She’s tired of her sister-in-law bringing her daughter over without warning so she can “run errands.” It has been happening multiple times a week, and now she’s threatened to call the authorities on her!
Two Distant Siblings
OP (Original Poster) is a 30-year-old married woman with a 3-year-old daughter.
She also has a 40-year-old half-brother named Enzo. While not raised together, they did share the same father, and Enzo had always been helpful and supportive to OP.
Two years before this story was posted, Enzo married Steph. She is a 33-year-old woman with a 4-year-old daughter named Alice from a previous relationship.
Enzo and Steph have also had a new child—a son who’s only seven months old and is named Teddy.
Enzo and Steph moved to the city that OP lives in when Steph got pregnant with Teddy. She made a habit of showing up unannounced at OP’s apartment so much that OP had to talk to her and Enzo about it, and the problem stopped until she gave birth.
After giving birth, Steph has made a habit of dropping Alice off at OP’s apartment so she can “run errands.” She has even had her carpool drop Alice off at OP’s apartment without prior notice!
Not Even Home
Even when OP isn’t home, Alice gets dropped off at her place. The situation has made OP’s housekeeper, who she says is a “wonderful woman,” watch Alice, which OP feels terrible about.
Never Gonna Give Up
OP went to the concierge of her building and told them to stop letting Steph come up and to say to her no one was home. While OP thought this would solve the problem, it didn’t, and she arrived home to find Alice waiting for her in the lobby, which the concierge had told her isn’t allowed.
But It’s an Emergency
Steph has told OP that she only leaves Alice there when it’s an emergency, but OP doesn’t believe her because she “runs errands” and drops Alice off twice a week. Even if that were the case, OP said she’s “not a nanny,” and if she’s desperate, she should hire someone to help.
Not Even Helping
OP told Enzo about it, and he was very apologetic and promised to talk to Steph about it. While OP does believe her brother spoke to Steph, he isn’t around during the day to watch her actions.
So, Steph continued to drop off her child at OP’s.
The Last Straw
Everything came to a head the week before this story was posted when OP got home from lunch and found Alice with her housekeeper because Alice had a half-day off from school. She apologized to her housekeeper and tried calling Steph to pick Alice up, but no one answered.
Away on Business
When she called Enzo, she discovered he was out of town on a business trip. She told him what was happening, and he was distraught.
There You Are
A couple of hours later, Steph arrived to pick Alice up, and OP went off on her. She told her she was a “neglectful” and “irresponsible” parent and that she would call child services every time Steph left Alice with her from here on out until they did something about it.
Are You Serious?
Steph then broke into tears and begged OP for help, but OP said no because it wasn’t her job, and she had never said yes to watching Alice. She was tired of Steph just dumping her kid at her apartment!
A Familiar Trip
Steph continued trying to get OP to agree to watch Alice and even tried to guilt-trip her. OP was upset and exhausted, and it got bad enough that OP’s husband had to tell Steph to leave.
An Upsetting Situation
OP felt terrible about the situation because Enzo had always been there for her and helped her. At the same time, OP never signed up to run a “daycare” and already had enough going on with her one child.
She regretted being harsh to Enzo’s wife but didn’t want to take the responsibility of having another child. So, she asked, “Was I too harsh?”
What the Community Thinks
Redditors were behind OP, with many finding Steph’s behavior disturbing.
One said, “Not the a**hole. Steph must know you did not hire your housekeeper to watch her child. It’s unfair she’s infringed on like that. Have you told her she can tell your sister-in-law she is not babysitting her child?”
Others were concerned about the well-being of Alice, with one saying, “Not the a**hole. She’s being careless, and her daughter will get hurt by her mother’s actions. What happens when your housekeeper and you aren’t home, and she gets hurt or worse?”
An Absent Mother
No one blamed Alice for the situation, but it was clear she was the one who would end up getting hurt by the ordeal.
One Redditor noticed that it was only her older daughter that Steph seemed to want to leave, saying, “Not the a**hole. Please do it! Steph is not entitled to your free services as a daycare. I also think it is kind of suspicious. Where is the other child during this, and why does she need to get rid of Alice so often?”
What do you think about Steph leaving her kid at OP’s apartment, even when OP isn’t there? Was threatening to call child services the right move?
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This post first appeared as She Threatened to Call CPS on Her “Irresponsible” and “Neglectful” Sister-In-Law, Who Kept Dumping Her Child on Her Unannounced. Her House Isn’t a “Daycare,” and It Never Will Be! on Quote Ambition.