A young woman inherited her apartment and doesn’t have to pay rent. Her boyfriend wants to move in together but refuses to live with her and wants a new place and to split the rent!
Tragic Real Estate
OP (Original Poster) is a 23-year-old woman who inherited an apartment from her father. It was in her name because she was her father’s only child, and he had never been married.
Sadly, her father had died during peak COVID-19, and that was when the apartment passed on to her.
OP went to school in a different city, so she had to wait until graduation to move into her apartment. As soon as she graduated, that’s what she did, and she had been living there for a year.
A New Man
Soon after moving to her new city, OP met her current boyfriend. They had been dating for just over a year, and everything had been going great.
OP said that she was lonely a lot and things had been getting serious with her boyfriend. So, OP had started asking him to spend the night a lot, which he did.
Putting Down Roots
After some time, her boyfriend asked her if she wanted to move in together, and she was excited by the prospect. Since he was always staying over anyway, she thought it made good sense.
Making an Assumption
Since she had her own apartment that she didn’t have to pay rent for, OP assumed her boyfriend would want to move in with her. OP was surprised when her boyfriend sent her links to other apartments in the area.
Why Would We Do That?
OP talked to her boyfriend and brought up the fact that they should live in her apartment since they wouldn’t have rent. He said that he wouldn’t be comfortable with that because it was in her name, and he’d have no say over anything.
A New Beginning
OP’s boyfriend told her that if they moved in together to a new place, they would have an equal say in it. She understood his point but decided to be honest and told him there was no way she would move out of her amazing, “free” apartment.
Logical and Sensible
OP didn’t see the point in moving to another apartment in the same area where she would have to pay rent. She even reminded her boyfriend that he would have tenant rights if they moved in together, and she wouldn’t ask him to invest in the apartment or maintenance.
Not Good Enough
Sadly, he disagreed. OP’s boyfriend said he was looking out for himself and wouldn’t be comfortable with that arrangement.
He even suggested to OP that she could “move out and rent the apartment” to use the income to help pay for their shared apartment.
Are You Kidding?
That idea went nowhere because OP had no intention of becoming a landlord. She already had a full-time job and didn’t want to add the stress and issues that come with being a landlord on top of things.
Rethinking the Situation
OP and her boyfriend talked a lot about the situation but couldn’t come to a compromise. So, in the end, she told her boyfriend that “maybe they shouldn’t move in together” until they could devise a way to compromise later.
Her boyfriend didn’t like that and said that he was hurt she would put her apartment ahead of him. He said he couldn’t believe she wouldn’t put in any effort for them to live together and that she was “materialistic” for being more attached to her apartment than their relationship.
A Damaged Relationship
Given everything that had happened, OP and her boyfriend now had a strained relationship. She didn’t know if she was right and wanted to get some perspective from Redditors.
She asked, “Am I the a**hole?”
Redditors’ Two Cents
Redditors were quick to respond and let OP know that she wasn’t wrong. Many of them even pointed out how strange her boyfriend’s behavior was.
One said, “Not the a**hole. It does not make sense for you to take on additional expenses to placate his insecurities and empower his need to control. If he decides to move in, then make sure you consult a lawyer before.”
Many Redditors noticed he seemed to be showing red flags about being controlling. One said it best when they said, “Not the a**hole. You moving out to live with him and pay rent makes no sense. It’s completely illogical, and the fact that he thinks you should is seriously bizarre. I would be worried because it means he is unable to look at this from your perspective—and it’s an obvious, logical one and instead is stuck looking at it from the point of view of what’s most convenient for him. He wants you to do something absurd, impractical, and financially damaging in order for him to be more comfy, I guess? And he doesn’t recognize that his request is unreasonable and inappropriate. It’s a red flag. Do not move out.”
A Bizarre Boyfriend Drama
Many Redditors agreed that OP should consider this a red flag and avoid the relationship.
One even went so far as to say, “Don’t move in with him. He’s controlling. I hope you can see that. You would be the a**hole to yourself if you did move in with him.”
“OP, it’s not about feeling right; it’s about not being dumb about this. You own this outright; he should draw up a tenancy agreement. But let’s be real, it’s not about the rent. He’s controlling. Because in no way does any of this make reasonable sense. He doesn’t want to pay rent at your place. But he wants you to leave a place you own just to live with him and waste money. No way,” commented another.
Do you think OP should give up her rent-free apartment? Is her boyfriend controlling, and she would be better off without him?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Move In With Her Boyfriend and Pay Rent When She Owned Her Own Apartment. Now He’s Accusing Her of Being “Materialistic” for Putting Others Above Their Relationship! on Quote Ambition.