70 Buford T. Justice Quotes That Show His Savage Attitude

This collection of Buford T. Justice quotes will remind you of the most hilarious lines from your favorite sheriff.

Sheriff Buford T. Justice is a character from one of the greatest comedy films ever created, Smokey and the Bandit. He is a very grumpy, bossy, and straightforward man that assures that nothing illegal gets past his eyes.

His hilarious comments towards his son, Junior, and his never-give-up attitude in keeping peace and order in his county became so appealing to a lot of viewers. If you miss some of his most memorable lines, be sure to check out the list below.

Start reading here.

And don’t forget to check out these Smokey and the Bandit quotes.

Best Buford T. Justice Quotes

Best Gangster Quotes
Best Gangster Quotes

1. “There’s no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I’m gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!”

2. “The g*dd*mn Germans got nothin’ to do with it!”

3. “I saw that! You did that on purpose! You’re goin’ away till you’re gray! I got the evidence! Put the evidence in the car.”

4. “I’m not givin’ up! I’m not givin’ up! I’m never gonna give up! I’m never gonna give up! I’ll get you, you sumbitch!” 

5. “What the hell is the world coming to?”

6. “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.”

7. “Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I’m in a g*dd*mn hurry.”

8. “If you’re gonna hang out in places like this, wear a badge on your didey.”

9. “Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you’re the g*dd*mn*d*st pursuee I’ve ever pursued. Where are you, you sumbitch?”

Famous Buford T. Justice Quotes

10. “Ooo, hee-hee, for some reason or another, you sounded a little taller on radio, hee-hee.”

11. “I hope your g*dd*mn head was in it!”

12. “That’s an attention-getter.”

13. “Nobody, and I mean nobody, makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.”

14. “You sumbitches couldn’t close an umbrella.”

15. “Just keep your eye out for that Mr. Bandit bastard!” 

16. “Bad company? Let me tell ya somethin’, Junior. When you raid a cathouse, you take the piano player too.”

17. “She insulted my town! She insulted my son! Shaddup! She insulted my authority! And that’s nothin’ but pure and simple old-fashioned communism. Happens every time one of those dancers starts poon-tangin’ around with those show-folk f*gs! I can see her now runnin’ back up that aisle. No, she was dancin’ back up the aisle. Her knockers bouncin’ all over the joint. Her *ss was wigglin’ too!”

18. “Hold it! Hold it! Don’t you ever raise your voice to me! Do you know who you’re talking to? I happen to be Buford T. Justice, a distinguished officer of over 40 years seniority! One of the most highly respected law enforcement agents in the United States of America! That vehicle happens to be evidence—valuable evidence—that’s gonna convict a maniac that I’ve been trying to apprehend and that I have been in high-speed pursuit of for 700 miles! He is wanted for the Mann Act kidnappin’, and the attempted murder of over 20 brother officers.”

Threatening Buford T. Justice Quotes

19. “Shut up! One sh*t at a time!”

20. “I’m gonna barbecue your *ss in molasses!”

21. “You got trouble comin’.”

22. “My handle’s Smokey Bear and I’m tail-grabbin yo *ss right now!”

23. “Duck, or you’re gonna be talkin’ out yo *ss!”

24. “Don’t you ever, ever, threaten yo’ daddy like that again!”

25. “Let me tell ya somethin’, Junior. If you ever embarrass me like that again, I’m gonna get an ax, and you’re never gonna have to open your fly again.”

26. “You’re not getting away from me, Bandit! I’ll chase you in hot-pursuit to the ends of the earth! You sumbitch!”

27. “Will you get away from me, you sh*t?”

Buford T. Justice Quotes That Show His Bossy Attitude

28. “Hold my hat for me!”

29. “Do what I tell you! You pile of monkey nuts!”

30. “And don’t go home, and don’t go to eat, and don’t play with yourself. It wouldn’t look nice on my highway. Oh, you can think about it, but don’t do it!”

31. “Get off of there, you Moose twit!”

32. “Hold up on that car wash gentlemen.”

33. “Follow that sumbitch.”

34. “Why don’t you move down here?”

35. “Hey, you big piece o’ turkey dump! Get that mess the hell outta there!”

Hilarious Buford T. Justice Quotes About His Son

36. “He’s dumb, but a loveable sh*t.”

37. “That reminds me—I gotta call yo’ mama tonight.”

38. “Junior! Why didn’t you have your gun loaded?”

39. “Ya know if Junior is able to get up in the morning, tie his shoelaces and take a pee, I’m not proud. I’m amazed.”

40. “Well, put a little lipstick on. I’ll drop you off at a gay bar.”

41. “Get in the car, Junior. We’re surrounded by a mental case.”

42. “Now I’m gonna go home and kick yo’ momma in the butt.”

43. “Junior, retirement is cat sh*t.”

44. “Son, you’ll always be my tick turd.”

45. “That is why you gotta have a sixth sense.”

Funny Buford T. Justice Quotes to Make You Laugh

46. “Gimme the good old days when a pair of b**bs were a couple of dumb guys.”

47. “If they’d cremated the sumbitch. I could be kickin’ that Mr. Bandit’s *ss around the moon by now.” 

48. “What the hell is this, a drive-in movie?”

49. “Apprehend that horse for reckless driving!”

50. “Swallow it. I’m busy!”

51. “You can’t kick that high, cricket crotch.”

52. “I don’t even take my clothes off in front of my good wife, Wilhelmina.”

Buford T. Justice Quotes and One-Liners

53. “Dumb sumbitch!”

54. “Sma’t Alec!”

55. “Nobody’s chasin’ me, boy!”

56. “You bet your *ss on that, boy.”

57. “Shut your *ss!”

58. “No sh*t!”

59. “You want something?”

60. “Hello, you handsome sumbitch!”

More Buford T. Justice Quotes That’ll Remind You of the Movie

61. “Are you all right, Junior? You would be, you sh*t!”

62. “Breaker, breaker for the Bandit.”

63. “We ain’t got time for that crap!”

64. “Hey boy, where’s Sheriff Branford?”

65. “Bandit, I got a smokey report for you. Come on!”

66. “How do, officer? My name’s—.”

67. “Well, as you can see, Bandit, I’ve got my piece in my hand.”

68. “What are you tryin’ to tell me? I’m in hot pursuit.”

69. “I got ’em boxed in like a turtle’s pecker.”

70. “I haven’t seen anything like that since I was a little baby.”

Do You Know Someone as Bossy as Sheriff Justice?

Behind this character’s masculine and tough personality is a loving father who wants the best for his son. He is doing everything he can to lead his child to a righteous path.

His dedication to his job is also over-the-top. He never lets anyone or anything ruin his hometown’s peace and order. 

We can definitely get a thing or two from Sheriff Buford Justice. May he influence us into becoming law-abiding and disciplined citizens of our community.

Have you already watched Smokey and the Bandit? Which line from Sheriff Justice was your favorite? Let us know in the comments section below.