This Redditor and her fiancé were hesitant to let her future father-in-law take the reins on their rehearsal dinner. Well, it turns out they were right to be concerned, given how he handled things!
OP (Original Poster) started by explaining that she and her fiancé come from social circles where it was “extremely common” for the couples’ parents to pay for the wedding.
She said, “We would never ask our parents for anything, but to be clear, they all live very well and have the means to pay for the wedding if they wished.”
When OP announced her engagement, her parents immediately volunteered to pay for everything. OP and her fiancé were “immensely grateful” and accepted their offer.
Conversely, OP’s future mother-in-law was “upfront” and said she wasn’t paying a cent.
OP said, “Which is okay; that is her right, and I’m aware she doesn’t like me.”
Hearing this, OP’s future father-in-law, who was divorced from her future mother-in-law, groaned. However, he agreed to sponsor their rehearsal dinner.
A Wealthy Man
To give some background, OP explained that her future father-in-law is a partner at a huge law firm.
She wrote, “He lavishes his new girlfriend in gifts and travels internationally at least twice a year, so money isn’t an issue, and the rehearsal dinner wasn’t going to put a strain on him.”
My Money, My Choice
Since then, OP’s future father-in-law has shot down all the options OP and her fiancé sent him for the rehearsal dinner venue. He told the couple he didn’t like them and that his ex wouldn’t eat the food at one “fancy barbeque.”
Then, he told them that “if he was paying, he should get to pick.”
Both OP and her fiancé were “apprehensive.” However, they didn’t want to sound “entitled,” so they just let him be.
Could Be Worse
OP’s future father-in-law ended up picking “someplace cheap.” Thankfully, it had “decent food.”
Even so, it didn’t match the whole vibe of the wedding since it looked like a sports bar.
What a Cheapskate!
As the night progressed, things kept getting weirder and weirder.
OP shared, “He didn’t pay for alcohol—despite him and my future mother-in-law both calling parties without open bars tacky—and then he was buying drinks for his whole table and no one else, and they got dessert when no one else did. It felt kind of weird, but I didn’t want to say anything.”
Eavesdropping on a Conversation
Then, at some point during dinner, OP overheard a conversation between her future in-laws and their respective partners.
OP’s future mother-in-law’s new husband said, “This steak kind of sucks.” To which OP’s mom-in-law-to-be said, “Well, who orders steak at a place like this? Actually, who picks a place like this for a pre-wedding dinner?”
OP then overheard her future father-in-law’s response, making her burst out in anger.
He said, “I wasn’t spending money on those motherf******. Like honestly, f*** them. I spent more money on your birthday gift, and we are divorced, and I don’t even like you. They can both sit their entitled a**** down. No one cares about their wedding. I don’t just hand over money to people I don’t respect.”
Refusing to hear any more, OP confronted them. When she did, her future mother-in-law just laughed, and her future father-in-law just shrugged and said that she should know that he’s an “a**hole” and “it is what it is.”
I Need Someone on My Side
Having had enough, OP brought her fiancé over and told him what she heard everyone say. He asked OP what she wanted to do, and when she admitted she didn’t want her future father-in-law at her wedding, her fiancé agreed and said he would support her decision.
Attacks on the Bride
The moment everyone else heard this, all hell broke loose. OP’s future father-in-law’s girlfriend said she was “entitled,” her future father-in-law didn’t say much, and her future mother-in-law said she and her fiancé were being “too sensitive” and said OP was acting like a “princess.”
But OP argued, “It isn’t about the money but his disdainful attitude, and I feel he did that on purpose because that is not the normal type of dinner or party he would throw.”
Redditors’ Opinions on the Matter
For users, OP’s future father-in-law didn’t deserve to be present on her special day.
A top commenter wrote, “Not the a**hole. Your father-in-law sucks. No one in their right mind would want someone with that level of toxic attitude at their wedding.”
Then, another Redditor replied, adding, “Or their life. If this is how he talks about his own son, how do you think he’ll talk about the grandkids?”
He Doesn’t Deserve It!
People wanted OP to stand her ground and not feel guilty about what happened. If her future father-in-law wasn’t at the wedding, no one else should be blamed apart from him.
One user said, “Not the a**hole. I wouldn’t invite anyone who called me a motherf***** to my wedding. I wouldn’t invite anyone who didn’t care about my wedding to my wedding. And I wouldn’t invite anyone who said they didn’t respect me to my wedding.”
“You are definitely not crazy, and your father-in-law is a sick f*** for being jealous and resentful of his son having a better life. My husband and I both grew up dirt poor, like we didn’t know if we would eat the next day poor. We made it our mission to make sure our son never had to endure what we did. There have been times when money has been tight, but my son doesn’t know and never will know what it is like to go hungry. It makes me proud that my husband works so hard to give us a life we only dreamed of as kids. For him to resent his son for that—he needs a reality check. If my dad ever talked like that about us, my husband would have made sure he met St. Peter for at least a few minutes, and I would have calmly walked back to my seat.”
What do you think? Should OP stick to her decision?
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This post first appeared as She Uninvited Her Father-In-Law-To-Be From Her Wedding After He “Bragged” About Choosing a “Cheap” Place for Their Rehearsal Dinner. Now She’s Called an “Entitled, Sensitive Princess!” Was She Overreacting? on Quote Ambition.