These funny family quotes will serve as perfect pick-me-ups or Instagram captions whenever you want words that perfectly encapsulate your family dynamics!
Our family is our foundation and the one thing we can count on in our lives. No matter how low we’ve fallen or how high we’ve soared, we can be sure that they will always be behind our backs, ready to support or cheer us up.
Even so, each family is crazy and chaotic in their own way. They understand each other more than others will ever do, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t any misunderstandings, frustrations, or annoyances.
We each get into hilariously funny situations with our family. When that happens, you might feel frustrated or annoyed, but just wait; when you look back on it, you’ll find yourself laughing out loud!
So, if you want some words you can no doubt relate to, read these funny family quotes we’ve compiled. You’ll find more than a couple of quotes that will be reminiscent of your bond and dynamics!
Funniest Family Quotes
1. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
2. “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” – Cary Grant
3. “Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” – Wayne Huizenga
4. “Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.” – Anonymous
5. “I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.” – Fred Allen
6. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck
7. “Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.” – Marcelina Hardy
8. “My family is temperamental. Half temper, half mental.” – Anonymous
9. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
10. “It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.” – Anonymous
Short Funny Family Quotes
11. “Families are like fudge—mostly sweet, with a few nuts.” – Anonymous
12. “Some call it chaos; we call it family.” – Anonymous
13. “A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.” – Robert A. Heinlein
14. “Our family is just one tent away from a full-blown circus.” – Anonymous
15. “‘Well, that escalated quickly’ is our family motto.” – Anonymous
16. “In my family, crazy doesn’t skip a generation.” – Anonymous
17. “Family is like that annoying itch you can’t scratch.” – Anonymous
18. “Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.” – Anonymous
19. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Betty White
20. “Bleeding ulcers run in my family. We give them to each other.” – Lois McMaster Bujold
21. “Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children.” – Sam Levinson
22. “Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” – Harry Morgan
23. “You cannot choose your family, but you can send them to voicemail.” – Anonymous
24. “Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.” – Martin Mull
Funny Quotes About Family and Its Dynamics
25. “The other night, I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.” – George Carlin
26. “In some families, ‘please’ is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was ‘sorry.’” – Margaret Laurence
27. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.” – Bob Hope
28. “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” – George Bernard Shaw
29. “A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.” – Ogden Nash
30. “Children are a great comfort to us in our old age, and they help us reach it faster, too.” – John Ruskin
31. “Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie—not perfect, but who’s complaining?” – Robert Brault
32. “Family: a social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.” – Evan Esar
33. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler
34. “There is so much I love about our little family, especially the part where they all fall asleep.” – Anonymous
Funny Family Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
35. “It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on, someone to tell on!” – Anonymous
36. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
37. “You know what it’s like having five kids? Imagine you’re drowning, and someone hands you a baby.” – Jim Gaffigan
38. “When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is, ‘Please forget.’” – Anonymous
39. “Every family has that one crazy person in it. If you’re missing one, I seem to have a few extras.” – Anonymous
40. “Our family’s favorite pastime is trying to convince others we are normal.” – Anonymous
Funny Family Quotes to Cheer You Up
41. “Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.” – Lemony Snicket
42. “If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
43. “Having one kid makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.” – David Frost
44. “The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.” – Erma Bombeck
45. “Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.” – Ralph Bus
Funny Family Sayings You Won’t Get Enough Of
46. “When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.” – Henry Fielding
47. “Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other, so they have less time to spend annoying you.” – Anonymous
48. “Family is like pizza. It’s messy, might give you a stomachache, and you can’t get enough of it.” – Anonymous
49. “Family is a gift that came without a receipt. No take-backs.” – Anonymous
50. “If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.” – Jeff Foxworthy
51. “You can not choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls!” – Anonymous
52. “I saw a store that has a sign that reads, ‘We treat you like family!’ Yup, not going in there.” – Anonymous
53. “If you want to call a family meeting, just turn off the Wi-Fi router and wait in the room in which it is located.” – Anonymous
54. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” – Phyllis Diller
More Funny Family Quotes for Your Photos and Instagram Captions
55. “I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?” – Jeff Lindsay
56. “Remember, as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice, normal family.” – Homer Simpson
57. “Caller ID was invented for family screening.” – Anonymous
58. “Home is wherever my bunch of crazies are.” – Anonymous
59. “I smile because you’re my family; I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it!” – Anonymous
60. “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” – Robert Brault
Which Quote Was Most Similar to Something You’ve Experienced With Your Family?
If you’ve ever attended a family reunion, you know firsthand how chaotic but incredibly enjoyable it is. After all, you get to spend time with loved ones you haven’t seen for so long.
However, no one can escape from a couple of hilarious or embarrassing moments when you’re with your family. After all, they know about your younger days and everything that happened in between!
Even so, you mustn’t shy away from them. Yes, they laugh at your embarrassing moments, but they also accept them and you for who you are.
There is no judgment between family members. We just embrace and love each other wholly, no matter what.
Look at things with a lighter and more positive perspective; just laugh out loud and have fun! Let the funny family quotes above show you how important it is to treasure your bond with your loved ones!