This Redditor’s parents started guilt-tripping her after she refused to help her sister pay for her college education. But in all honesty, she thinks she doesn’t deserve the help!
It’s All on Me
OP (Original Poster), a 24-year-old woman, has four siblings: Max, Lisa, Chris, and Emily. Max, 31, is the eldest, while Emily, 18, is the youngest.
Emily is “disabled,” and because of that, their parents “dedicated themselves 100% to her, leaving the rest of them to fend for themselves.” After Max left for college, OP became the primary caregiver for her siblings, responsible for all household chores.
OP clarified that Emily’s disability did not stop her from functioning like any other person, and she “doesn’t require any assistance or supervision or 24/7 care.”
However, their parents have consistently indulged her, so she grew up thinking that her disability meant she could do as she pleased and everyone else needed to accommodate her needs. OP said, “She is very rude, mean, and entitled.”
No One Knows
OP clarified that she doesn’t know what disability Emily has. She said, “My parents never told me. When anyone asked, they would get very defensive.”
Then, she mentioned how she remembers her parents arguing about taking Emily to multiple doctors because none would agree to label her as disabled.
A Slow Developer
Emily’s family believes she has a disability because she didn’t start walking until she was five and didn’t begin talking until she was seven.
However, OP raised the possibility that perhaps she had a slower developmental pace. She wrote, “I mean, if no doctor would declare her disabled, is she really?”
A Huge Inheritance
Then, to give a bit more background, OP explained that three years before this story was posted, she received a substantial inheritance of around $6,000,000 from her wealthy grandparents. OP received all of it because Max, who had remained out of touch for nearly a decade, reached out to their sick grandparents only because he was curious about his possible inheritance.
Apart from this, OP also had no contact with his brother.
The Only Option
OP’s parents also never received anything. After all, OP’s grandparents distanced themselves from them due to their mistreatment of their kids—OP and her siblings.
Another factor OP considered was her grandparents’ religiousness. She explained that Lisa and Chris openly came out as part of the LGBTQ+ community, which clashed with their grandparents’ religious beliefs.
A Helping Hand
Having had enough money to support herself, OP cut contact with her parents when she moved out for college. However, she offered financial support to Lisa and Chris for their education and living expenses, provided they excelled academically.
OP did her best to be as generous as possible, even offering financial assistance to her best friend, Lola, so that she could start her own business.
What’s More Important?
Since she moved out, OP has never heard from her parents, although she hasn’t blocked their attempts—or lack thereof— of communication. It took six years before they reached out, and expectedly, it had something to do with Emily.
OP explained that the year Emily started college, she burned out her $587,000 college fund in less than four months because, as OP said, “She was a spoiled brat, and bags were more important than rent.” During this time, Emily was also neglecting her studies; she was doing “horrible” in school because she rarely attended classes, and she’d most likely get expelled or held back.
The Serial Spender
It was outrageous that Emily could spend $587,000 so quickly, but OP said it was “simple.”
She wrote, “How can someone spend that much? Simple. She renewed her closet, purchased a very expressive car, and partied until she dropped.”
Who Do You Think You Are?
So, now, two weeks before this story was posted, OP’s mom demanded that she provide the same financial assistance to Emily as she did for Lisa and Chris. But OP firmly declined and said, “No, because growing up, I was a slave to her and my parents. I’m helping Lisa and Chris because they are the only ones that treated me as family.”
OP ended the call by telling her that for 18 years, “Emily was their only kid,” so they have no right to demand anything from the kids they “practically abandoned.” OP said that she and her siblings never had a college fund, and they all “worked their a**** off” to get scholarships so they could go.
Gaslighting at It’s Finest
Now, OP’s being criticized by everyone except for Lisa and Chris because she was starting “unnecessary drama” and was “causing a rift” between Emily and her siblings.
They tried guilt-tripping her, saying things like, “Emily will be the only one without a degree, that it’s not OP’s money, and her grandparents would want her to help Emily.” Her parents also said, “She’s disabled, and it’s not okay to discriminate.”
Where’s the Proof?
In an update, OP explained that Emily can’t get financial assistance because she doesn’t have documentation that attests she is disabled. No doctor could pinpoint her disability and sign off on a document, so OP’s parents can’t submit her case to gain the assistance they need.
OP also pointed out that her parents couldn’t pay for Emily’s education because of their financial woes and their daughter’s spending problem. She wrote, “Emily’s spending problem got worse since she left home, and the rest of the family is no longer in the position to give them money. Also, my dad had a work accident a few months ago, and he was forced to retire, so now their income has significantly reduced.”
To make matters worse, before that happened, OP’s parents were already living “paycheck to paycheck.”
What a Joke!
In another update, OP’s favorite uncle called to warn her about a plan her mother is coming up with. Then, just a few minutes later, her mother called, telling her that Emily was pregnant and OP needed to help her sister or she would be “damaging” her niece or nephew.
She said, “I was crying with how hard I started laughing, and I just told her to f*** off. I blocked them all. But seriously—to fake a pregnancy!”
Better Safe Than Sorry
Given her messy family situation, OP made sure she thought about all the unforeseen circumstances that might happen in the future.
So, ultimately, OP prepared a will that specified that all her assets would be split equally between Lisa, Chris, Lola, and an organization fighting for wildlife, should anything happen to her.
The Community’s Pieces of Advice
Users reminded OP that her inheritance is hers and that she should feel guilty about her decision.
A top commenter said, “Not the a**hole. They don’t contact you at all for six years until they want money for Emily. Screw that! You already paid for two of your siblings’ educations, which means they didn’t have to, so they should have plenty to put toward hers.”
Another said, “Not the a**hole; don’t listen to them. You’ve helped other people because you thought they deserved it. Any drama here has not been caused by you. Your parents caused this and have only been in contact because they want your money.”
It’s Not You
Others expressed their admiration for OP. She was generous enough to have tried to help her other siblings, although she didn’t have to.
One user said, “Not the a**hole. You’re really going above and beyond.”
“Not the a**hole. You’re doing the right thing for the right reasons,” another replied.
Was OP justified in refusing her family’s request? Should she have set aside her pride?
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This post first appeared as She Refused to Use Her $6,000,000 Inheritance to Fund Her “Disabled” Sister’s College Education. She Squandered Her $587,000 Fund on “Flashy” Things and Doesn’t Deserve It! Was She Being Selfish? on Quote Ambition.