Get a glimpse of Jackie Gleason’s impeccable and outstanding talent through this list of Buford T. Justice quotes!
Police officers are who we would look to whenever we need help, saving, or assistance. Sadly, not all of them are righteous and just.
We see this in Smokey and the Bandit through Buford T. Justice—their depiction of the stereotypical lawman. He was portrayed as someone overweight, racist, corrupt, and homophobic.
Though The Bandit and The Snowman did do something they were not supposed to, if we observe Buford T. Justice’s words and actions, we’ll see that it’s not the main reason behind his determination to capture them. Instead, he was driven by personal rage.
He was angry that The Bandit was taking Carrie, her son’s fiancee, away to escape them. His pride was hurt, and he didn’t want them to win over him.
Learn more about Buford T. Justice through this collection of quotes. Read through to the end and relive his best scenes in Smokey and the Bandit!
And don’t forget to check out these Smokey and the Bandit quotes.
Best Buford T. Justice Quotes
1. “I’m not givin’ up! I’m not givin’ up! I’m never gonna give up! I’m never gonna give up! I’ll get you, you sumbitch!”
2. “What the hell is the world coming to?”
3. “Give me a Diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick; I’m in a goddamn hurry.”
4. “There’s no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, the first thing I’m gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!”
5. “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.”
6. “She insulted my town! She insulted my son! Shaddup! She insulted my authority! And that’s nothin’ but pure and simple old-fashioned communism.”
7. “If you’re gonna hang out in places like this, wear a badge on your didey!”
Sheriff Buford T. Justice Quotes to Revisit
8. “I saw that, you sumbitch! You did that on purpose! You’re going away till you’re gray! I got the evidence! Put the evidence in the car.”
9. “Nobody, and I mean nobody, makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.”
10. “Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you’re the god damnedest pursuee I’ve ever pursued.”
11. “Just keep your eye out for that Mr. Bandit bastard!”
12. “And don’t go home, and don’t go to eat, and don’t play with yourself. It wouldn’t look nice on my highway. Oh, you can think about it, but don’t do it!”
13. “Hold it! Hold it! Don’t you ever, ever raise your voice to me! Do you know who you’re talking to? I happen to be Buford T. Justice, a distinguished officer of over 40 years’ seniority! One of the most highly-respected law-enforcement agents in the United States of America! That vehicle happens to be evidence—valuable* evidence—that’s gonna convict a maniac that I’ve been trying to apprehend and that I have been in a high-speed pursuit of for 700 miles! He is wanted for the Mann Act, kidnappin’, and the attempted murder of over 20 brother officers.”
Classic Buford T. Justice Quotes and One-Liners
14. “Breaker, breaker for the Bandit.”
15. “Nobody’s chasin’ me, boy!”
16. “One sh*t at a time!”
17. “The goddamn Germans got nothin’ to do with it.”
18. “Where are you, you sumbitch?”
19. “You sumbitches couldn’t close an umbrella!”
20. “I’m gonna barbecue yo’ ass in molasses!”
Buford T. Justice Quotes From Smokey and the Bandit
21. “Bandit, I got a smokey report for you. Come on!”
22. “This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin’ around with those show folk fags.”
23. “If they’d cremated the sumbitch. I could be kickin’ that Mr. Bandit’s ass around the moon by now.”
24. “What the hell is this, a drive-in movie? Get off of there, you Moose twit!”
More Buford T. Justice Quotes and Conversations to Make You Laugh
25. Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “Hey, boy, where’s Sheriff Branford?”
Sheriff George Branford: “I am Sheriff Branford.”
Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “Ooh, hee-hee. For some reason or another, you sounded a little taller on the radio, hee-hee.”
26. The Bandit: “You must be in a hell of a hurry, huh, Sheriff?”
Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “You bet your ass on that, boy.”
27. Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “Apprehend that horse ass for reckless driving!”
Junior Justice: “But, Daddy—.”
Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “Do what I tell you, you pile of monkey nuts!”
28. Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “You got trouble comin’.”
The Bandit: “Well, what’s your handle, son, and what’s your 20?”
Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “My handle’s Smokey Bear, and I’m tail-grabbin’ yo’ ass right now!”
29. Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “Hold my hat for me!”
Junior Justice: “My hat blew off, Daddy.”
Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “I hope your goddamn head was in it!”
30. Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “You want something?”
Junior Justice: “Hushpuppies, Daddy!”
Sheriff Buford T. Justice: “We got no time for that crap! Dumb sumbitch.”
What Do You Think of Buford T. Justice’s Personality?
Buford T. Justice might seem like your ordinary town sheriff. However, behind his seemingly righteous quest for justice is a personal vendetta he just had to make sure he put to a close.
Smokey and the Bandit is a comedy movie, and Buford T. Justice’s lines and scenes provide everyone with comedic relief. However, there is also a deeper purpose to his character.
It’s ironic that his surname is “Justice” when he’s acting because of a personal grudge. Yes, The Bandit and The Snowman did do something illegal.
However, after reading through all the quotes, do you really believe that that was his only motive to pursue the chase? Law enforcement officers should be able to work professionally without being swayed by their emotions.
Yet, it was impossible for Buford T. Justice because of his personality. Beyond his responsibilities as a sheriff, he pursued the tandem because he didn’t want to seem like a joke to the town.
There’s no doubt that Buford T. Justice’s character proves that even a movie’s funniest and most comedic characters can teach us something more profound. So, keep an open mind the next time you read his best quotes!