Learn how to enjoy the most simple things in life and celebrate every moment by reading these Garfield quotes!
Garfield is a fictional orange tabby cat from the comic of the same name. He is a sarcastic and lazy food-lover who seems to be content with his life doing nothing.
Although Garfield may not be exactly a good role model for kids and adults, fans can still learn from his calm demeanor and nonchalance. In an era where hustle culture is glorified, his character is a reminder to breathe and take things slow in life.
So, if you need funny quotes that will encourage you to find contentment, add this to your must-read list now. Continue reading below to know more about Garfield and his life.
Let’s get started.
And don’t forget to check out these Calvin and Hobbes quotes and Charlie Brown quotes.
Best Garfield Quotes
1. “Eat every meal as though it were your last.”
2. “Love me, feed me, never leave me.”
3. “This is it. I’ve reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony. How depressing. There’s no place to go after you’ve reached the top.”
4. “All I do is eat and sleep, eat and sleep, eat and sleep. There must be more to a cat’s life than that. But I hope not.”
5. “The most active thing about me is my imagination.”
6. “Would you be willing to lead a parade in celebration of the lazy life? If the answer is yes, you’re all wrong for a lazy week.”
7. “Anybody can exercise, but this kind of lethargy takes real discipline.”
8. “Good times are ahead! Or behind. Because they sure aren’t here.”
9. “If you are patient and wait long enough, nothing will happen!”
10. “You should never say, ‘Things can’t possibly get any worse.’ Things’ll always find a way.”
11. “Christmas, it’s not the giving, it’s not the getting. It’s the loving.”
12. “Odie, let’s talk effort versus return here. You know, you can still lead a pointless life without all that running around.”
13. “I mean to make myself a man, and if I succeed in that, I shall succeed in everything else.”
14. “So much time and so little l need to do.”
15. “Be still, my beating heart.”
Famous Garfield Quotes
16. “You know it’s Monday when you wake up, and it’s Tuesday.”
17. “I’ll rise, but I won’t shine.”
18. “Oh no! I overslept! I’m late for my nap.”
19. “Show me a good mouser, and I’ll show you a cat with bad breath.”
20. “The meek shall inherit squat.”
21. “I’m not overweight. I’m undertall.”
22. “I shall now attempt to eat a diet lunch consisting of one leaf of lettuce lightly seasoned with one quart of mayonnaise.”
23. “It’s not that I dislike you. I just don’t like you near me.”
24. “I hate Mondays.”
25. “I am hungry. Therefore I am.”
26. “When I want in, I want in now!”
27. “I’m not messy. I’m organizationally challenged!”
28. “Big fat hairy deal.”
29. “Diet is ‘die’ with a ‘t.'”
30. “Eat your heart out.”
Also read: Snoopy Quotes
Short Garfield Quotes to Revisit His Wittiest Lines
31. “If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.”
32. “Never leave your food dish under a birdcage.”
33. “l don’t do the chase thing.”
34. “Never trust a smiling cat.”
35. “His I.Q. is so low, you can’t test it. You have to dig for it.”
36. “Avoid fruits and nuts. After all, you are what you eat.”
37. “Pop a worm pill and hit the road. I’m busy.”
38. “A little ego goes nowhere.”
39. “I couldn’t be more asleep.”
40. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
41. “If you want to look thinner, hang around people fatter than you.”
42. “Rule number one in being a sidekick: never dress better than the hero.”
43. “That’s his last name, Schnitzel?”
44. “This rescue work is exhausting. When do heroes get to eat?”
45. “You can bet it wasn’t an exercise freak who invented power steering.”
Hilarious Garfield Quotes That We Can All Relate To
46. “I’m not known for my compassion.”
47. Jon Arbuckle: “Garfield, look at you! You need to get in shape!”
Garfield: “Round is a shape.”
48. “I eat too much because I’m depressed, and I’m depressed because I eat too much. It’s a vicious circle that took years to perfect!”
Garfield Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
49. “Nermal, you are repulsive, hideous, abrasive, disgusting, annoying, repulsive, gross, vile, repellant, in that order.”
50. “If this guy’s a lawman, then I’m a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.”
51. “You can scratch my chair, you can insult my mother, you can beat up my dog, and you can play with my rubber mousie, but you don’t eat my food, and you don’t sleep in my bed.”
52. “Anyone who sings like that should be drug out into the street and shot. Or worse, made to listen to a tape of themselves.”
53. “That’s the mad scientist’s assistant, Igor. Mad scientists’ assistants are always named Igor. It’s like a law.”
54. “Let me think about how to solve this. Maybe, I can call the Ghostbusters! Nah. That show was canceled.”
55. “Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up. You can stop dreaming about me because I’m here. Now, just wake up. You got work to do. You’re not just my owner. You’re my primary caregiver.”
56. “If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters.”
57. “If I didn’t have a box over my head, I’d be humiliated.”
58. “Abu Dhabi, a far commute for any kitten who is too darn cute!”
59. “Okay, here’s the drill. Cats scratch like you never scratched before. Dogs, bite but don’t chew, and rats, see if you can get that pretty necklace around his neck. Canines, felines, and ‘vermins,’ it’s showtime!”
60. Jon Arbuckle: “Don’t you realize how wrong it was to try and mail Nermal to Abu Dhabi?”
Garfield: “You’re right. Egypt’s further.”
61. Floyd: “Just remember this moment, Garfield, ’cause there’ll eventually come the day you’ll beg me to do this show. But you know what? I won’t be available. I’ll be working for, uh, Disney or somebody.”
Garfield: “Who’s he kidding? Disney’s up to here with mice on their contract.”
Funny Garfield Quotes
62. “I have a feeling there was something I was supposed to do, but I didn’t get around doing it! Of course, that’s it! How could I neglect one of my most important responsibilities? It has been almost 24 hours since I kicked Odie off the table.”
63. “You can’t kick me out of my own house like I’m some kind of animal!”
64. “Good morning. Sometimes, on the show, we like to teach you something a little educational. No, no! Don’t change the channel! It’s not that educational!”
65. Binky the Clown: “I’m here to wish her a happy 97th birthday!”
Garfield: “If he does, Edna won’t make 98.”
66. “A beautiful woman is interested in Jon, and you’re asking what’s wrong? How long have you been on this show?”
67. “All right, wise guy, I got another game for you. It’s called the ‘My Claw In Your Butt’ game. Now, let me out!”
68. Jon Arbuckle: “Well guys, how would you like to experience something real scary?”
Garfield: “Hmmm, Jon’s gonna sing.”
Jon Arbuckle: “Something so spooky you’ll never get over it.”
Garfield: “Hmmm, he’s gonna sing and dance.”
69. “In the history of mankind, no two people have ever been able to agree on the toppings for pizza.”
70. “Hey, nobody gets to mistreat my dog like that except me!”
71. Garfield: “Are there any questions?”
Audience member: “Uh, yeah! Is wrestling fixed?”
Garfield: “Excuse me. I should have asked, ‘Are there any intelligent questions?'”
72. Luca: “You’re on the wrong side of the street, fat cat. Beat it!”
Garfield: “And you, Luca. You’re on the wrong side of the evolutionary curve.”
73. “Trying to cuddle with me, huh? Trying to avoid your duties, eh? Well, that just ain’t gonna fly! It isn’t gonna work with me. See, I’m getting my exercise, doin’ my job. Just one quick cannonball!”
74. Jon Arbuckle: “She is so beautiful.”
Garfield: “Uh, Mr. Pathetic. You’ve had a crush on her since high school. Would you please ask her out so she can reject you, and we can get on with my life?”
75. TV Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, Odie and friends!”
Garfield: “Odie and friends? We are very close to the end of civilization as we know it.”
76. “You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog. That’s bad even for you.”
Garfield Quotes for Those Who Want to Laze Around Like Him
77. “It’s 3:05! I’m five minutes late for my pre-suppertime, post-lunch warm up nap.”
78. “Before you begin reading this story, let me give you fair warning, I’m not in it or not much anyway. I’m going to be napping.”
79. “Some people have anxiety attacks, some people have gas attacks. I have nap attacks.”
Garfield Quotes for Lasagna Lovers
80. “I love lasagna.”
81. “I never met a lasagna I didn’t like.”
82. “When the lasagna content in my blood gets low, I get mean.”
83. “Sure, Jon, I’ll eat all your lasagna for you.”
84. “The six most beautiful words in the English language: ‘feast,’ ‘lasagna,’ and ‘all-you-can-eat!'”
85. “Once again, my life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna.”
More Garfield Quotes That You Will Love
86. “I think I’m going to blow cat chow chunks.”
87. “I was provoked, pushed, prodded, driven mad.”
88. “Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield, has left the cul-de-sac!”
89. “What luck. Jon finally gets a decent quantity of food in the house, and it has to be yogurt.”
90. Jon Arbuckle: “We’ll go to that new multiplex in town. They have 37 screens.”
Garfield: “All of which will be showing Kung-Fu Creatures on the Rampage 2.”
91. “Another day ruined.”
92. “I’ll make it up to Odie tomorrow. I’ll teach him how to drink out of the toilet.”
93. Garfield: “Can you imagine Pete trying to scare us?”
Odie: “I don’t know, I’m kinda scared.”
94. “Get yourself lost, Louis. Take a powder for a couple of days, get a haircut, and grow a beard.”
95. “The real Binky could never resist a very old joke.”
96. “I can already taste you from here, my love, my desire. I worship you. I dream of you. I’m humbled and crumbled in your presence.”
97. “Abu Dhabi, it’s far away. Abu Dhabi, that’s where you’ll stay. Abu Dhabi, the place to be for any kitten who’s annoying me, yeah!”
98. “It’s always got to be smashing and crashing. Nobody poisons anymore.”
99. “At first, I thought he was a pain, but he’s grown on me like a wart you wanna have removed until you realize it defines you in some funny way.”
100. “This is so sad. Jon has completely lost his mind. He doesn’t realize how important I am to him.”
Did These Garfield Quotes Make You Realize How Simple Life Is?
Aside from his adventures around the neighborhood, Garfield’s life is pretty simple. His day consists of sleeping, eating, watching TV, and making fun of Jon and Odie.
In the simplest words, Garfield is living his best life. Many of us might be envious, but it also shows how we can choose to take some time off and relax.
Time can never be brought back, so instead of wasting time doing the things you don’t want, start living your best life like our favorite fictional cat. Garfield reminds us that although things can be tough, we can always enjoy a nice plate of lasagna and take afternoon naps.
So, we hope that these Garfield quotes were able to remind you that you deserve to take some time off the hustle and bustle of the world and do anything you want. Live every day as if it was your last, and enjoy every moment!
Are you a fan of the Garfield comic? Which quote is your favorite? Leave a comment below to share your thoughts with us.
