This Redditor got into a messy family situation when she told her sister-in-law she would disown her if she got pregnant. What right did she have to tell her something like this?
Living With Her Brother and Sister-In-Law
OP (Original Poster) has been living with her 32-year-old brother and his 34-year-old wife for over a year now. She was “down on her luck,” unemployed, and had nowhere to go, so her brother took her in.
She said, “I definitely appreciate them taking me in during my time of need. That is not lost on me; I recognize they did not have to help me, and I am incredibly thankful that they have done that.”
Conditions for Being a Housemate
The only condition they told OP was that she had to help around the house until she was back on her feet. However, things took a turn for the worst, and her brother’s family’s financial situation changed.
OP was contributing a lot of money to their bills now, and she said she’s probably covering around two-thirds of the household’s expenses. Because of this, her brother asked her to stay with them.
Not What She Was Expecting
However, besides contributing financially and helping out here and there, OP was tasked to do so much more.
She said, “What I did not expect was to get almost 100% of the workload in the home in addition to working longer hours than my brother.”
This Is an Unfair Situation
OP was sure her brother knew how she felt about the whole setup because they’d had multiple conversations about how unfair everything was for her. She told him she thought it was “unfair that she does so much.”
However, her sister-in-law said that because they helped her before, OP was now “obligated” to help them. OP wrote, “Had I known this would be thrown in my face, I would have rather been homeless.”
Irresponsible Sister-In-Law
The problem was that OP’s sister-in-law wasn’t even helping around her own house. OP said she doesn’t work and can barely take care of herself.
OP shared, “She sleeps most of the day. She does not clean. She does not cook. She doesn’t take care of the child she already has.”
Their Past Relationships
OP’s brother is divorced and is paying an “ungodly amount” in child support. Her sister-in-law also had two kids from a previous relationship—an 11-year-old son she lost custody of and a 6-year-old daughter currently staying with them.
Per OP, “My sister-in-law lost custody of her other child about two years ago. He is 11 and living with family. I do not know why she even lost custody, but he says he was abused. She did not fight to get him back.”
Live-in Maid and Nanny
Because OP’s sister-in-law was so irresponsible, over time, she became the family’s “live-in maid and nanny on top of working 45 or more hours a week.”
She’s been caring for her daughter, and she had already come to love her dearly. OP said her sister-in-law “doesn’t even interact with her unless she has to.”
Baby Fever
So, imagine her surprise when her sister-in-law suddenly told her she wanted another baby. OP shared, “My sister-in-law has baby fever, and she is talking about trying to get pregnant.”
Apart from being irresponsible around the house, herself, and her existing kids, OP was sure they couldn’t afford it.
More Financial Issues
Aside from coming from a one-income household, paying child support, and relying on OP for most of their bills, OP’s brother “had the snip” after his divorce from his first wife.
So, he would have to have the procedure reversed before they could conceive their own child. However, OP said that her brother’s insurance would not cover it; she said, “To be frank, they cannot afford that.”
An Appointment
Two days before this story was posted, OP’s brother told her he had an appointment to meet with his doctor to discuss the reversal so he and her sister-in-law could try for a baby. OP was appalled and told them they were out of their minds!
Who’s Going to Take Care of the Baby?
Their argument got heated, and OP finally asked who would take care of the baby when she and her brother worked full-time.
She said, “My brother works full-time, I work full-time, and she constantly makes excuses to not even do basic s**t around the house like taking the dog outside.”
Her Sister-In-Law’s Audacity
She couldn’t believe it when her sister-in-law said, “I thought you could handle them when you get off work before your brother gets home, so the load is evenly distributed.”
This was the last straw for OP, and she told her she would not be a parent to another one of their kids. She told them she would be done if they pushed through with it, and “they are on their own.”
Threats
OP told her brother that she would always love him and help whenever he needed a hand, but she would never talk to her sister-in-law again. She also added that she’d make sure the rest of their family would “disown” her.
With this, her sister-in-law started crying and locked herself in the bedroom.
Rift Between Siblings
OP’s brother got mad and threatened to kick her out. However, she told him that he couldn’t afford to kick her out because he won’t afford a replacement maid and nanny who would do what she did.
She shared, “I told our mom about what happened, and she not only thinks I’m not the a**hole but is now mad at my brother. Our dad, however, said I am the a**hole because it isn’t my place to say anything about my brother’s decisions.”
Insights From Redditors
The community stood by OP’s decision and said she was right to do what she did.
One said, “I was fully prepared going into this to say you were the a**hole, but after reading it, not the a**hole. Your dad’s right; it shouldn’t be your business, but they made it that way because they’re including you in their childcare plans. If she wants another child so badly, why not work at getting the child she already has and lost custody of back?”
Why Isn’t She Getting Therapy?
Redditors also believed that there might be something seriously wrong with her sister-in-law.
A person shared, “Oh man, the dysfunction with the sister-in-law is just too much. Between some kind of mental illness, laziness, possible child abuse, definitely child neglect—why doesn’t someone get this woman some therapy?”
Did OP do the right thing? What advice would you give her?
More From Quote Ambition
OP (Original Poster) suddenly became $8,000,000 richer when her estranged grandpa left her all his fortune. But now her family wants a piece of the money. What should she do?
His Son Banned Them From the Wedding After His In-Laws Thought He’s the House Owner and Said They “Weren’t Good Enough.” He’s Furious, Kicked Them Out, and Sold the House!
This Redditor is a dad who tried to provide his kids with everything they could ever need. So, when their son suddenly shunned them and uninvited them from his wedding, he blew up!
He Refused to Take a DNA Test Because It Meant Losing the $500,000 House He Inherited. He Feels His So-Called Uncle Was Trying to Scam Him, and He Was Right!
This Redditor refuses to believe his grandfather cheated on his grandmother. So, when a stranger approached him claiming to be his uncle, he declined and just saved himself from being scammed!
She Went Behind Her Relatives’ Backs and Got a DNA Test to Prove She Was Her Grandfather’s Biological Granddaughter. Now She’s Set to Inherit $4,200,000 While They Only Get $5,000!
The only way to get their hands on OP’s (Original Poster) grandfather’s immense fortune is to get a DNA test. It’s easy enough, so why are they all refusing to take one?
He Refused to Fund His Son’s $150,000 Wedding After His Fiancé Declined His Request to Invite 8 Out of Their 400 Guests. She’s “Entitled” and Doesn’t Deserve a Free Ride!
This Redditor was ready to spend $150,000 for his son’s wedding, and his conditions weren’t hard to follow. However, his future daughter-in-law refused to bend, even for people important to him!
This post first appeared as She Threatened to Disown Her Irresponsible Sister-In-Law if She Got Pregnant. Her Brother’s Mad and Said He’ll Kick Her Out, but We Think She Did the Right Thing! on Quote Ambition.
