 24/7 to maintain it.
Ready to Support Her Dad
OP also wanted to be financially ready to support her dad if he ever needed help. She said he would be retiring from work soon after a heart attack.
She mentioned in her post, “I like having my savings as security, knowing that I could financially support him if needed.”
Saying No
OP considered all these things and told her boyfriend no. She said she wasn’t comfortable loaning him money this early into their relationship.
Conversations Filled With Anger
Her boyfriend immediately got mad, and he turned the conversation on her. She said he was angry at her for not loaning him money because she would get a $10,000 breast augmentation the following year.
You’re Selfish!
OP’s boyfriend ended by saying that she was “selfish” for spending money “on her body rather than him.”
Was I Wrong?
OP explained that she thinks she might be the a**hole in this story because she can financially help. She’s starting to get swayed by her boyfriend’s words and says that maybe she was wrong to refuse to help him because she “had enough money for a boob job.”
What Redditors Think About the Issue
People are calling out OP’s boyfriend for all his red flags. One said, “He’s upset with her spending her own money on herself, and they have been together three months—what?! No way, run, do not walk from this guy! I’m sorry, but he’s a mooch and thinks he’s found a sugar mama.”
He’s a Scammer
There were even Redditors who were saying that OP’s boyfriend was trying to scam her. So, she should be vigilant and not fall for his tricks!
A Redditor said, “Not the a**hole. He is trying to scam you. Run. Run fast.” Another wrote, “Not the a**hole. You’ve only been together three months, and he feels entitled to your money. That’s a huge red flag. Don’t give in to his pressure—he’ll only make more and more demands.”
Deportation?
OP replied to one of the Redditors’ comments and gave her boyfriend’s explanation as to why he needed the money. She said, “He told me that he would get deported if he couldn’t pay his student fees.”
However, the community doesn’t want her to put her guard down. One replied to her and said, “Emotional blackmail—another red flag. It’s not your responsibility to pay his bills. He knew what his expenses were before coming here. What was his plan if he didn’t start a relationship with someone with a decent amount of savings?”
What Are Your Thoughts on This Issue?
Do you also think OP’s boyfriend is just trying to scam her? What would you advise her to do?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Loan Her Boyfriend $5,000 Out of Her $55,000 Savings and Got Called Selfish and Unreliable on Quote Ambition.
