60 Funny Family Quotes on Your Crazy but Irreplaceable Bond

These funny family quotes will serve as perfect pick-me-ups or Instagram captions whenever you want words that perfectly encapsulate your family dynamics!

Our family is our foundation and the one thing we can count on in our lives. No matter how low we’ve fallen or how high we’ve soared, we can be sure that they will always be behind our backs, ready to support or cheer us up.

Even so, each family is crazy and chaotic in their own way. They understand each other more than others will ever do, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t any misunderstandings, frustrations, or annoyances.

We each get into hilariously funny situations with our family. When that happens, you might feel frustrated or annoyed, but just wait; when you look back on it, you’ll find yourself laughing out loud!

So, if you want some words you can no doubt relate to, read these funny family quotes we’ve compiled. You’ll find more than a couple of quotes that will be reminiscent of your bond and dynamics!

And don’t forget to check out these family quotes and parents quotes.

Funniest Family Quotes

1. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

2. “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” – Cary Grant

3. “Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” – Wayne Huizenga

4. “Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.” – Anonymous

5. “I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.” – Fred Allen

6. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck

7. “Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.” – Marcelina Hardy

8. “My family is temperamental. Half temper, half mental.” – Anonymous

9. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

10. “It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.” – Anonymous

Short Funny Family Quotes

11. “Families are like fudge—mostly sweet, with a few nuts.” – Anonymous

12. “Some call it chaos; we call it family.” – Anonymous

13. “A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.” – Robert A. Heinlein

14. “Our family is just one tent away from a full-blown circus.” – Anonymous

15. “‘Well, that escalated quickly’ is our family motto.” – Anonymous

16. “In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.” – Anonymous

17. “Family is like that annoying itch you can’t scratch.” – Anonymous

18. “Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.” – Anonymous

19. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Betty White

20. “Bleeding ulcers run in my family. We give them to each other.” – Lois McMaster Bujold

21. “Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children.” – Sam Levinson

22. “Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” – Harry Morgan

23. “You cannot choose your family, but you can send them to voicemail.” – Anonymous

24. “Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.” – Martin Mull

Funny Quotes About Family and Its Dynamics

25. “The other night, I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” – George Carlin

26. “In some families, ‘please’ is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was ‘sorry.’” – Margaret Laurence

27. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.” – Bob Hope

28. “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” – George Bernard Shaw

29. “A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.” – Ogden Nash

30. “Children are a great comfort to us in our old age, and they help us reach it faster, too.” – John Ruskin

31. “Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie—not perfect, but who’s complaining?” – Robert Brault

32. “Family: a social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.” – Evan Esar

33. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler

34. “There is so much I love about our little family, especially the part where they all fall asleep.” – Anonymous

Funny Family Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

35. “It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on, someone to tell on!” – Anonymous

36. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller 

37. “You know what it’s like having five kids? Imagine you’re drowning, and someone hands you a baby.” – Jim Gaffigan 

38. “When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is, ‘Please forget.’” – Anonymous

39. “Every family has that one crazy person in it. If you’re missing one, I seem to have a few extras.” – Anonymous

40. “Our family’s favorite pastime is trying to convince others we are normal.” – Anonymous

Funny Family Quotes to Cheer You Up

41. “Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.” – Lemony Snicket

42. “If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

43. “Having one kid makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.” – David Frost

44. “The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.” – Erma Bombeck

45. “Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.” – Ralph Bus

Funny Family Sayings You Won’t Get Enough Of

46. “When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.” – Henry Fielding

47. “Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other, so they have less time to spend annoying you.” – Anonymous

48. “Family is like pizza. It’s messy, might give you a stomachache, and you can’t get enough of it.” – Anonymous

49. “Family is a gift that came without a receipt. No take-backs.” – Anonymous

50. “If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.” – Jeff Foxworthy

51. “You can not choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls!” – Anonymous

52. “I saw a store that has a sign that reads, ‘We treat you like family!’ Yup, not going in there.” – Anonymous

53. “If you want to call a family meeting, just turn off the Wi-Fi router and wait in the room in which it is located.” – Anonymous

54. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” – Phyllis Diller

More Funny Family Quotes for Your Photos and Instagram Captions

55. “I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?” – Jeff Lindsay

56. “Remember, as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice, normal family.” – Homer Simpson

57. “Caller ID was invented for family screening.” – Anonymous

58. “Home is wherever my bunch of crazies are.” – Anonymous

59. “I smile because you’re my family; I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it!” – Anonymous

60. “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” – Robert Brault

Which Quote Was Most Similar to Something You’ve Experienced With Your Family?

If you’ve ever attended a family reunion, you know firsthand how chaotic but incredibly enjoyable it is. After all, you get to spend time with loved ones you haven’t seen for so long.

However, no one can escape from a couple of hilarious or embarrassing moments when you’re with your family. After all, they know about your younger days and everything that happened in between!

Even so, you mustn’t shy away from them. Yes, they laugh at your embarrassing moments, but they also accept them and you for who you are.

There is no judgment between family members. We just embrace and love each other wholly, no matter what.

Look at things with a lighter and more positive perspective; just laugh out loud and have fun! Let the funny family quotes above show you how important it is to treasure your bond with your loved ones!

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

You can find me on MuckRack and LinkedIn.