Her sister doesn’t want to change her wedding dates even if many of their family cannot come. She’s so entitled she thinks she should be prioritized and accuses them of “not caring enough” about her!
Nuptials in the Making
OP (Original Poster), a 23-year-old woman, has a 30-year-old sister who got engaged several months before this story happened. She and her fiancé were planning their wedding for the upcoming spring.
Half a World Away
However, there’s a bit of distance between them. OP lives in France with her mother and older sister, while her sister lives in Los Angeles, California.
So, OP has asked her sibling several times the exact dates she plans to marry to avoid overlaps.
A Huge Milestone
She is graduating at the same time her sister plans to get married, and she can’t just be absent and fly to the US during her finals week.
Having a Positive Outlook
OP clarified that her final exams were oral, and if she passed, she would immediately receive her diploma printed right out in the office. She would graduate that same weekend as well.
Adjusting for Failure
However, if she fails, she must retake them on the weekend.
She noted, “Exams are Thursday or Friday depending on group, graduation, and party on Saturday. If I fail, the exam is on Saturday, and the diploma is handed out right before the graduation event.”
Assuming the Worst
Of course, OP doesn’t assume that she will fail. She’s even willing to miss her graduation party for her sister!
Still, she doesn’t want to book a flight and waste a ton of money if she ever fails and has to retake her test on Saturday.
Mom’s Necessary Attendance
Besides, OP’s mother also wants to go to her graduation since she’s done so for all of her kids. She refuses to miss out on the same milestone for OP.
However, because OP constantly asked about the timeframe, her sibling got extremely annoyed and told her to set her “priorities” straight, saying she should “put her family first.”
An Inconsiderate and Dramatic Bride
The problem with that is OP clearly told her sister she’s unable to come in the spring, and the same goes for the rest of her family from France. But she didn’t care and accused them of “not caring enough” about her.
Ignoring the Signs
OP suggested other timeframes where she had a vacation or no exams. Sadly, her sister turned a blind eye to them and chose a period OP most likely could not attend.
No Use Bargaining
Her sister reasoned that it was because of financial matters, which OP understands. However, she still feels a compromise could have been possible.
It’s Her Wedding Day After All
Now, she’s wondering if she was right to be upset. Given that, in the end, she doesn’t want to be blamed for not being there for her sister during one of the biggest moments of her life.
For users, the answer already came from OP’s sister’s mouth: family first. So, why couldn’t she apply it to herself?
The top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. This isn’t your fault, even if she wants to pretend that it is. She is responsible for the timing of this. She needs to change the date to show that she puts her family first.”
Another person agreed, saying, “Yep. If the sister thinks family should be put first, why didn’t she take into consideration the apparent multiple family members, including a sibling that would need to travel half the world to attend?”
Importance Versus Equality
According to Redditors, if OP’s sister thinks she has concerns and reasons, then the same goes for other people, and they’re not about to adjust their whole life just for her wedding. Of course, it is significant, but OP’s graduation is also important because it’s something she worked hard for.
“Sometimes, schedules and finances are just going to conflict. Further, her reason for the dates she selected is practical and financial, so I’m not sure why she would think the rest of the world doesn’t function on the same terms,” a Redditor said.
Someone added, saying, “Yep. And I hate to be blunt, but OP has spent years working to finish college and graduate. All her sister did was agree to marry. Those are not equivalent. Yes, I get that getting married is a huge step and commitment; what I’m saying is that the effort for both is not the same. Not to mention, OP doesn’t control the college schedule, whereas her sister has total control over her wedding date.”
Trying to Be the Victim
Some people think OP’s sister was trying to start something out of nothing.
One person said, “Not the a**hole. You gave notice about your availability, and she deliberately ignored it. Maybe it was some kind of power play to show that she’s the most important, or she was looking for drama.”
Another commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Your sister doesn’t really want you and possibly your family there. What she does want is to be able to cry and moan about how much her family doesn’t love her enough to come to her wedding.”
What would you do if you were OP? Which is more important, her graduation or her sister’s wedding?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Skip Her College Graduation to Attend Her Sister’s Wedding. Now Her Sibling’s Furious, Saying She Needs to Learn Her “Priorities” And “Put Family First!” Was She Selfish? on Quote Ambition.