Let these Dodgeball quotes teach you the value of courage and perseverance in fighting for what you want in life and winning your battles!
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story is a sports comedy movie starring Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller.
The plot revolves around a local gym engaging in a dodgeball battle against a corporate fitness health chain to save their establishment.
Globo Gym, owned by White Goodman, targets the place and property of a small gym called Average Joe’s.
But, the members of Average Joe’s were loyal to their own little space. This is why they did their best to fight and stand against the demolition initiated by the corporation.
Through many negotiations, in the end, they decided to settle their conflicts through a good game of dodgeball.
As it is, the movie is so amusing and entertaining that we’re sure you’ll watch it over and over.
But, more than the exciting sports competition, you’ll also laugh out loud at the hilarious lines and crazy scenes.
The characters will also teach you things you’d only get a better understanding of through sports, like never giving up and winning.
Add this list to your must-reads now!
We’re sure you’ll leave feeling a bit lighter after going through the characters’ hilarious banter.
Let’s get started.
Best Dodgeball Quotes
1. “Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn’t have anything to regret for the rest of their life. But good luck to you, Peter. I’m sure this decision won’t haunt you forever.” – Lance Armstrong
2. “Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!” – White Goodman
3. “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” – Patches O’Houlihan
4. “Dodgeball is a sport of violence, exclusion, and degradation.” – Patches O’Houlihan
5. “If you’re going to become true dodgeballers, then you’ve got to learn the five D’s of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge!” – Patches O’Houlihan
6. “I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don’t have one, then you are never disappointed. And I got to tell you, it feels phenomenal.” – Peter LaFleur
7. “I love happy endings. You know, that’s the problem with the American cinema, can’t handle any complexity in it, you know? Don’t make me think. I just wanna be entertained.” – White Goodman
8. “Yeah, that’s me taking the bull by the horns. It’s how I like to run my business. It’s a metaphor, but that actually happened, though.” – White Goodman
Famous Dodgeball Quotes
9. “Ouchtown, population: you, bro!” – Pepper Brooks
10. “Maybe we could pay it off in Canadian Dollars and save ourselves some money!” – Owen Dittman
11. “I know you. You know you. You know that I know that I know you.” – White Goodman
12. “Oh, I don’t think I’m a lot dumber than you think that I thought that I thought I was once.” – White Goodman
13. “You’re adopted. Your parents don’t even love you.” – Peter LaFleur
14. “L for ‘love.’ Good times.” – Gordon Pibb
15. “Those men believe in you.” – Patches O’Houlihan
16. “Fuck you, Chuck Norris.” – White Goodman
17. “You’re about as useful as a poopy flavored lollipop.” – Patches O’Houlihan
18. “In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I have never been there, but I read about it in a book.” – White Goodman
19. “We shouldn’t be shackled up in the employer-employee relationship unless you’re into that kind of stuff a ha ha, ’cause I got some shackles in the back! A ha ha, just kidding, but really, I got them.” – White Goodman
20. White Goodman: “I think we should mate.”
Kate Veach: “What?”
White Goodman: “Go on a date. You know, a social date.”
Kate Veach: “I think I just threw up in my mouth.”
Also read: Famous Quotes
Dodgeball Quotes From White Goodman (Ben Stiller)
21. “Here at Globo Gym, we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, like baldness or necrophilia, and it’s your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it.” – White Goodman
22. “Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey Joke-maker, but let me hit you with some knowledge, quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, LaFleur.” – White Goodman
23. “We are the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, and we will, we will, rock you!” – White Goodman
24. “Oh, hello, Kate. I wasn’t aware I was paying you to ‘socialize.'” – White Goodman
25. “So come on down and join the winning team. Because here at Globo Gym, we’re better than you, and we know it!” – White Goodman
26. “How do I know? Well, I’m not only the founder of Globo Gym. I’m also a client.” – White Goodman
27. “We’re opening a new Globo Gym in Mexico City, so I’ve been boning up on my Spanish.” – White Goodman
28. “Cram it up, your cram hold, LaFleur!” – White Goodman
29. “My gym is worth more than four million dollars. Your gym isn’t even worth four. My gym has stockholders. Your gym doesn’t even have cup holders.” – White Goodman
30. “Oh, now he’s a philosophizer.” – White Goodman
Dodgeball Quotes From Peter LaFleur (Vince Vaughn)
31. “You really think you can come in here and buy me out, White. You’re a lot dumber than I thought.” – Peter LaFleur
32. “You look awful fat in those pants.” – Peter LaFleur
33. “Thank you, Chuck Norris.” – Peter LaFleur
Funny Dodgeball Quotes
34. Patches O’Houlihan: “Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?”
Peter LaFleur: “Probably not.”
Patches O’Houlihan: “No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste.”
35. “I guess you’re right, I’m not really a pirate.” – Steve Cowan
36. Peter LaFleur: “Hey, White. I didn’t think that Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?”
White Goodman: “Yes, I did.”
37. “Too bad Hallmark doesn’t make a ‘Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony’ card.” – Peter La Fleur
38. Kate Veatch: “Are you reading the dictionary?”
White Goodman: “Oh, you caught me. I like to break a mental sweat too.”
39. Cotton McKnight: “It looks like the clock is about to strike midnight on this Cinderella story, turning Average Joe’s into the proverbial pumpkin.”
Pepper Brooks: “I sure do like pumpkins, Cotton.”
40. Peter LaFleur: “Look, White, I know that we’ve had our differences in the past.”
White Goodman: “Differences? Is that what you call sleeping with three of my female trainers?”
41. Kate Veatch: “White? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”
White Goodman: “It’s called the Freedom of Information Act, Kate. The hippies finally got something right! Haha! Just kidding. But not really.”
42. Cotton McKnight: “I’m being told that Average Joe’s does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.”
Pepper Brooks: “It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for them.”
More Dodgeball Quotes That Will Entertain You
43. “My name is Cotton McKnight, and with me, as always, is my partner in crime, Pepper Brooks.” – Cotton McKnight
44. “I just talked to White Goodman today, and his team really wants to win this one.” – Pepper Brooks
45. “You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat!” – Patches O’Houlihan
46. “That’s a bold move, Cotton.” – Pepper Brooks
47. Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky: “You are the one that stares at me. Why is this?”
Owen Dittman: “Because you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
48. Cotton McKnight: “Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe’s shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match!”
Pepper Brooks: “Unbelievable!”
49. “Your ‘gym’ is a skidmark on the underpants of society.” – White Goodman
50. “Get off of me, don’t you touch me! It is over between us, Kate.” – White Goodman
Did These Dodgeball Quotes Inspire You to Persevere and Never Give Up in Reaching Your Goals?
Whether you are interested in sports or not, you can always pick up some life lessons from the Dodgeball movie. One of the things that it teaches us is to have the courage to fight against someone who threatens our dreams and goals.
As in life, there will always be people who will try to bring us down and test us. We may be discouraged and, at times, get pressured just to give up. But, these experiences are not always bad because they urge us to be brave and fight for what we want.
Learning to have courage and face your fears will always be the first step toward growth. After all, achieving our dreams requires us to go out of our comfort zones and confront life’s big problems. Remember that nothing is too hard to do as long as you have the spirit and the perseverance to work hard.
Hopefully, these Dodgeball quotes were able to change your perspective about challenges. Whatever happens, keep the faith, be hopeful, and never quit on your dreams!
Which Dodgeball quote is your favorite? Did this list of quotes make you laugh out loud? Comment below!