25 Zoolander Quotes Packed With Hilarious Lines on Modeling

If you’re into comedy movies, fashion, and modeling, you’ll find these Zoolander quotes exciting and entertaining!

Zoolander is a 2001 comedy movie that stars Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander. Stiller also directed the movie, allowing him to incorporate more of himself into his character.

We also see Owen Wilson playing Hansel McDonald, a fresh and famous model, seemingly taking the spotlight from Derek. Additionally, Will Ferrell was cast as Jacobim Mugatu, an evil designer plotting something big in the movie.

In the plot, Derek Zoolander is starting to pass his prime years in the modeling industry. Due to his naivety, he became part of Mugatu’s scheme to assassinate the Asian Prime Minister.

His dimwitted personality and his desire to be at the top once again made him the perfect pawn for this evil plan. No doubt, Zoolander is funny because of the idea of mixing cunning plots with modeling and fashion.

So, read on to get a taste of Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Will Ferrell’s impressive comedic prowess. Find your favorite Zoolander quotes in the list below!

And make sure to check out these The Waterboy quotes and Joe Dirt quotes.

Best Zoolander Quotes

1. “I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.” – Derek Zoolander

2. “I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.” – Hansel McDonald

3. “Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.” – Derek Zoolander

4. “People come up to me all the time and say, ‘You should be a model,’ or ‘You look just like a model,’ or ‘Maybe you should try to be a man who models.’ And I always have to laugh because I’m so good-looking. Of course, I’m a model.” – Derek Zoolander

5. Derek Zoolander: “Or are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?”

Matilda Jeffries: “A what?”

Derek Zoolander: “A eugoogoolizer—one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?”

6. “I have problems with turns, because I’m left-handed, and they haven’t built a left-handed runway yet. I’ve done over 1,000 runway shows in my career, and if you put all those runways end to end, it’d be so long I couldn’t even walk down it without getting tired. I think the only good thing about it would be there’d be no turns.” – Derek Zoolander

7. “You think that you’re too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite—you aren’t.” – Derek Zoolander

8. Larry Zoolander: “You’re more dead to me than your dead mother. I just thank the lord she didn’t live to see her son as a mermaid.”

Derek Zoolander: “Mer-man!”

9. Derek Zoolander: “And all he had to do was turn left.”

Matilda Jeffries: “What do you mean?”

Derek Zoolander: I’m not an ambi-turner. It’s a problem I had since I was a baby. I can’t turn left.

Matilda Jeffries: Derek, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who can’t turn. I mean, there have got to be some people out there just like you who can’t turn—turn—left.”

Famous Zoolander Quotes

10. Matilda Jeffries: “I couldn’t understand why I didn’t look like them. I just didn’t get it, so I became, so, um, I became—.”

Hansel McDonald: “What?”

Matilda Jeffries: “Bulimic.”

Derek Zoolander: “You can read minds?”

11. Hansel McDonald: “I guess you can Dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.”

Derek Zoolander: “I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.”

12. “What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can’t even fit inside the building?” – Derek Zoolander

13. “It’s that damn Hansel! He’s so hot right now!” – Jacobim Mugatu

14. “You is talking loco, and I like it!” – Hansel McDonald

15. “Shut up! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ’s sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They’re the same face! Doesn’t anybody notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You’ve done nothing! Nothing! And I will be a monkey’s uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can’t get the job done, then I will!” – Jacobim Mugatu

Funny Zoolander Quotes to Make You Laugh

16. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.” – Derek Zoolander

17. “The original Greek word ‘model’ means ‘misshapen ball of clay,’ and I try to think about that every time I go in front of the camera.” – Derek Zoolander

18. “I hear words like ‘beauty’ and ‘handsomeness’ and ‘incredibly chiseled features,’ and for me, that’s like a vanity of self-absorption that I try to steer clear of.” – Hansel McDonald

19. Derek Zoolander: “Why do you hate models, Matilda?”

Matilda Jeffries: “Honestly?”

Hansel McDonald: “Yes.”

Matilda Jeffries: “I think they’re vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered.”

Hansel McDonald: “I totally agree with you. But how do you feel about male models?”

Zoolander Quotes About Modeling and Fashion

20. “You know, I love modeling. I’d like to do this forever. When I’m 30, I hope I’m still modeling.” – Derek Zoolander

21. “If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it’s that a male model’s life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn’t mean that we too can’t not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.” – Derek Zoolander

22. Derek Zoolander: “Well, I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking, ‘Wow, you’re ridiculously good-looking. Maybe you could do that for a career.’”

Matilda Jeffries: “Do what for a career?”

Derek Zoolander: “Be professionally good-looking.”

More Zoolander From This Iconic Comedy Movie

23. “Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion—a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.”

 – Jacobim Mugatu

24. “For god’s sake, Derek, you were down there one day!” – Larry Zoolander

25. “I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero. The music he’s created over the years, but I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I’m selling? No. Do I know what I’m doing today? No. But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.” – Hansel McDonald

Is Zoolander Your Go-to Comedy Movie?

With Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Will Ferrell as the main cast of Zoolander, there’s no contesting how much of a comedy it is. However, we’ll still find some snippets of profound and valuable lessons throughout the movie.

For example, one of Derek Zoolander’s most famous quotes goes, “There’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good-looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.”

In the movie, he realized how shallow modeling and the fashion industry could be. Their world revolved only around looking good, being physically fit, and having great charm.

Yet, he wanted to do something more purposeful in his life—and that’s what happened in Zoolander. Derek Zoolander might have been a pawn in an evil plot, but he was able to redeem himself by saving the Prime Minister.

Life is only made meaningful if we’re living with a purpose. So, if you’ve found yours, don’t waver—no matter how challenging.

With that, we hope you were able to view Zoolander in a different light and remember that there’s more to it than just laughs. Don’t forget to keep this list in your bookmarks for when you need some inspiring or hilarious words!

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Karen Danao

Hi, I’m Karen, a content curator and writer for Quote Ambition; I’m also a marketing and advertising professional. Beyond the keyboard and the screen, I’m someone who’s out to enjoy every bit that life has to offer!

Poetry, philosophy, history, and movies are all topics I love writing about! However, my true passion is in traveling, photography, and finding common ground to which everyone from different cultures can relate.

With the many places I’ve been to, I found that love, inspiration, and happiness are some things that bring people together. No matter how different we are on the outside, I’m a true believer that our emotions don’t lie; if you dig deep into our psyche, we’re all the same inside.

This belief was further amplified when I joined Quote Ambition. Through the quotes I’ve read, collected, organized, and written about, I found that humans are resilient, creative, and compassionate.

We take from each others’ hearts and courage, and it’s through our individual experiences that we learn how to rise above our challenges and pain. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere!

You can find me on MuckRack and LinkedIn.